Another time another place...

ORLDS APART...

Is how I feel today...I watch a lot of you tube it beats TV reruns and I am not really into Facebook or any of that so I learn alot from You tube when I need to repair something that Im not sure about I go to You tube and I have a channel of my own it's a mix up of DIY projects, and nature and travel videos...I have done some pretty hefty car repairs and put up videos on it...and some people have learned from me, so I consider it a community of sorts. 

I watch a lot of Canadians,,,most of them are Van Dwellers because Vanlife is something I have considered and actually done on extended periods.  If I lived up in Canada where you can still escape summer heat I may enjoy Van Dwelling full time.  I love my home and I've struggled to keep it so selling it to begin Van Life is not something I would consider, if I was 25 yes...but Im getting closer to the end of life and starting over AGAIN is not something I would relish. Part time yes for sure during three seasons at least. 

Some of the You tube vanlifers are city slickers and it shows sometimes when they are out in the back country but the only way to really learn is to experience it for  yourself.   You develop a routine and that is what makes van life work...in my opinion.  You figure out what works for you and you do it.  I've always had dogs with me when I travel as mentioned the one time I was able to get away without dogs was when my sis came in to stay with Mom and she agreed to keep all my dogs!! I was soooo thrilled.  An entire month of travel with no dogs...I slept in, I went to bed early, I hiked, I visited Museums, I didn't have to circle parking lots looking for shade, I didn't have to worry if it took too long for me to get in and out of a grocery store on a resupply run, I was able to actually sit in my chair in camp and watch a sunset.  NO dogs barking when I went to the bathroom.....THIS was the most free feeling I had witnessed in such a long time..

I traveled from SC where I live down to Florida...across the pan handle, down the Gulf Coast of TX and then into the Lower Rio Grande Valley...beach van camping, birding, hiking, relaxing even took a swim in the ocean...then to the Rio Grand Valley I visited all the "World Birding Centers" dogs are not allowed, its hot and tiring lots of walking etc, and no camping unless you want an RV park I didn't so I got a very nice motel room for 3 nights with a pool...it was great to take a cool swim at night after a long day of hiking, birding, and driving in the crazy traffic they have there, without having to walk dogs on tired achy feet. 

I headed West into the hot dry desert stopped at a State Park and took a ranger guided tour of a canyon to a place where natives had lived in a huge alcove and left all sorts of cool rock art, and then I headed South to Big Bend.   Even tho I did this in Spring it was warm too warm for dogs in a van with no  shore power.  From there I drove north into New Mexico and went to Roswell toured museums, went to a movie theater, and visited Carlsbad Caverns, toured the caverns, more van camping days  in the Guadalupe mountains and then finally I turned back toward east and home...

BOY that was a fun trip...I did have a time line so had to get back by a certain date...and then my sis told me, NO Way she'd baby sit Casey again...lol he had a way of stirring up the peace and quiet of an evening with his constant loop of going in and out in his nocturnal way.  It was part of his dementia as old age had taken away his once bright mind and replaced it with weird compulsions. 

Casey and I spent up to 40 days on one trip traveling and van camping all around the USA and Canada.  I have spent 24 day trips with all 3 dogs and 19 day trips with all 3 dogs, and countless short trips with all 3, and a couple weeks with the girls when they were younger...we would hike mountain trails to waterfalls. It makes me sad to recall how quick and able we all were, now Casey is gone 18 month ago, and the girls have slowed so much and are facing huge challenges, and I am not too spry either...

Comparing life then to life now....well it's World's Apart. And then there was the trip when I took Mom with all her Senior AIDES, and 3 dogs across country of course we had to stay in Motels, because Mom could not do van camping, so when we would arrive I had to get us registered, get her into the room then bring in the dogs, then her oxygen machine,  potty chair, walker, and then all our luggage, the food and gear for the 3 dogs, and then I had to go find a close by take out spot to get us some dinner to bring back it was a 4 ring circus for sure...BUT I would do again if I could.

One trip I took her and my elderly aunt Jean up to stay a week with their elderly brother in Indiana....so I had only the girls then it was 2 big dogs, 2 elderly ladies, and all their stuff...LOL and my aunt Jean always questioning me on which roads I was taking, and when we arrived I had to cook and clean for all 3 of them and then walk my dogs 3 or 4 times a day because uncle had no fence around his yard...
I was, to be quite honest, exhausted,  but so happy to give those three siblings that week together in their older years...Mom was 89, her brother was 80, and her sister was 74 and I loved hearing them laugh and tell their stories, while I cooked them 3 meals a day...I did get help with with the prep and the dishes, so they pitched in when they could.

So all those memories came back to me today when I was fitting Floss with some legs "stockings" that I hope will help give her some support on  those back legs.
I remembered chasing her through the corn field by Uncle Frank's  house and she was running full out...she was on the scent of a raccoon or something...

Worlds Apart...

Finally

EATHER is actually a bit better for now,

But it remains to be seen what Ida will bring up my way midweek or sooner...today its sunny and only 87  I actually went out did my morning chores and did not sweat...well not a complete wash out I did get one bead on my upper lip...picked the first ripe tomato on my HUGE roaming bush...

Yesterday I went on my first official bird outing since I don't know when...I even made a list for ebird, and I took the advice of the lady who replied to my complaint of the over zealous reviewer and marked my list unsearchable.  This way I know I won't have to deal with Mr Give me Break, but unfortunately my sis won't be able to see my lists which is something we have always shared...I plan to unlock my account when I get to full time birding if I do. 

I will be 68 in about 30 days so life is changing for me.  

I still have that wanderlust in me, but when I think of say going to British  Columbia (which I had planned to do) in the spring, I think of how tiring all that driving would be.  That is not my normal way of thinking so something has changed.   I never gave a second thought on leaving for a trip that I would easily cover 8,000, or 10,000 miles...but now I do.  I think Im doing the wrong thing and looking at the WHOLE picture instead of breaking it down mile by mile...

...my old dogs play a key role in this thinking.  My Floss can barely get up and down the back steps I can't imagine making life harder for her by forcing her into a long tiring and confining road trip.  They both do very well off leash but OTHER dogs are not under my control and they could easily become the prey of a pitt bull who is also off leash or worse yet under the control of 3 kids ages 5, 6, and 7.  Come on parents, Really?? I have come up against this a pittbull pulling 3 kids around a campground doing what ever the  hell he wants to do.

I think the only way I may be able to feel good about it is if I did no interstate travel...and just mapped one little town to the next...Rest areas is where I would run into unruly dogs and campgrounds too of course.  That has happened.  I would have my dogs who listen to me and would NOT run amuck if I say "Come here" they do...no exceptions.  BUT other dogs are not that well behaved.  I have a plan each time Im in a rest area I leash them up walk them to the further away  corner  away from everyone and let them off leash into the corner while I stand sentinel covering the entrance to that corner.  YES I could walk them around till they finally pee and that would take all day...off leash they pee right away because they are marking with their scent.   When I unsnap the leash I say "go pee" they know what that means after years of communication between us, so they do...and then I let them walk a little more watching their behavior if the tail is up they need to do #2, so I allow them the time to sniff out a spot, and once they are done I leash them back up and then pick up after them...It's a perfect plan as long as another dog doesn't come running over to attack...so it's always an iffy thing.

Casey I could not allow to be off leash he was not like my girls he did not listen to me and he was senile so he would not obey any commands I walked him miles hoping for him to do this business so I could go to sleep or get my breakfast...I miss that little guy but he was not as easy to travel with as it seemed yes he was small and he slept a lot but he was nocturnal.  I drove all day he slept then when we hit camp Im exhausted and he wants to walk, and walk, and walk...Finally I decided he would go out at 9 and after that he was put to bed.  

Anyways I was daydreaming of a road trip today...

chose your side...

HY 

...Do I let things get to me?  I've always been passionate about what is important to me,  Human rights are important to me and so is politics since that goes hand in hand, and sooo many more things.  Like Animal Rights. 

There is a youtube channel I enjoy a young girl and her dog they live in a van, and mostly I found her to be quite interesting...but then I found out she is going on a Deer Hunt in January...OH boy I can't support that so I guess I will be unsubscribing...if she goes forward with that.  

Some people may think "OMG you're so petty." But if you support something that creates income for someone and they are doing the exact opposite of what you hold dear then it kinda makes sense for me to support someone more in line with what I want to see more of...it's like a preference in Music, Movies, or Books, you support what  you like and what is important to you and YOU don't support someone who kills what is important to you.  

I hope she will change her mind....she has an instagram, and I was supporting that with my little "likes" etc...and then when she mentioned the planned hunt, I simply said "kill a deer?" ;o(( and I unfollowed, you gotta stand up for what you believe in and denounce what you don't I am not and nor could I ever be one of those fence riders...You can't be both, you either are or are not in favor of hunting...I am not. 

GOPs BS indignation

HATS NEXT? 

How else can they draw attention away from the House Commission that is investigating them??

Now please excuse my language this is for adult eyes only. 

The news media really gave huge credence to the attack on the Kabul Airport yesterday...what I heard from an independent news source is the group that attacked was not part of the  "new" leadership, the Taliban. Which Trump gave his blessing to... I think this group ISK was it, are like the rebels of the Taliban, are they worse, better, I just don't know. Seems when you think you have seen the worse more rise up.  All I know is more coverage and political talk was made about this attack then the attack on a Denver Theater where 24 innocent American's going to a movie were suddenly gunned down.  Or when 10 innocent shoppers were gunned down grocery shopping?  Or when hundreds attacked our own Capitol, why is it such a surprise that an airport surrounded by MAD MEN With Guns being shot upon  is outrageous...to me it was a GIVEN...

I hate that anyone has lost a life,  limb, or their home due to this BS excuse for a country!! Will the Taliban not allow people to leave the borders in the future?  What is the whole purpose, it's like "ok I want this group of people so I can force them to live the way I want." 

Really? It's insane.  It is Terrorism and I thought we didn't deal with terrorists.  Looks like someone did!! 

If the US ARMY had been serious in the first place we would have gone  in under BUSH, do what armies do and get out in a week...but we allowed and in fact enabled this to happen,,for 20 fucking years!!! SO REALLY why is anyone surprised???  SO why all the shock all the surprise, the GOP leaders with their sudden  LOVE for Afghanistan,  and it's people....WHY?? Trump had planned a May withdrawal...they said nothing they did not ask for his withdrawal blueprint, they didn't say DIDDLE SQUATT. THEY SAID NOTHING!!! They did not ask him questions, they did not give advice they said and did Nothing!! Now after the fact they are ALL indignant??? How very convienent. 

A mad man incited a riot on JAN 6th,  our Capitol police were attacked some died some committed suicide since then...and yet the GOP is doing all they can to cover up the inquest being held NOW to hold them accountable...what a crock that is...WHY are they not on camera shouting about that horrible Leader, Donald J Trump who allowed and actually caused it???? Instead they are on tv news yelling about how Biden is handling the withdrawal that TRUMP negotiated.  ITS all political BS. 

What a crock of Horse $hit. He sat down with the Taliban and negotiated with a terrorists organization....about a safe transfer of power while here at home he tried to lie cheat and  bully his way to a second term...now the people who backed him are out raged that Biden can't keep peace in Afghanistan?? 

Trump couldn't even keep peace in Washington, DC let alone Afghanistan, can you imagine if he was president what would be happening about now over there???

He would probably open fire on civilians and then blame Nancy Pelosi for it...and meanwhile he would broker a deal for a brand new Trump Tower  complete with a harem suite for Muslim World Leaders. 

He had the nerve to say "he got along great with the Taliban." "He got along great with Kim Jong-Un" but he didn't get along too great with 80 Million American Voters who voted him OUT.  NOT just him but the platform of the GOP so put up or shut up GOP!

SO MY QUESTUION Is this wth didn't the US Army secure ALL borders till everyone was safely moved...why didn't they make a de-militarized zone that cut a straight line thru the nation from the airport to borders on both sides to provide all safe passage?? Why didn't TRUMP broker that??????????????
We spent trillions and not one brilliant mind among them in the leadership, the military, the entire cluster fuck that is Afghanistan?  Did they really think this was gonna be honor involved??

IM sorry for all the salt I dumped here today...it's my Karma to deal with it. 

Was it worth it...

E MAY NEVER...

Find our true calling in life.  Something holds us back or pulls us off our path, or diverts our interest...and we never reach our full potential.  Some of us have less potential than we realize but that is not a reason to give up.  

Our hopes and dreams unfilled is still a life spent.  
A soldier dies on the battlefield I have to wonder at the last moment does he wish for his side to win the war or does  he wish he had never set foot on the soil that his blood has stained?

I wonder about these things, the people who gave up the rest of their life so they could achieve one thing...the bodies laying frozen on Everest, the ones laying in the  chill dark lightless icy depths of the northern oceans...those whose bones lay bleached on the plains under a merciless sun, what was their last thought?

Sometime I lay in bed and I wonder, what will be my last thought?  Will I spend it in regret saying "on no I wish I had of...", or will I defiantly think I lived the good life right up to the end?  These are the questions we will never know the answers to as long as breath...and we don't know about the "other side" if there is one.  

Is a life unlived a wasted one?  Are we born just so we can knit sweaters, bake cakes, and punch a time clock?  Were we born to be the eye witness of the World? Wonder at the crabs running on the beach or the skylark flying free above us, can we take all those wonderful moments anywhere with us? 

If I stood there one more minute and watched my child as he played when he was five,  would it be the last thought I had? 

Does our highlight reel flash in front of us, if it does then what makes it and what is left on the cutting room floor?  All the effort  you put into your job, all the love you put into your family, or all the awe you held inside....What will it be?

And another thing...

ELL THE POST

About Karma, I contemplated not making it public as it was a complete revisit to old baggage that I am supposed to let go of, hopefully regurging it will help me do that I am NOT good at letting bygones be bygones. Actually it was the message on FB from my X step daughter in law that triggered that story resurfacing.  It was after all  a part of my past. Dig up them bones then rebury them over here maybe deeper who knows?

Today my back is out of whack on the right side normally it's the left side the SI joint has given me issues since I had 3 fractures in my back when I was 18 yrs old.  I don't have to do any particular thing to make this happen it just does.  I start to feel some pain and before you know it every move produces more intense pain...I get down in the floor and try to give a good twist to loosen it up and sometimes I get a POP as the bone goes back in the correct location...but sometimes it takes days for that to happen.  Until then I groan with about any movement.

I did walk this morning exercise is actually good for the pain and helps get things back in correct alignment.  It was smoking humid again but I did push through and get it done.  

When we were kids we used to ride stick horses for hours on end, galloping around the yard and at that instant I was really on a horse...in my imagination.  We stomped tin cans on our feet to make horse shoe tracks in the sand and we ran around pretending to be cowboys or Indians. 

We could not  afford REAL stick horses fuzzy heads and a leather fringe of mane, we cut our own out in the woods, it was about "yeh" long  maybe an inch or two around just  a sapling, and once we tied a rope around the upper part and straddled it we had a thundering stallion beneath us.  At night my legs were rubbed raw and my feet had bruises from the tin cans pressing in.  ALL worth it, a  hot soothing soak in a bathtub cured my aches when I was 8 yrs old. 

Wish I could just get in a hot bath and it cure my Six plus decades of aches and pains!! My sis and I spoke of the physical  conditioning as we age.  She is five years older and recently she met another lady her same age only a couple months apart and she saw that she was in better physical conditioning than the other lady same age....but it's the circumstances of life that have to be inserted into that equation before you reach any assumptions.  The other lady had raised 4 children been in 2 marriages, and had a ton of baggage to carry around with her...Im sure she revisits it daily and that works on your mental which affects your desire to do the physical. 

That makes a huge difference...so it's not exactly apples to apples is it?  So when people say "there is enough equality, if you work hard you get ahead," it doesn't always work out that way so many factors, those things spoken of in a past blog post where everything is by chance...well it creates a different outcome.  

So part of my Karma is the way I lived when I was 18 galloping around on Real Live horses and getting thrown on my ass, ending up in the ER and then in the hospital flat on my back, and then the summer I was laid up in bed because a real 1500 lb draft horse jumped on my foot and  I received a crush injury that took three long months to heal and that still hurts today and then the 24 hours of labor to deliver a baby and the mental anguish of watching people leap to their deaths...all this must be in the equation before you can sum it up.

Okay I am doing it again...I know I am the result of my own Karma.

Karma

AVES HER WAND...

I guess we have all seen Karma at work, and sometimes we don't see the whole picture till we get the rest of the story...

I have touched on how my X was side railed by early onset dementia.  I must put in this side note this struck him AFTER we split up but before we were divorced.  

I did not file for divorce, in fact when I realized something was not quite right I did my best to look after him as much as he would allow...but see even though we were still married he suddenly had his son from a first marriage made his Power of Attorney, and right after that he filed for  divorce.  I called the lawyer that served me and I said WHY is he doing this because I wanted him to stay in the home we owned together so I could look in on him as often as I could it was right next to my Mom's where I was living.  I had sat down with my X when I moved back to SC to help my Mom...I told him we can do one of three things.

1. I can buy you out and help you move into a smaller place in town. 

2. You can stay here as long as possible and I will do what I can to help when you need it.

3. Or we can get a divorce.  

We settled on Number two! He said this was his home and he did not want to leave. I was happy with that decision.  That's when I spent my savings to add a room to Mom's house and stay there to help her and look in on him and help when he needed it.  One year later he filed for divorce.  SO I was a little shocked.  I told him I no longer had money to buy him out I had spent it for the room addition at Mom's....

So long story short I had to get a part time job which turned into a full time job and was not able to be with Mom 24 hrs a day which meant she suffered and he suffered also...IN order to buy him out and keep the home...So when I called the lawyer he told me his father had appointed his older son from his first marriage as Power of Attorney and he was the one who was helping with the divorce action so I called that son.....

And I was quite honest...he lives in VA 500 miles away.  And I told him look, 

"your dad is not in his right mind as you have figured out, I was looking in on him but not managing any of his affairs, but he seemed to be managing his affairs fairly well his bills were paid he drove into town to eat dinner each evening, and he was doing pretty good.  I was helping him out with the yard work and looking in on him but if he divorces me and moves into town I won't be doing that, so are you going to do it?"

HE told me most likely once the settlement was done his father would be moving up to VA TO STAY with him and his "live in girlfriend" who had 2 children who were both about to move out on their own..

So the divorce was finalized and he had one month to move out and I had one month to pay him the settlement offer and get the keys to the house.  One day after I paid him he disappeared.  SO I found out he had driven up to VA...with the check I gave him.  It was deposited into his account and his son's name was then added to his account I found this out Later.  That was Oct of 2012.  

BUT my x came back in 3 days after going to VA...and he began to try to move the things he wanted...our son helped him move...and I got the keys. He left the house in a horrible mess.  He had pushed things up into piles like he planned to move it but in the end he took only a few things.

He moved into a low income seniors place in town and I was told he had a lady who came in 3 times a week to cook and clean for him and  did his shopping... his car died of an oil pump failure...A "friend" of his who had been "helping" him actually helped himself to many of my X's belongings, the list of things missing were:

A handgun, a 16 ft extension  ladder, 3 circular saws, assorted hand tools, 2 chain saws, a outdoor wrought iron dining set, a lawn mower, and some classic dinette chairs that were in the attic that had belonged to my father...and then his car came up missing.  See we had made a list of all the "objects" in the house as part of the settlement, and NONE of those things were in the house, the shed or his apartment.  AND his car was also missing...when he collapsed in McDonalds and was taken by ambulance to the hospital...and later moved to another hospital they said he had a stroke or a heart attack.  Ended up he had neither we never got a diagnosis except dementia, and early onset Alzheimer's. 

IT was me who went to sit with my x for about 30 days when he recovered in the hospital he def had a psychotic  break of some kind he couldn't even talk! But eventually he got better, but now his SON who had power of attorney and medical POA also decided he should not go back to this former living arrangement but into a nursing home..

SO I spoke to him..."you told him and ME that he was going to be living with you in VA." 

But as it turns out when my x went up there to finalize those arrangements, his son's live in GF did not want his dad to move in and live with them...So that's why he came back and was put in a senior low income housing.  Legally I could DO NOTHING but my sister had stayed in touch with that son and he confided in her that he was angry because my husband had been loaning money to our Son who had lost a job and was having hard times...a couple of grand.  I started trying to get the house  ready for my son and his girlfriend to live in as a rental we had decided...as it turned out my son lost his job and had to take a job that was too far away to commute from here so that deal fell thru etc. 

SO what did the step son do?  He took control of my husband's accounts wiped it out the divorce settlement money was gone, and when we tried to get my x into a Nursing home the SS Administration was the one who told us there was no money in his accounts, they went over his accounts for the past 5 yrs.....come to find out the POA son was giving him an eating allowance of $10 a day...

So I found out from my X when he became alert enough to speak to me about some things that his so called friend the handy man had his car and had agreed to pay him only $400 for it, but never did....the car was at that time valued at $5000.  

 SO I contacted the POA son and he collected the money for the car I don't know how much...then my sister told me that that son who was supposedly was handling things had been diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease a year earlier and he had to quit work  and had filed for Disability!! 

By this time my x was in  nursing home and he was doing pretty good I went to visit and he seemed to be settling in pretty well...and in fact he met a woman in there and they became sweethearts, at this point I backed away content things were ok,  and my sister would call and check on him and his sweethearts daughter worked at the facility and she was keeping us posted on his going on's but then....

That daughter changed jobs and she had her mother moved to the place where she was working and she requested that my x be moved also...in the end the step son said move him....so he was actually living closer to me, but NO one told me...until he had been living there 3 months and he fell.  He was moved to Charleston which is about 3 hrs away... 

He did not do well and at one point they said he went into cardiac arrest, his son had put a DNR on him but they did not have the paperwork in the facility they moved him to and they broke 3 ribs doing CPR and then he was transported to the ER and that is when they discovered his DNR was not in his paperwork from the original nursing home so they faxed it over and he was NOT put on life support and died of respiratory and heart failure (he couldn't breath with 3 broken ribs) at midnight the day before I had arranged for someone to look after my mom so I could go down to see him.  BUT he died.

SO what does this have to do with Karma you ask....well Im getting to that...

SO all along when I thought my Step Son was making these decisions about the care of my X it was actually his girlfriend someone none of us knew and  had never met, who was making the decisions and the step son was passing this info along, it appeared he was in charge but his Parkinson's Disease had gotten so bad he was not even able to work let along keep tabs on my x's affairs....SO my sis and I discussed going to court to have step son removed as his POA but before we could do anything he fell was moved to Charleston, and in the end died...

The step son never came to his dad's funeral, never sent flowers, and never helped pay for his final expenses except for $1,000.  I never spoke to him after he told me he had changed his mind about his dad living with them...I was so angry....legally I HAD NO LEG to stand on.  IN fact my name was not even on his "call list" and if I called to inquire of his condition I was told NOTHING..,,

So this week I found out....the same woman who had been pulling the strings to get my x's bank account signed over to the step son has placed that son in a nursing home on hospice! So this is where Karma comes in, the step son who out of jealously convinced his father to put him as his POA and divorce me, and  his girlfriend convinced him to take over his father's income so my son could not a penny, and then marry her and put her on his accounts,  has control of him has now put him in a nursing home....he is still a young man, and to me that is a death sentence for him. 

So I am still friends with this step son's x wife they had 2 children they were married 12 years during that time we were all friends  I considered those children to be my step grandchildren, and she is very upset and as an x wife I know how she feels the father of her children is in a nursing home put there by the same women who put the father of my child in a nursing home and neither of us could do a damned thing about it...

IM sort of happy my SON is not married!! 

Contemplating

HAT THREE THINGS?

Today I phoned my sis, we have a sort of pact that we phone each other on a Sunday afternoon...so she reminded me today that my birthday is upcoming...Oh My!

And she said I want you to give me a list of three things  you would like to receive for your birthday...and I will give you one of them.  Of course it has to be within reason.  

So since then I have been racking my brain.  Three things....it's like someone said, "I shall grant you three wishes...if you can come up with three things you really want." 

So I went through those normal ideas, a book, but which one?  A movie, but starring who?  A gift card, but for where? 

Then it dawned on me what I really want is to sit down with my sis and just spend some time,  so what I want is time, time with her.  We live 1800 miles apart.  I hate to fly she hates to fly.  So I think I know what I want...I want to have a Skype Meeting with both my sisters or a zoom!! And they can sing happy birthday to me, and we can blow kisses, and maybe I can even blow out a candle...

So I have skype, and I think one of them has  it but I will ask for it to be done sitting up far enough away from them not held in their hands so I see both of them at the same time...and not the underside of their chins as happened once before..lol And at one point their phone got turned around and I could only see their feet...lol That part was funny...They said "can you see us, and I said yes I see your feet...and they said OUR FEET?"  LoL

I can't think of a single other thing that I would like maybe a card to stand up for a while, and put in my memory box...but I want a real experience more than anything. 

In the end...

HO CARES WHAT I THINK?

Nobody but anyways that was my thoughts on the Afghan crisis which will get worse before it gets better...

This has been a really awful summer for me.  I just was not able to push through the heat and keep to my routine of exploring and birding and hiking.  Hottest July on record, but here it's been the humidity, outrageous...most days it begins at 95% then as the sun  burns some of that moisture off and meanwhile the temperature rises, so it just goes from hot to hotter as the day progresses...it's hard to do my chores in the coolness of morning since there is no coolness of morning.  I went out last night at 11 pm it was 82 degrees...and 55% humidity..it felt like a sauna bath.  It leaves you limp and zaps your brain of it's alertness. 

So I am trying to take a mile walk at least 3 times a week not always happening...so my sis sent me a link to a Seniors  15 minute workout.  And it's really pretty good.  It's easy to do and I do feel like I have had a workout at the end of it, I'm going to embed below so  if any of you want to try it I suggest it.  If we all did this workout once a day we would improve our physical fitness Im positive. 

So today I did get that walk it was 77 and 88% humidity at 8:30 am...and I pushed thru and was done with my mile by 9 am...I got up at 8 so pretty much it's out of the  pj's and into the walking shoes...see this is what I dislike...I love to slowly wake up over coffee but I saved my coffee and put ice in it when I got back home.   

I had some mowing to do on the riding mower the only workout there is pulling it out of the mower garage, and then turning the wheel which is not like power steering and pushing the blade on and off handle which is quite a bicep work out, but only one one side!

I was soaked with sweat when I came in, you sweat automatically you don't even have to move one finger....imagine sitting in a tub of hot water, you know how it feels when you go into a hot spring? That is what it feels like.  So straight in the shower once I was in basically used NO hot water just cool water to cool me down, and then had my breakfast.  

GE get on the stick and start manufacturing AC units in this country again...if you don't China could hold us hostage...literally.  News reports yesterday said people can't find them...especially in areas where there has never been a need for it, like Washington and Oregon....they had highs of 116F this July and 1260 people in Canada and the USA died of heat related/induced problems...many are elderly who have no fans and no ac and no one who gives a damn...

This report tells me one thing AC units will become scarce.  And especially since Manufacturers don't even have them on the shelf year round this seasonal marketing BS same as no seeds on the shelf except certain times of the year? Wtf?  So I normally have to replace an AC unit about every 4 or 5 years...I have 3 currently.  I can not afford to run a central AC the electric bill is too  high!  When the one in this house was 15 yrs old it quit and we just went with window units cheaper to buy easy to replace etc...but now there will be a shortage, Should I go ahead and buy one and keep it in my shed till I need it?   I'm sure everyone is planning to do that.  

Okay so here's the video as promised..."sweat is fat drying" 

Hope you will give it a try. 

Op-Ed sort of...

HAT WORKS...

Nothing seems to work lately.  You're damned if you do and you're damned if  you don't.  Speaking of the current riff in this nation of ours.  Back when we went into Afghanistan I was not in favor and never grew in favor of being there.  I was not in favor of going to war with Iraq in the Gulf War.   That was Chaney's Oil War. 

What good could come from it if we did not in the beginning eliminate the enemy? If they had of gotten Bin Laden with a secret mission in the very beginning, then we would have gotten our pound of flesh for what happened on 9/11 BUT it took years to do that and the whole 20 year conflict was a failure but for some reason even with Vietnam the USA never accepts defeat...they will keep beating a dead horse.  

If the USA had gone in with the intent of destroying the Taliban,  lets lay our enemy useless, either use your sword to cut deep,  or put it away it may have made sense...but they did NOTHING all this time.   They played a war game and they lost. 

 Do not start a fight  unless you intend to kill your enemy, cause to me there is no "almost a war." It's either a war or it's just a Military Economy at work. One that Eisenhower warned us of.  The Military Machine...the contracts, the political gains, the almost but never really was a war but the TRILLION$$ spent went into the pockets of Defense Contractors. 

Now the GoP are using this withdrawal like  it was Biden's lost war.  EH?? Trump is the one who "had peace talks with the Taliban." I did not ever once hear the cries from the right of "let us fight till the death," or "why are we not hunting them all down and wiping them off the surface of the planet"...but now that the game is over they will accuse the game plan that never was about freeing the world of the Taliban.  They should have gone into Pakistan and got all of them if that was the case...or they should have just left longggg ago.  Obama wanted to pull out after he got Bin Laden, but he was convinced by the Military Machine that was not such a good idea...but what was the point?  They allowed al'Qaeda to hide in Pakistan and they simply waited and got more backing and grew stronger. 

There is NO WIN in this situation.  GO back and think....with the removal of Saddam Hussein who actually was of the Ba'athist party, an Arab Nationalist, a progressive leader, a secularist, who was anti Islamic the region has continued to destabilize.   He was an Arab....He was heavily involved in education for  his citizens and for was in favor of Arab Socialism not Islamism, things could have been different.  He was trying to  use the oil wealth to build an economy that would put Iraq in the world markets.  He was heavily involved in deals in the region to strengthen up alliances.  He dealt with Kohomeini, exiled him to France, He was actually fighting against the Islamic radicalism, he was not in favor of Muslims who were fighting a civil war, the Kurds and the Shi'a.  

This cost him his life, he used chemical weapons against them.   

I don't begin to understand the religious wars to me it is hogwash.  

 Bin Laden who tried to repel Saddam's forces in Kuwait was not in cohorts with Hussein as many world Leaders, and news media tried to say.  Hussein, altho a savage opponent and leader, was the type man who could have wiped al'Queda off the map.  He understood how to handle this type extremism more than any Western leaders could.  YES he was a bad man but he wanted stability in the region...and I guess he would have done it with a rain of fire. 

IN My opinion he would have squashed this regime long before it got to the point of what it is today and maybe 911 would never have happened...So George H Bush and George W Bush are the ones we can really blame for what is happening in the region today. 
In the end with one Bin Laden or Saddam were notorious killers, and that is the status quo for the region...my point is FIGHT to win or LET IT GO. 

Working in the Mine

HRILING MINDS want to know...

Where is peace?

So this morning I had put some bins of sticks I picked up from under trees on the carrier at the back of my van and took that to the recycle center they provide 2 big dumpsters for yard waste...makes it easy to get rid of stuff.  It's good to get rid of stuff!! 

Once I got back home I had 4 more piles of trimmings to put in those bins and soon enough that will be taken away.  I can  fit 2 bins on and each time I go to town and  drop them off...so in 2 trips, but then the trailer is also full of the big stuff so once that dries out some and will lay flatter I will tow the trailer in and  unload it...

So very humid, it's currently raining, and a tropical storm is coming up out of the Gulf to our South and pushing really horrible humid air up this way like we really need MORE humid air! 

So far I have been unable to dilute the salt in my life, unless I move to an undisclosed location that is probably not going to happen.  My son is a real PIA to me at this time in our timeline.   I love him dearly, but he brings no peace to me. 
So I started cleaning out my unwanted clothes.  Most of my clothes are old worn out and have long since outlived their shelf life, but I hang onto my comfy stuff.  I did replace a lot of my shorts with the new bike shorts.  Those fit good they don't sag and they keep their shape even when you sweat which I do a lot.  And they pack down really easy.  You can stack 10 pair and squash down to nothing.  

I did make a pile of unwanted shorts, and tanks.  I can't wear white up around my face my complexion is not made for white.  And some others are just not my favs so away they go.  

At one time all my belongs could fit in the back of an suv easily.   I have a house full again.  I ran away from home not once but twice in my lifetime and even at this age I think I could do it again.  When I feel overwhelmed I just want to say "what the heck" and walk away...

The Peace I have been in search of seems unobtainable. 

My mom and I were a lot alike when it comes to other people's BS.  We don't mind helping and would give the shirt off our back but at some point we want you to just GO AWAY! 

I think that's why she and I got along so well...neither of us were a people person, we love our family but we wanted our tranquility.  We had deep respect for each others space and developed a good routine of how we handled stress of living in the same house.  She loved Westerns on TV I could watch or go to my room close the door and do something else when it was her Western time.  Most of the time I'd watch one with her and then go sit on the porch till she was ready to join me or I'd work on my laptop.

My son does not live with me currently good thing because that I could never do that again I did it for 18 months when he lost his apartment,  he is impossible to get along with...no wonder he is still single at this time in his life.  I often wonder how did this spirit ever come from mine??? We are like oil and water night and day there is only one thing we have in common, we like the same type books and movies, and politically we are very close he is more moderate than I am.  

Anyways I feel like I'm in a Salt mine, it just keeps blowing in and I'm waiting on some cleansing rain to put in my jar.  Distance may be the answer.

Destiny

HAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD?

Wouldn't that be nice to know? Ok I can be for sure of one thing...death is in your future, mine, and the guy over there...yes all of us have one destination.  If we believe in reincarnation we may get another chance to circle the drain yet again.  We have no crystal ball and even if we did, every blink of the eye can change the path you are on...it's completely by accident.  I don't really believe in destiny or a set future...people who say there is no coincident  in my opinion is bunk. Everything is by coincidence. 

Your life can be changed by someone else driving down the road, if  you waited one minute longer at the light you would not have been there. You dropped your phone, you leaned down to get it, that one second movement put you in that intersection one second later, just in time to be broadsided by the guy who ran the light.  He was there because when he left home he stopped to get his mail not something he normally does, so who caused this?  The mailman, the guy in China who manufactured the phone?  The answer is no one.  

Yes there are bad guys out there plotting to get you....they lay in wait, they plan and carry out a plan...they create a reality that would not have happened in regular circumstance.  So NO, our destiny is not set until it is set in motion.  Try stopping a tree as it falls.  It's in motion, only another weird coincidence could prevent it from hitting the ground.  That's my belief.  We can prepare and we can plan and HOPE that if we are conscious of every move we make we may come close to what we want.   

Karma does make more sense every day.  Karma is an energy we bring around us.  IT will not save our life as we all know from the day we are born we are set to die, but it can make the time we are here a little easier to deal with. 

In the end what difference does it make? Dead is dead and gone is gone...

maybe.

Water filled...

HITE PUFFY CLOUDS 

With thunder, is surrounding us...me and my two scared of storms dogs.  Casey was hard of hearing so storms did not bother him, but if he picked up on the anxiety of his step sisters he would get anxious too.  We used to put a cotton ball in the ears of a horse when we used clippers so they would remain calm.  Put blinders on the truth to make it easier to deal with.  

So Covid is the main headline these days it's really on the rise.  120 school students in my county have it and now in quarantine.  School has been in session ONLY one week.  Our Salty governor says NO MASK MANDATES FOR SCHOOL KIDS, we will not be told what to do; they say, not for the good of all no way, only if its for the good of ME!! 
 (this is how they package their reasoning)

This is the week upcoming that more Salty Ignorant people who are of the same political party as that same salty governor can wear a gun strapped to their  hip.  Now let me be the first to say Death will be on the rise.  Covid and Gunshot.  I want to know if Walmart is going to allow these gun toting salty people in the store if so I won't be going in there. 

LOTSSS Of Salt about to fall into our cup. 

So they will not wear masks they infect us all, they WILL wear guns so they can shoot us all, they will  NOT get a vaccine so they can die if they chose to, they WILL fill up the beds needed for the those who really want to live and did try but got sick anyways...So much salt in our water. 

As you can see I'm labeling things "salt" and "water" yes in my Libra mind I must keep the scales of  balance or keep score which ever it is without it I am like that toy of long ago topsy-turvey. So I saw this movie, The Humanity Bureau. It was a little salty for sure.  But it totally fits my impression of what our American life will be like in the year 2030. 

Plot: Climate change and war between rival American ideology  has made the USA a barren waste land, and the elite (lie spreaders and believers) have created this system where they have horded what resources there are and they live in this steel and glass metropolis.  They have all the technology, weapons, power and have control of everything...including the non elite.  They decide certain people are a "drain on society" and should be relocated to New Eden because they can not take care of themselves...they are starving, their govt benefits have expired and they are homeless wanderers. 

They try to plead their case but in the end the system wins and they are "relocated".  As you may suspect this New Eden is really an incinerator and 7 million have been sent to their deaths.  HUGE lies about zones being contaminated by radiation like Canada, and Mexico are told to the population...so they don't even try to go there.  There is no food, no water as it is all channeled into the Elite cities where swimming pools are full of fresh water. 

This to me is the path we are on now...A particular sector of the population lies to keep more of the pie for themselves, some believe the lies, they act upon those lies, they try to overthrow an election to keep a Lying Salty man in power, and then they build more lies, they are already attacking certain sectors of the population.  The people who don't want anyone to cross our borders believe those crossing are making their piece of the pie smaller...they also believe that people who are getting help with rent due to the pandemic is somehow taking something from them...that people would force them to wear a mask, or take a shot, and they are being filled to the brim with salty hate...

In the movie a revolution is begun....

Many rivers and lakes are going dry, this was the hottest July on record EVER  since we began keeping track...our world is on fire in so many places, soon it will become all about WATER. Because water comes before anything.

A Pillar of Salt,

ENT FOR A WALK 

Before Breakfast today it was cool enough to do that for the first time in like 9 days...I truly enjoyed it too.  Song birds were singing, bees were buzzing, and a breeze was stirring.  That is what makes life pleasant.  

Yesterday, in my continuing pursuit of peace and happiness I spent some time with the Buddhist monk and it did  help me to put some things into perspective.  He said he had gone to his mom at one point in his old life (like I want to go to mine) and had told her of his suffering.  He came to America as a refugee back when he was a child and so his family roots are in Buddhism and  after he told his mother how a break  up from his significant other had completely destroyed him,  he didn't know how to heal inside and he didn't understand why this had happened to him.
She gave him one word...

KARMA. 

Damn!! This is what is hard to swallow.  She told him stop all the bad things you are doing and create more merit, good deeds. It's like a jar of water with salt, if you keep adding salt it gets so bitter and salty, stop adding salt and  add water.  Keep doing good deeds of merit, add the good water.  

If you give but with regret that is not a good deed.   You must give with a pure heart.  I will keep trying.  I had a bad week last week and I dumped a lot of salt into my jar!! 

Meditate and purify your mind...stop doing bad!! Don't recall it don't ruminate, it's over and we are here and now.  

So last weeks salt must be diluted...another thing he said is you don't need to announce your merits, in fact it should be a personal thing.  You know your merits and you know your salt.  

Some  ideas he gave was donating.  Goods, blood, money, food, helping someone who is in need.  The intention of the giving...is  you feel proud and you feel good about it, feel good when  you are giving, and you feel good after you give.  DO not put salt on your Offering! 

OH why did I do that?

Are  you giving just to cut down your tax bill or is it because you really want to help?  
The deed must be pure of heart. 

Another good lesson from the Venerable Nick

I've got a lot of salt to dilute.

The danger of Productivity. 

This is an area where I have had many questions in my own life.  When I had my business...I ran into this.  I wanted a way to support myself and be happy doing it.  So I was lucky that I found that thing when I was a young girl.  I had always worked outside, riding horses, working with horses.  I enjoyed that...but then I realized I did not like USING horses for profit.  I just wanted to be with Horses cause I love the energy and honesty of horses.  

So I stumbled upon Upholstery thanks to my Mom, she had a chair given to her the cover was in bad condition but the chair was still sturdy and strong...So she said "I'd like to put a new cover on this chair."   So we looked at it, this was a simple chair with only a small back and a seat the arms were wood and it seemed fairly simple, so we took the cover off and we got some material and we recovered that chair.  

Then I did another chair that belong to my land lady, we were renting a furnished apartment my husband and I.  She loved the work I did and she asked me to do a couch...SO I did and before  you know it I had so many requests to do furniture I created a business. 
A couple years later and I had more work than I could do I hired one worker, trained her and together we put out a lot of work.  But people pushed they wanted me to do more be more hire more people grow grow grow, but that is not what I wanted.  I set boundaries, I closed at 3 pm every single day I did not allow the market to dictate to me...this is how I was happy  running my shop for 26 more years. 

I would get  home in time to go for a ride with my horse Sundance...

I ran my business, my business did not run me. 

Once I was lied to by someone I considered a friend someone whom I had tried to help.  She was in business similar to me, she was a seamstress and mostly she did draperies, window treatments, and some slip covers.  She came to me and told me she had lost the building she was renting to do her business when she encountered so many medical bills she could not pay her rent.  She told me she had been diagnosed with uterine cancer And had to have a hysterectomy and would under go chemo and radiation therapy.  So I offered to her the back room in my Upholstery business RENT free...to help her get back on her feet. 

About 8 months later I found out she was coming in at night and using my machines to do upholstery work on her own and that she never had cancer.  It was all a lie.  She  was using me for free rent and sneaking in and using my equipment and supplies after hours to  grow her business and expand into doing Upholstery also...a conflict of interest to me. 

Really hurt to be betrayed by someone I trusted and was  trying to help so Bitterness was the seed that grew out of that attempt to do good deeds. I just ruminated....damn. 

I'm going to need more water....

American

ORKING STIFFS

Finally the clock strikes 5, you clock out and grab your stuff...head to your car, key turns and you're 10 miles away from the life you work for...Traffic is light thank goodness no train on the tracks, and it's not raining.  

Park in the drive, collect the bills from the mailbox, key in the door the cat wraps around your feet... head  to the fridge, a cool drink, plop in your easy chair...

Head back feet up mentally  review the day...take a deep breath..

Feed the cat...

Shower is done, dinner is made and eaten in your chair in front of the tube.  You wake up about 11  set the clock for 6 AM, crawl into bed..

Snoring....cat cuddles against your back and the moon is out. 

Eight hours of daylight spent working a job, hopefully it's something you enjoy or at least around people you enjoy being around...your reward for those 8 hrs is a wage it may or may not cover the cost of a decent home life.  

A roof over your head, some comforts under that roof, some decent food to eat and place of peace to refresh your spirit. 

6 AM alarm goes off, 

Coffee, shower, breakfast, feed the cat, dress, key in ignition, traffic is light pull into the parking area, clock in....

Watch the clock till 5...

I hope you like your new job. 

Anti-mood

EEKS OF HOT,,

Still to endure, and now the humidity is really on the rise.  I got a reply from ebird managers who are investigating my complaint about the reviewer telling me to change my observation...and contacting me 3 months after I thought it was all settled, I  sent her the email correspondence he sent me.  

So the new phone order is to arrive today HOPEFULLY...And Im mostly chilling inside just trying to keep occupied while the heat rules the outdoors.  The dogs took one stroll  in the pasture while I put some water on my garden plants and checked the bird feeders had to fill up the hummer feeder yet again. I can't fill it to the top if I do it goes rancid in the heat so I fill it about half full each time.  They are keeping me busy for sure. 

I had to buy a new tire the other one could not be  repaired because the damage was on the side wall of the tire,,,I really didn't want to do that because I'd rather have all 4 tires in similar condition...and Im not prepared to buy 4 at the moment...My spare is not in good shape and if I had it put on then I'd have no spare at all...so just had to bite the bullet. 

Having a car is the most expensive thing really...on these hot days when I really don't want to go anywhere it just sits there costing me money.  Maintenance, gas, oil, taxes, tags, insurance! I think Im going to keep a spreadsheet... just see what it cost me per day to own a vehicle.  I will say I have thought of not having one, getting a scooter to go for my supplies, and now a days you can have everything delivered, well if it's not coming on Fed Ex...

So if I had one months supplies delivered. and then used a scooter to go for fresh veggies once a week, I bet I could eat like a Vegan Queen. Mostly I do eat fresh foods...and frozen a lot too.  Dried beans, some canned tomato.  

I just got my new property tax bill for the car, and  again they tacked on a Road Maintenance Fee that has been challenged in court as being illegal.  My county along with many others are doing this and it was brought to the attention of the Attorney General of the State  it is being collected as a TAX but taxes must be voted on by elected officials or the general public so this never was...It would be nice if they would stop charging that fee.  It's been on our Personal Property tax forms for years, began at $8, then up to $10, then $15, now it's $35.  Every single registered vehicle has to pay this "fee" and yet our roads and bridges are never in good shape.  
It goes to paying higher wages for workers...The thing is they work for the county so shouldn't that come out of a TAX FUNDED BUDGET? This money is not tax funded it is a "fee", not a tax. 
I added up what I have spent as best I could recall on Gas, Oil, other fluids, repairs, maintenance, taxes, tags, insurance, for my van so far this year. $2,717 divide by 6 months $453 per month...now that will go down if I don't have any more big repairs this year to about $276 per month...that is a lot!! I had 2 big repairs, the entire front brakes and wheel bearings, and the differential gears..

So as it stands now it cost me $15 a day for me to have a van sitting in my driveway.

So we can go to Canada, but they can't come here yet..I don't know why they would want to come here...get covid and take it back and spread it around up there?  It's really on the rise and the odds are not looking good for next year either...it will def mutate again into another variant and then what? 

Ok I've been in an anti-mode lately, anti people, anti government, anti-car, I think it's the heat it's really starting to get to me.  I am PRO Air Conditioner for sure!!

OK,

HO KNEW?

So the phone never arrived, I asked for and was told Im getting a refund from Walmart, I ordered another phone from Amazon 2 day shipping so it should arrive Tuesday please don't let it be via Fed EX,,,can't chose the carrier you want...so if this one doesn't come then what, ebay? Most shippers use the US MAIL...which Ive had the best luck with in my lifetime. 

Then the flat tire I already pumped for today using my compressor so it's good till morning and I will have to touch it up before I head in to get it fixed.

The Over Jealous Reviewer-

So on FB there is this group called "ebird discussions",..so I brought up the notion of this reviewer who would not take no for an answer and I got a mixed bag of everything from ridiculed to being told I should not even be using ebird If I didn't want my list reviewed...That is not what I said....This is the 3rd contact from the guy about the same List...from 3 months ago...in other words MOVE ON already I have, from that list...,he is the one who keeps beating the dead horse...I already told HIM I don't have any more details, no photos, I removed the audio and I won't remove the species, so why does he keep contacting me, just mark it UNCONFIRMED If he doesn't believe me, he was not there I was, it's a heard only bird, not rare, its not a big deal but his annoying contact is a big deal..

So some people said "sounds like he won't agree to disagree." exactly my point.  Some people said "if you don't want to contribute then why are you even on ebird?" Ok, that got to me, I AM contributing...I am birding locations in the county NO ONE ELSE Is birding...if not for me, he would NOT even have his volunteer  position to make judgement with...NO birder no  means no lists OMG so that comment was insane in my book...I turn in lotttts of list, list equals data, 99.9% spot on...so that's like telling the car wash guy "you missed a spot." after he has washed 50 cars...

Some people are just plain jerks and this guy is one, just because he is a birder does not mean he is incapable of being a jerk.  And then someone brought up the question of  Should we name our home patch as HOME, I don't but its easy to figure that out...So all these reviewers have a map with directions to our HOMES...So If I suddenly disappear the reviewer should be questioned...LOL

THEN A moderator turned comments off on my question, when the whole thing turned into a fiasco...OMG SO I deleted the question...NO one answered my question. Which was Is it kosher for a reviewer to keep hounding you when you have submitted all the details you have for a particular sighting?"  One person said that is a fair question to ask and is pertinent to the group for discussion.  

One thing I was set straight on is they always use their own email so he did not have an ebird email account...so my bad on that one, how did he get past my Block?  I think I figured that out.  He had emailed me the last time about a bank swallow I had listed 18 months ago....again not rare, but he said 3 is a high count for that day and in that location...So that is when I blocked him...I have way too much real life drama on my plate to be annoyed by this guy's inquiries, just take what I have already put in details and make  your decision...just work independently for pete's sake.  

The email that came in yesterday was a reply to one he had sent me 3 months prior on that Sedge Wren, it must have been sitting in this "read pile" and he replied to it again, the entire back n forth on that Wren was in that one email, so that's the only way I know his email got past the block I put on it.

Several people agreed that a reviewer should not try to force you to change a species...especially if there is no good reason to doubt the list.  As I said IM the one establishing a record for  this location...so there is no past data to go back and compare to...every bird I report is  NEW for the location because it's a new location.  He should be doing his job which I did by looking at surrounding area data for the month of May and making an observation that yes Sedge Wren is present but  not in large numbers, I reported one, but I suspect with this being perfect habitat they did nest there...its right by the river, there is reeds and cattails, on this island in the middle of a recovered sewage pond that has fish and toads, and tadpoles, and tonssss of grasshopper.  IDEAL habitat. 

That is the reason I stick with ebird is the way you can chart things by county, by species, etc.  So In the Bar Graphs, I selected my state, my county and all the counties surrounding it, for this year for comparison.  It shows  the break down by species and by month...and the Sedge Wren was present in each of the surrounding counties not in huge numbers but noted as present in every one of those counties.in May..So surely my county, in the center of that geographical example, is not a Sedge Wren Desert, it is present and I reported it as such.  I was not able to get a photo and he poo poo'd my audio recording as not  good enough all he could hear were blackbirds, so Thats all I had! 

I didn't get any reply from ebird on my complaint and if I do or don't it really doesn't

 matter...I was pretty angry and stressed when I wrote it so now in hindsight I really don't care as long as he does not keep contacting me with the same old stuff, " Unless you provide more details or I will be forced to list your sighting as unconfirmed."
Just do it and leave me be is my answer to that. 

SO in closing on this matter, Im sure he will Not Confirm the sighting, and so the data is now wrong, it will show my county has had NO Sedge Wrens  when in reality there was. This is what I don't like about ebird the manipulation of data.   I notice this particular guy and others in his clique rarely if ever present anything more than a copy and paste description of the bird, no photo, no audio and its always confirmed by crony reviewers. 

...And the Ebay sale, 

the camera is boxed, labeled and ready to ship out tomorrow, I missed the 11 am pick up time yesterday...so I have solutions to each of my stress triggers, to bring myself back to Chi asap. NOW if it all works according to plan that will be awesome. 

WA WA

HO NEEDS TO RANT?

I do!!
 I have tried to charm my mental stress but lately the pile has grown out of  bounds...

What pile you ask?  The stuff gone wrong pile is the one Im referring to.  My Mom was always good to listen to me when I had to let off some steam about things  bugging me, and I did the same for her.   I got no one to hear me out so I will just put it in a post...I mean literally in the last 72 hrs sooooo many things have jumped up like a spitting python and got me square in the brain..

1.First lets go to Thursday afternoon...my son ran out of gas, I went to help and had to pull off the edge of the road, NOW I have a flat tire.  Probably a sharp object made a slow leak in my tire...Stress. NO good deed goes unpunished. 

2. I was doing him a favor he is trying to start a new job and his phone was destroyed when it fell out of the car side pocket and before he saw it he slammed the door on it,  and the whole screen cracked and then it got wet and now it's not readable.  So I ordered him a new phone.  It was shipped to arrive Aug 5th. 

 But it went to Florence a town 40 miles from here and its sitting in a Fed Ex warehouse, says its on a truck "out for delivery."..Thats been 72 hrs  ago...didn't get here on the 5th, as promised, not the 6th, and not today either the 7th...so I called twice, got a lady  could barely speak English and she said she is putting a tracker on it, IF I put" hold for pickup" then I have an 80 mile round trip drive and I have a flat tire and no tires shops are open in this town on weekends!! I pumped up the tire and will keep inflating it till Monday!  (I have a compressor) Yes we could go in his car but the  point is I paid to have it delivered....That hub has done this to me before when I had purchased a new window regulator...they put it on a shelf and said "they needed more info on the address." that was BS  they just didn't want to send a truck over here with only one box to deliver. 

STRESS

3. I put my camera  up for sale on Ebay, I don't like the Nikon I purchased...so it sold.  BUT since I last used Ebay they have unlinked my Paypal so I normally get my funds via Paypal, I had to put my banking info in there I don't like that and I have to wait till Aug 20th to get paid, soon as I do I will be deleting my bank info but that's 2 weeks.  More STRESS.

4. Back in May I heard a Sedge Wren in the new park I've been birding, some background:  this is a newly opened park where sewage ponds once were.  In my county there are about 4 active birders including me.  The other 3 bird in their own backyards and rarely go to other spots in the county so the county is very Under Birded mainly due to access, all private land. 
 So Im the only one who has been turning in lists to ebird for this park.  So I heard a Sedge Wren, put it on my list and I tried to get a recording of it since it never came out of the reeds to be photographed.  I used play back and  the wren answered it.  In my recording all you could  hear was some Red Winged Blackbirds, and mowers as the upkeep crew was mowing.  I got only one snip of the Wren at the very tail end of the recording and it's barely audible... but I put the audio up anyways...
SO  more back story...a new ebird reviewer took over the midland area of the state and he was pulling out lists from months back and asking for more info more details, photos, etc...Well trust me what I have has already been submitted.  The job of the reviewer is volunteer and its so they can keep data.  Okay I think ebird has taken it way to the extreme now a days  our Rare  lists are full of birds that are NOT rare they are trying to cubby hole birds into these time lines that are not realistic imho...birds are individuals...they can go where they please when they please...at the time I recorded the Wren it was NOT rare for that time of year. It was listed as rarely reported, like I said no one has been submitting reports, their algorithm is off. 

So they guy really started to get on my nerves, "are you sure it was 8 or maybe you just thought you saw 8 Kestrels?" Hell NO man I counted the  birds one by one there was 8. 

He is to confirm the sighting or not...I really don't care it's not important to me if it's confirmed...its only for my own list keeping.   I keep a list mainly to share with my sis who also is into birding and just as a hobby.  

SO when I submitted the audio of the wren back in May he questioned it, Not reported there before,..DUH no one had birded there but ME since it opened...he said all he could hear on that audio was Red Wing Blackbird so I said I will remove the audio, so I did.  BUT he wrote me again this was about the 10th email from this guy in like a months time...So I was annoyed with him to begin with.  He said "remove the Sedge Wren and add an Additional RWBL.

I am not in the habit of taking orders from anyone. I ignored his email and actually decided to block him...Aww bliss not having his demanding emails making me search my photos to see if I had pictures of a bird or anything else I tried to comply but honestly FUCK it..

So he could not email me anymore...but he figured out I had blocked his ebird email so he emailed me using HIS PERSONAL EMAIL account.  
He said I thought we had discussed this was a RWBB and I see you did not remove  it.  Good thing he was not in the room with me, he'd have a black eye about now.  He was not there he did NOT hear the bird, yet he wants me to LIE.  NO I won't do it...so I put that checklist as UNLISTED so he can no longer even see it.  And I told him "Please leave me alone." 
I can't be any more clear that that.  I went to ebird and submitted a ticket, meaning I have a problem....and I reported the guy.  I believe when someone blocks you from sending them emails from the organization they represent, to then GO and use their OWN email account to continue to harass is just damn mean and, an abuse of power going on.. I told ebird if he tried to contact me again I will report it and expect them to do SOMETHING about it, this is all voluntary.....HE can leave the sighting UNCONFIRMED that is all he has to do, but not good enough for him..I told ebird in my comment, he will do exactly what he wants to do regardless of what proof I could submit, what proof does  he have that the wren was not there?? IN all the surrounding counties the Sedge Wren was reported in MAY...IT only makes sense to me they are here too...why would they NOT come to the this county and yet to all the surrounding counties????
There is always A FIRST TIME for everything, did that ever occur to him that is the first TIME?? Like I said no one in this county even bothers to do ebird county wide Im the only one... up until 2 yrs ago we never had Scissor Tailed Flycatcher nesting in York county NOW they do...and We never had Limpkin nesting in the Low Country but now we do...and that same park,,,,there's never been Painted Buntings nesting but NOW THEY do I had photos of that or he would have been brow beating me over that.  

STRESS.

So this has been an especially hard 3 days for me, I need my mommy to talk to..

:0(

Hmmm

HERE DID THE HUMMERS GO?

Actually the males arrive first on March 27th this year, that was my first sighting, and now Aug 1 they are gone but I think they left on July 30.  They had huge fights that day and were batting at each other for a couple days...now it's only females here and they are batting at each other pretty hard. 

Males arrive early to stake out territory and they leave to reclaim territory in the tropics of Central America.  They won't make the whole trip in one day they will gradually go down south so I may see some passing males but my resident ones are Outta Here! 

I wish I was outta here with them.   Ive had a head cold for over a week now...NOT my norm at all I think when I had Covid it turned me upside down inside out and now Im a walking target.  I still wear a mask out in public and I had the shots soooo what else can one do.  My son said 'it's allergies." it is not...I have never had allergies more than one sneeze at a time.  

Anyways seems like its been a long summer already and Im not keen on the current weather here its suffocating with humidity and high's above 90 and even 100 with heat index of 104-109.  The weather people promised highs of the 80s next week sure hope so my grass is getting very tall and the outside chores are piling up.  I went out to water my pots yesterday after the sun went down and it was dusk I could still see my way to drag the hose around.  I got out early this morning to do a few chores and within 5 mins I was feeling like a limp ragdoll.  

So Im doing  summer hibernation! I would be traveling but my finances are in a mess right now and I need to be thinking of getting a new roof.  Im thinking of it but so far made no move to get it done.  I will take out a small loan I don't want to fork over any savings I have cause who knows what tomorrow brings, I can't eat a roof, or take it with me, if the house burns down!! 

So this is what happened with Insurance.  Mom had no insurance on her house when I moved in with her back in Nov 2006.  So right away I got some insurance on the house.  Each year it went up...the value of the house at the time it was so small had only one bedroom so I said I wanted it insured for $75,000.  The tax people had the house valued at just over $50,000.  Then I added the extra bedroom and deck increasing the value to about the price I had it insured for.  Then every year the price would go up on the premium.  I would look at the paperwork, and each year they were raising the value of replacing the home until they had it at $106,000 in value. The replacement value.  Yes BUT---would they actually pay that if we had a complete loss??

 That was preposterous...so I told them either lower it or we are cancelling...by this time I had gone through a property settlement with my X husband and now we had a second home to move into if anything happened to Mom's so we made a pact...IF something happened to one home we would both live in the remaining home.  Seemed fair and smart, the insurance company said "lower  your deductible, lower the personal injury part of the policy and that will lower your payment," HELL NO you lower the over inflated value  you have put on the home...they didn't so we cancelled! 

My Mom passed away and now my son lives in her  home.  I'd rather live in a cardboard box than try to live with him again so if my house burns down Im going to buy a small shed and PUT him in the "tiny home" and move into my second home, Mom's.  He does not know this but if the time comes HE will get the memo. 

My sister did the same thing when her insurance went way beyond the value of the home, she said "NO MORE" and she said she would move here with me.  We were paying $1,000 a year insurance, when we cancelled it in 2013 when I lost my job after falling so with all the  increases they would have hit us with which was about $20 a month each year the policy renewed I figure in the 8 years that was a savings of over $10 grand easily, figuring in the increases based on what we had experienced...when we took the policy out it began at $690 per year.  That is more than enough to pay for a tiny home!! 

We would have paid them $10,000 for nothing and in fact if you add in what we did pay in the 7 yrs we had it, it was closer to $20,000 for NOTHING!! 

We had a water heater leak and the whole floor was wet and it took weeks for us to dry it out the bathroom floor was ruined...the insurance did NOT cover anything, so we shelled it all out of pocket, plus the install and purchase of the new water heater...that was not covered under our policy...So you think you got yourself covered you don't. They said that was caused due to lack of maintenance.  HOW the heck did we know...if I had'nt notice the floor covering looked darker than normal and the plumber said it's been leaking for a couple weeks slowly getting bigger and bigger.  
RIP OFF.