State of mind...

HATS IN THE NEWS TODAY?




NY TIMES GRAPH
I read the updates in my NY Times email this morning and I saw a couple of things I just wanna share...

So Trump has been going around on TV and in rallies saying we beat the virus, his response was perfect, he did everything perfect, and we will have a vaccine probably on Nov 2nd...etc all hogwash as 200,000 dead souls could attest too.  It is simply a hoax his RESPONSE I mean not the virus...the virus is NOT going anywhere it is here to stay we have to learn to live with it.  Seriously it's not going away why would it? It still has plenty of places to reproduce and so it lives on...check out that graph... and def check JAPAN, now there is a nation with a handle on this virus..the virus has started to resurge with the allowances of crowds in USA and Europe..

Amazing right?  And the stock market dropped yesterday...meanwhile according to the Daily Beast  A conservative troll was right in DR Fauci's  ranks and is now resigning...he has been spewing lies on Conservative HATE sights online, glad he was found out!  The article calls him a Red State Troll...lol very appropriate...how much damage people like him cause...and another thing I read and this is something I wondered about back then during the Mueller investigation some of his people didn't dive into Trumps financials as deeply as they should have because they feared they would be fired or retribution of some kind would be put upon them from Trump. 

Manhattan District Attorney now says he has grounds for investigation of Trump and tax fraud, so if he loses the race I hope they move on this, the Golden Cow will take a dump at his door, and those who have been lying for him and covering up for him will fall away like pawns in a chess match. 

RBG will lay in State at the Capitol the first woman given this honor,  I hope not the last.  She said when there is 9 woman on the Supreme Court then it's enough...lol but there is good and bad women too, recall Sarah Palin what ever happened to her... OH she became a Fox News  Mouth Piece I do believe...and her husband of 30 yrs divorced her!

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This Sunday is my birthday...me, Roy Rodgers, and Jesus. I opened up the Mailbox today to Birthday cards!! Pretty good should have cheered me right up..but *sigh*...

I guess I will go visit mom Sunday at the cemetery, I just can't bare not being close to her we always celebrated our 3 birthdays together...Me the 29th, My sis on Oct 1, and Mom on the 4th of OCT this is why I can't imagine having a birthday and she is not part of that..it's just not fair...

it's beautiful outside today I'm planning to have a quick breakfast then take my walk and later there is a tree that feel not a big tree Im going to saw up for my wood pile.  And Im planning to clean up the new parts we had put on the car and if they clean up good I will return them.  Still basically brand new! 

Later....I cleaned up the parts I think they will pass muster! 

I did a little mowing, It been cool and sunny and bright but my mood was anything but I really need to get away and just reconnect with some inner peace. Find my center it's in here somewhere.  

I don't like dealing with other people's stuff but sometimes when you're a parent or a sister or whatever you have to.  
I had this really weird thought...I was on the mower and I thought hmmm If I bungee cord a couple of  gas cans to the back I could just drive away and never look back and that is the place my mind is at today. Just drive from gas station to gas station, and then when I got all the way to the west coast turn around and come back...sort of like Forest Gump when he started to run.  

I guess it's possible to completely mess up your own peace while you try to help someone else get their shit together.  I swear this is how I felt inside when I told my x bff that I could no longer be her cheerleader while she did nothing but moan and complain about her situation...I felt overwhelmed, hopeless, and confused. 

Last night I didn't sleep a wink past 3:30 am I tossed turned, read my old journals I've been doing that for a week, I want to re live some of the good times...then I watched  you tube on my phone, tried to watch some tv, all from bed, and did doze back off at 7 am for an hr then I was up by 8...so I feel exhausted, overwhelmed, hopeless and confused. 

Somedays are diamonds some days are stones....