Something to...

ELCOME IN THE NEW YR..

in an old fashioned way...I had gravy and biscuits for breakfast...of course I burned the biscuits.  I got so tired of the no gluten thing so I got some flour and make myself 2 biscuits they were going great then I got distracted and they came out kinda hard...but sure tasty...not like mom's tho. She used real milk...I used Almond milk.

BAD news my sis's dog Jimmy has been diagnosed with tumors that are inoperable, and the vet gave him only a week to live.  I think Jimmy will def make make it longer.  He is a fighter.  Sis is going to the weed shop today to get him some of the good stuff whatever they recommend for him.  Pot is legal in Colorado...I tried to order some for my dog and could not...she is going to see if there is a way to get some for Floss...my dog. 

I feel so bad for my sis, she has done everything possible to help Jim.  He was diagnosed with diabetes in 2020, then he went blind, and 2021 he had his lenses replaced, and she had to travel him back n forth to Denver so many times and then not only 2 shots of insulin a day but many eye drops...then he began to vomit and would not eat...So he was diagnosed with Pancreatitis...he spent a day in the hospital over Christmas.  Then he got worse on Wednesday so she took him in and they kept him over night to test his sugar and they did an ultrasound and some x-rays and found 2 tumors one on his kidney and one inside his abdominal cavity that has displaced his stomach and is not  operative. 

I really had hoped I would get to see Jimmy again....I Hope she will take a movie of him for me..

Back to my dog...
If you recall I shaved her and she still looks horrible.  Her coat has grown back just a wee bit but the naked spots are still visible...so I watched a Youtube on the proper way to groom a dog....well found out right away WHERE I went wrong.  See the blade that came on my clipper is a size 10.  You should never shave a dog with a size 10 blade only the feet, ears, and private parts.....now it came with these little comb attachments but with her coat NO WAY those combs would go thru her coat...

SO I ordered a 4 FC blade, this should go thru her long hair...as long as I keep it combed out good...and the groomer recommended 2 detangle sprays  to use I will go to Pet-Sense and look for that so in the future I won't have to butcher my dogs coats.  Annie I don't clip except sometimes her belly...

I learned a lot about the whole process and should have done that long ago. The new blade was $29 all paid on Amazon...and it will be here Jan 5th but I won't need to clip her for a long while yet...

I have no plans I did add a movie to my Tubi list for tonight...a good Sci-Fi, Alien attack type genre.  

 

2022

HAT ARE YOUR RESOLUTIONS?

I want to spend more time thinking of my own affairs.

I plan to use less Plastic and have a plan in place. 

I want to get at least 5 new life birds this year, only 8 the past 2. 

I want to get in one really super trip to Somewhere. 

I really wish I could come to terms and sell this house and move out      of this state. 

Learn to let go easier.

Be more frugal. 

And last but not least, WALK MORE. 

Goodbye 2021

OE WAS THAT YEAR,,,

 2021 was a real waste of my time.  12 months of nothing.  I really want those days BACK...it all started off with Jan 6 and the Little Coup of DJT...I don't even want to type his name...and here it is a year later and still its in the news everyday there is so much evidence he created the whole atmosphere for this to happen and then he basically told them TO go to the Capitol and take it "back" from whom....700 ass holes tried to take over a country of 300 million.....

Uh I don't think so...Put him in jail where he belongs WHY does he get so much leeway?

MY Aunt's xmas card arrived a little late, my sis did get one from our Uncle,  I don't think he sent me one..both my sis's got one...and my sis got a nice personal gift from the BIL who dissed me.  He gave me a used dusty, toaster oven that was not his to give when he handed it to me it was not in Christmas wrap,  so was he serious when  he said "merry christmas" when he handed it to me? Im beginning to think now he  was.  That oven had been promised to me like 2 years prior...because they didn't want it.  

He received 2 gifts from me, so I really do feel left out...My sister's were awesome as always very caring and sharing I wish I had those kind of resources...I guess it's time to let go of some things that really don't serve a purpose in my life, and that includes some people. Ok no more to say about that. 

The weather has been very strange good because it's saving a ton of money in heating costs...But next week I hear it's going back to seasonal...I wish it would stay somewhere in between...not cold not hot just right...

Did I mention we had an earthquake yesterday?? 3.3 on the scale..

I didn't feel it or hear it...I'm getting that feeling like I want to run away again...damn. 

Suddenly...

INTER LEFT on the first day...

So strange, on the 22nd, it got cold that night but since then it has been like Spring almost...the temps rose to the 70's it was bright and cloudless and I have not used any heat, knock on wood.  And speaking of wood I haven't had a fire in 2 days sooo Im thrilled.  I don't like cold weather.  I had enough of that when I lived in NY.  I haven't said much about it but I had plans to move  from NYC to Lake Placid.  The medical center was hiring paramedics and I was so wanting to get out of NYC...so I took the National Registry exam so my credentials would carry over no matter where I moved to...

And I had inquired about work there and they basically told me, all you need to do is apply we will arrange for an interview and you will be hired...Excellent.

Then I started looking at living arrangements, and even considered that I could purchase a little place of my own...THEN I came across the snowfall amounts for the area...4 ft annually...that's up to my shoulders ok....

NO freakin way...I wonder if they get less than that now...so I just googled it, currently there is 2 ft of snow on the ground and they expect 2 more inches today...NO thank you!! I sure made the right call on that one. I hate shoveling snow.

Maybe eventually climate change will make Lake Placid a nice place to be year round...but their snow season is from Oct 1 to May 11, Damn. 

So it's the day after Christmas, I have my windows open Im wearing shorts, flip flops and a tank top...Yeah it's warm 77 degrees!!...one year we did have snow the day after Christmas...and back in 1973 we had snow on the ground at Christmas when a freak storm brought us 2 ft of snow...We had to walk to work that whole week...NO cars could get out we don't have snow plows here...
Christmas was quiet as expected, my son stood me up on Christmas eve so we did the pizza on Christmas day instead...he got confused when I sent him a text that said Lets have pizza and watch a movie tomorrow...but he read it the next day so he thought that meant tomorrow...So then he texted me back on Christmas Eve and said OK see you tomorrow at 5...sooo it was okay in the end he didn't want to do the movies so I watched alone after he went back home...I am used to being alone now and being around someone else sort of puts me on edge...I've been pretty much alone since Jan of 2020 so almost 2 yrs.

I ate way too much garbage food...and there is still some of it around...next year I am not planning ANYthing....  MY cooking skills have just disappeared.  I tried to make a couple things, total fail!! 
The pizza was good right out of the box, and the beer was cold....so that was the best part. Didn't get to do the firepit, it drizzled a little tiny bit just enough to get the outside seating wet. 

I had wanted to see Mickey's Christmas Carol, it's a fav classic of mine, but it didn't come on...I should have Youtubed it,  I did see part of A Christmas Carol starring George C Scott, and I saw It's a Wonderful Life with Jimmy Stewart...all favs, and I watched the 2 Home Alone's made me chuckle for sure..so those were the only old friends I spent Christmas with. 

I got some gift cards to help me get thru January so I will get bird seed, and I think one tank of propane, so If I can't cut wood I wont have to I can use the gas heater...and I want some white paint to paint my front storm door it has some rust forming...and one Walmart card I think I will it go for dog food so I hope to survive after paying the huge freakin tax bill...The other day I gathered up some gold jewelry I don't have much, doubt I could get $1,000 for it all.  See the trouble is with such a huge leap this tax year it never goes down NOT in all the years of my life have taxes on property GONE DOWN...it only goes up..
Poor Jimmy the dog had to spend Christmas in the vets overnight  with pancreatitis...he came  home last night about 6 so the sisters had an interruption to their plans...but they took it in stride.  My BIL never sent me anything just a card it was a nice card tho....and my aunt and uncle both in their 80's now never  sent cards, so things are changing all the time.  

3 lumps of coal..;0/

Today I cleaned out the fridge...got rid of the half eaten jars of this and that...felt good but sorry to know glass is not being recycled in our center anymore.  Feels horrible to toss glass into the trash bin..

Had...

ET FLOOR...

but clean dog! Whew now I recall why I stopped bathing big dogs in my tub...it takes longer to clean up the mess than it does to bath the dog...She was a real trooper and she actually seemed to enjoy it.  She let me blow her with the hair dryer, it's only a small one so it helped but she was still damp in spots....So I had her under a blanket most of the day she sure smells better.  I fashioned a make shift dog coat for her to wear when she goes out to pee out of an old sweat shirt I had turned into a painting sweatshirt...I cut the sleeves off and hand tacked a piece of elastic to the front I dont put her inside the shirt I simply lay it double sided on her back...and the elastic goes around her neck/chest area and I have an elastic belt I can cinch up the middle when she goes out and it come off when she comes in...

Annie was jealous of Floss's blanket she tried to get under there with her...lol. She is a character that dog. 

It's going to warm up next couple of days she seems to be quite content. I did a little wood gathering I found a tree I plan to saw up tomorrow it fell in the wooded lot....so I will add it to my good wood...only have a little of that left...but I have my fire going now and it's warm in here..  Filled up my bird feeders had a little dinner already cause I skipped lunch and all is right in my small world...as long as I don't think outside of it, IM pat. 

I think there is an owl roosting in my owl box cause the titmouse went to the entrance and looked inside and made a big fuss.  Wish I had a nestbox cam...that would be fun...

So...

HAT DID I DO TODAY?
It was sunny and beautiful...
I really needed a day of just catching up...that normally means Im doing things to benefit my everyday life like splitting wood...this way I can be warm and my dogs can be warm and we go on toward another day in the best way we know how.  So I split most of what I have now I have to cut a new tree...its' going to warm up some but I will need to burn wood at night so I must cut a tree I will look for a dead tree..

I also tackled a problem that I have ignored for way too long...MY dog Flossie.  I normally keep her hair clipped up a bit..but somehow I didn't keep to my schedule and now here it is Winter and she just  could not go on with this thick mat of hair.  Brushing it out just is not even possible.  I try, trust me I do, but she has  Spanish Water Dog in her bloodline,,,,and her coat is resistant to brushing, bathing, and just about all attention.  Now that she has really entered her senior years, she can't stand up for grooming, or clipping.  She can barely walk due to a couple of things...an ACL ligament tear, that healed and then re-injuried, and the other legs arthritic.  So today I hoisted her up on the porch table and clipped her almost to the skin!! NOW I can get some shampoo down onto that dry flaky skin.  I brushed and brushed and you can NOT get to that skin...and then she gets impatient with the comb catching in tangles.

So I skinned her. She looks horrible...BUT it will grow back I don't normally clip her this close but I really need to get this dead skin off her.  I want to work some conditioner into that skin....
I brought one of the flannel doggie blankets that used to be Casey's to lay over her so she won't be cold....I put it in the dryer and got it toasty and she was soooo relaxed.  She ate a good dinner went out for a pee break and has slept since coming back inside. I will have to take her out about 9 as normal....she won't go out and do her biz unless I walk with her these days she wants to go out and come right back in maybe pee but not doing #2.  I think some dementia is present also...but mostly it's she doesn't want to walk around and make it happen...So I encourage her and sometimes I have to put the leash on her to get her to keep moving so nature can take it's course.  

So tomorrow I will bathe her in my bathtub...I hope I can put a piece of screen over the drain to strain out the hair so it won't clog up my tub!! I will put an old towel in the tub for her to stand on...hopefully she can sit at least while I bath her.. IF it should warm up enough for me to do it outside and carry warm water in a  bucket I will and then dry her and bring her in and blow dry her and then wrap her in a warm blanket...

She has no jacket...she is a long haired dog and never needed a jacket but tonight she needs one....when she goes out so I will try to find something to rig up for her for now...SHE seems so happy to have all that long tangled hair off her body...I hope I can be better at maintaining it at a length that is good for her..

Another thing I found was she has lots of fat tumors...I hope they are all benign Annie has one large one on her belly I showed the vet when she went for the ear infection he said it's only a fat tumor just under the skin...and so I think Floss's are the same.   

I didn't eat dinner yet.  I have no interest in eating I had a snack when I came in around 2pm and I guess it killed my appetite.  

MY Holiday Wish is...

ILL THIS YEAR PLEASE just end..

Just when I thought things may just get better the rug was pretty much pulled out from under me today...more trouble with the Son's life...My life is completely simple and very easy to manage...his is very complicated and he has made it so by not managing his affairs as a mature adult, but with an I don't care attitude you get out what you put in.  There's more to this than I care to share...BUT today was about as bad a day as he or I  could have.  

On top of that it's cold miserable weather, with drizzly rain the kind of day that makes one want to move to Baja...in order to feel warm.  And to top it all off I was not able to split any wood this week due to rain, and my aching back so it's cold and miserable in here...I went out as early as I could but it was already drizzling a cold rain so I was not able to get any wood ready for the fire...it's hovered at 41F and the humidity is 69% trust me a damp cold is the worst kind and inside it's 61.  Very uncomfortable my hands and feet are cold. I think my nose is cold too...Im about ready to eat some dinner it's only going to be frozen fries I placed in the oven...I stopped at Dollar General and got a pack of fig bars, on my way back  home...so I have something sweet...I can't remember the last time I had some sweets! When I feel this depressed I really can't cook cause my brain refuses to function.  

It just shuts down and refuses to think....when I try to think of something good, that no longer works.  I needed something to get my mind out of this place it's in and so I went to a cemetery...I KNOW what you're thinking, but no.  Cemeteries are a place where there is only what was, not what will be.  So I was there to photo a tombstone for my sisters research...and I found it along with 3 others that  a  photo request was open for...hope that will answer some questions for them. Getting answers can make  you feel better...providing answers can make you feel better...it's a positive thing.  When we ask why we want answers. 

If I had a chance to either go forward or go back in time which would I chose?...I think I would chose to go forward, to the day before I die...and then I would think back on the mistakes I made and did not recognize until it was too late...I would rectify all that in my last hours I would give myself the answers I have and then I would know I was unable to live my best life as none of us can do that.  Some of us are given physical issues, some are given mental issues, some are given social issues...and some of us have all of it and it's beyond our control. 

Tomorrow the sun will come out hope it shines in the sky and on me too...I can use it. I just scarfed down 8 fig bars, and now my mouth is glued shut.

A time of giving

HAT HAVE YOU DONE?

I think I mentioned I helped out some animals this giving season...I helped to save 3 animals from Slaughter houses in Mexico...One buggy horse who was tossed out like dirty dishwater, and 2 mules who were best friends...and I helped one dog get some much needed surgery...And of course I help my Son all the time while he has been put thru the Social ringer...I bought eggs for my dogs!! It's the little things....I put out grapes for the Brown Thrasher who lives in my back yard..

Some people have a lot of resources and they can give on a large scale, I wish one day that I could be that person...I would give all I possibly could to help rescue groups, to help people get the social help they need to have a better life, and just be more compassionate altogether.  My Mom used to help out she gave to St Jude, Joshua Tree, and World Vision.  She sponsored a young man named Lann who lived in Thailand...this means she was paying his tuition for school, help get his supplies, books etc.  

So anyways we all choose how to help and today I witnessed an act of kindness...an elderly AA lady was standing by me when I checked out the sweet potatoes, and I noticed she was counting thru the cash she had in the wallet...and she pulled out two twenties, and she walked up to a man that Im sure she knew but he was shopping separate of her, and she handed it to him and said, "get what you need, ok"...she was obviously a woman of small means such as myself...but her heart is open to share.  It filled me up with warmth. 

And then there is politicians such as Joe Manchin who said he won't sign Joe Biden's Build Back Better Bill even tho they cut it to the bone to please HIM a Democrat who looks and sounds like a Republican.  He recently voted for a $10 billion military spending bill...no problems, and he voted for the Infrastructure bill that will benefit his state tremendously new roads, bridges, etc..Need I mention that the Military Bill, and the Infrastructure Bill, that money will go to Contractors of the Military, and big Construction Corporations...so not to individuals.  

The built back better bill reduces the cost of prescription drugs that sick and elderly pay, it expands Medicare to people who will get help with paying for eye glasses, and hearing aides and other medical costs...it also would expand the $350 child tax credit...it would help pay for parental leave, for day care, and much more....this bill is the SOCIAL BILL...it helps the poor, the elderly, the low income families of this nation...right into the hands of the needy....and Climate Change Legislation to stop pollution to raise standards ,,,,,this one is probably the one Big Oil had him by the balls for...its obvious he is bought and paid for by lobbyists.,

He said "how do we know that child tax credit money is not going for them to buy drugs with it?"  OMG if he was here in the room with me i'd give him one to the gut the way he gut punched American's who are way below  his standard of living and who live in poverty while he looks down his nose at them and sees them all as drug addicts and misfits of society those who try to raise kids on $8.50 an hr...that sounds like something Trump would say for pete's sake, Needless to say I wrote him YET again to tell him what a horses Ass he is...Guess where he made his announcement??? On FoX fuckin fake news...

I smell a rat in the henhouse...So this post is about giving, Ole Joe was deserving so I gave it to him. I said "I'd like you to explain why you don't care about the poor of this country and you answer to big pharm and oil and not the Americans' who can't buy food or health care and drive around in old cars cause they can't afford new ones and you sit up there in DC and look down your nose at them."  The state he represents is one of the Poorest in this nation!! The average income for the people in the state as of 2019 was $25, 302 a yr...

a day ago

HILE

Watching a Youtube I subscribe to I had a memory.  This YT is a guy who visits graves of famous or not so famous people.  That day he visited the grave of a 15 yr old who had died when he fell out of a ride at Disney Land in CA. This was quite a while ago.  The ride was a rollercoaster, and somehow he got his seatbelt off and stood up and hit his head them fell out of the ride.  

That story brought up a memory for me...I have never been one to enjoy going on rides, I get motion sickness sooo...but back in the early 80's before my son was even born I went to a place in Charlotte,  called Carowinds, with my Mom my friend Shelia...and my step son D, who recently died.  He and I were not close in the last 20 yrs he lived with us for about 3 yrs in 1979 to 1982, I ran into my old friend the other day in Walmart.  

They talked me into getting on this thing called the Loopy Loop.  Neither of them had ever ridden it but the people getting off were very excited and it looked thrilling...So we could sit 2 in a seat and so my friend and I sat together and D. sat with a stranger in the car behind us...

I was regretting my decision to ride it the minute it came to a screeching halt we were told to get into the ride and grab this large padded bar that came down over our heads...and hold it with our hands, it came over each shoulder and down to  your lap.  

We were so excited we chattered and laughed and this whole loading process takes literally only minutes, as people are herded in and out like cattle.  So that part was ok, then when this alarm went off BUZZZZZZ.... meaning everyone is either in their seat or back away...that's the all clear signal.....the guy pushed a lever and that padded bar that came from overhead suddenly clamped down on us and we were immediately pinned to our seats...It made a sound like the Air Brakes of a semi as it locked and loaded us for the ride of a lifetime.  I knew that very moment I was about to be terrorized. 

It didn't just take off slowly, it immediately took off with G-forces working on our faces I looked at her and I yelled, her mouth was open and full of air as she made the O M G with her lips..

Then both of us looked like rag dolls as our hair whipped and bounced in every direction all at once...the thing shot off and then it cruised over on it's side and it looped the rail like a huge snake, then it went down and literally we were upside down as it looped and did that twice or 3 times.  I was screaming and had shut my eyes and was gripping the padded bar with both hands as tight as I could...Mind you at this time I was 26 yrs old a fully grown female...LOL

We both screamed to the top of our lungs, as our bodies jerked and slammed and took on the grotesque forms as the G forces pulled pushed and tried to kill us.  

It last only seconds, but I swear I transcended normal life I  touched the surly bonds of reality and wondered to myself WHY in the HELL did I think this would be fun...OMG..we could barely walk with the air brakes lifted the bar off our chests and I just sat there in shock...the people waiting to get in nearly knocked me down as I exited...

I never rode that again...but I rode this thing called the Rock Skip...

This was at Myrtle Beach...it was a water ride...so bathing suit required, we had been all day doing the Tube slide thing where you get in and along with rushing water you glide and slide and eventually you are dumped in a nice big swimming pool...but my older sis talked me into this one...it was a channel of rushing water, you get onto this flat floating thing a rectangular shape and it had handles on each side.  It's made of something like surfboard material.  So they instruct you to sit on the thing with your knees up toward your chest you hang onto the handles on each side that are at your hips....then you float like a rubber ducky to the edge of his HUGE drop off...and you and the water flash down the grade and at the end of the channel you are launched off like a skipping stone, and you hit the water and you bounce like 3 o r 4 times before you come to a halt in the pool...OMG another will never do again thing...

Here is a Loopty Loop or something like it, take a watch..

An Early Holiday Gift

OW ITS 74 DEGREES...

Im so thrilled to not have to heat my house for at least 4 days now...that will save me a ton of money.  I haven't had to burn any wood either.  Cold weather is coming, but I sure will enjoy the warmth while it's here...this is the perfect weather...partly cloudy and warm. 

It did sprinkle rain for just a wee bit of time but then it cleared off and was a nice gentle breeze, and a wonderful afternoon.  I went to the other cemetery where my Mom and Husband are buried...I was looking for a grave that my sis had requested the photo of, one she had added to the cemetery.  She is doing a lot of research on people who died in this county and are buried in the AA cemetery in town called Cedars.  We photo'd that cemetery in 2019 I think it was.  HUGE undertaking over 1,000 burials.  She added all the memorials and I gave her my photos...I love taking the photos I don't enjoy uploading them so much...

So this guy who I photo'd today was the son of one of the people buried in Cedars, and his wife was beside him so I added her...more missing links filled in.  THIS info is invaluable to people who are tracing their genealogy.  Since we link all the family that we can using obituaries, death certificates, and headstone info in some cases.  

Im just watching CSI and chilling now it's dark, the dogs are fed, I had my dinner, so it's time to just relax the night away and rest my back some more. 

It was a pretty good day for me.  

Yep,

OKE UP ANGRY AGAIN...

Not sure why that keeps happening to me, but I slept later than I normally do so I was angry about that...and then it was cloudy and that made me feel yuk, and then it's Friday AGAIN! You know how I feel about Friday...So rain is on the way not sure of the arrival time...but I guess we need it we are in a moderate drought. 

My back has been screaming at me.  So I took it easy today did some chores out in the yard filled up the bird feeders, cut back some goldenrod that had all dried up now so it can grow again...tidied up the laundry room which this time of year becomes a make shift greenhouse for my overwintering plants, and it's such a messy room to start with..it was an addition and it's on a slab when moist warm air comes in and hits the cold concrete it sweats...what a messy thing..

I will not need a fire tonight it is very warm.  Monday it chills off again so I hope I have enough wood I want to take as many days off that wood duty as possible.  Im wondering what I will make for my dinner, last night I had long grain wild rice with some steamed butternut squash...it was really tasty.  I purchased some streaming bags of root veggies, maybe I will do that one...steam it then pop it in my toaster over for 20 mins.

If you recall me saying my sis gave me a toaster oven I had used when I stayed at her home when they visited and we did our beach trip...well I used it for a month but I just didn't fall in love with it so my old one is back in the kitchen.  I will keep it in case this one should die, but it just didn't do as good a job of crisping the veggies the way I like, and if I was toasting something it took for ever...so I just decided to go back to the old one.  Ssssshhhh Im not going to tell her although it was her who offered it to me, when she said they never use it and I said why not, she said they didn't like it, now I know why...but when I was there I liked it over the gas oven they have...which heated things up too much for us in summer when we were there.

I found a video of the history of our town you may enjoy watching it..

Today

AS AN OKAY DAY

In some ways and not so in others...my back still not well so no wood splitting...I had to take my recyclables to the center so loaded up my 3 bins, Plastic, Aluminum and cans, and Cardboard that is all they take, they also take Oil, but I don't do my own oil change.  

Afterwards I went to a cemetery to do some birding, I hadn't been to this cemetery in a long time...and I was shocked to see dozens's of cheap developer 2 story condo's or whatever you want to call them just behind the Cemetery.  So out of sync  with the town they are built in...my home town, a historic town built in 1768.  But to be honest only my memories of the past connect me to this town.  I have been withdrawing from this town for a few years now...it seems like a strange  place to me now.  Not my home town anymore...

They tore down all the schools I attended, they started with the Junior High, (demolished in 1999) the old Gym that I sweated in for several of my teen years, then they tore down the high school. The old Junior High school had been the high school back in the days (1936) See we only had Elementary and High School back in the 50's they started with Middle or Jr high in about 63...So they took the old High School made it the Jr High and built a new High School in 1959.  I couldn't find the dates of when the Elementary School was built the original one was demolished before I was born, the one we were in was probably built in the 30's or 40's and then a newer wing was built about the time of the 1959 High school and the original Elementary building was not in use and was eventually torn down, and just a couple years ago they tore down the 1959 Elementary school...now there is a middle school just built and opened on the sight of the high school the 3 of us went to.  SO all the schools we knew are gone.  

The town and the Bridge over the Wateree was burned by Sherman when he marched thru the south...he didn't destroy the entire town just the business district.  Anyways the only part of our town they are preserving is the main 2 or 3 blocks of it, the rest is NOTHING recognizable anymore.  When they voted to tear down what had been an historic Black Private School, the  Boylan Mather Academy. (c-1887) and they built an apartment complex and pickle ball courts  and a CVS pharmacy I really couldn't believe that.  Much of the buildings had already been torn down...And that Academy was only a couple blocks off the main street, very historic and in use up until 1983. Some of the old Historic district now has McDonalds and Burger King on it..an old Historic Oak was cut so McDonalds could expand their parking lot...I mean really????

In 1947 a Negro Library was built at Jackson School which was the school for Blacks at the time...our county was the only one in the state that provided a library for Black people.  Thankfully the historic black churches in town are STILL here...some lovely buildings that are still in use today.  

So as the town becomes a copy of some many other American towns, I feel less and less a connection to it.  The old Zemps drug store, is now an Antique shop....the old Roses Department Store that was a cornerstone of the retail district was torn down about 5 yrs ago and a tiny park was made, Dibbles store built in 1891 is still there...he was one of the Black general store owners in town.  He would be shocked to see his town now. 

I like to see towns go  out of their way to preserve their historic buildings, and not rip them down and build new...

So anyways down in the old cemetery when  you look at stones as old as 1787 and then look up and see cheap modern made apartment buildings, it's almost sacrilege. 

Just thinking of my town the way it was the day my dad brought us here in 1960 brings up some strange feelings inside a yearning for the way things should have been but weren't a simple time when people were more important investments. 

Personal note

Jimmy my sis's dog is not feeling well...poor old guy he is having a hard time.  You may or may not recall I mentioned  he is diabetic, and he went blind last year and had to have new lenses put in so he could see again, now he is having gastric problems...he went to the vet today and he got some antibiotics cause he had a slight tempt.  I hope he will improve and be okay I'd really love to see him one more time if possible.  Maybe if nothing else I can have a zoom session with him...I do love that ole boy even tho he was a total PIA in his younger days as we all were I suppose.

I Feel..

ORN OUT TODAY...

I started my day splitting red oak, and it just whipped me.  I split a bin full and I hope it will be enough to last for tomorrow also.  My back, rather my si joint is screaming both sides...then I went to the cemetery to look for a particular grave but the cold windchill made my whole body hurt so I only gave it half a try and will have to return on another day to see I can locate it. 

Around 4 pm I finally just had to lay down on the couch and curl up under a blanket and try to get warm and stop moving so the pain would stop...I had my fire all ready to light so I did...Im only getting up to stoke it.  Sometimes your body just makes you stop.  So I watched this episode of Outer Limits, these Earthlings were on another planet in search of resources since our future Earth had none left...on this particular planet they found it was not inhabited but then they heard and saw a beast and the security force leader was a real jerk, and he shot down the 3 beings...

Long story short the environmentalist in the group wanted to help the beings the jerk wanted to kill them so they could claim the resources for their own...They took this gold thing away from one of the beings who were  hiding in a cave...and then killed them...as it turned out the beings who seems to not be advanced, were actually just children of a very advanced alien population who had only been on a "campout" type thing, the golden thing was a homing beacon, and when they arrived, they scanned the Earth ships computer banks and made a deadly bee line for Earth...guns blazing.  Whose your daddy now?

You never know who is really in charge till you play your hand. 

No fun...

ORKING WITH  MY NEW BACK..

Is a lesson in frugality.  I just can't do as much in one day when my back is involved...splitting wood and trying to groom the dogs on the same day is almost a no can do without pain kind of thing. I don't know how my mom did it...she was strong and very able right up to 73 and if not for the car accident that nearly killed her I think she would have done even better...she was still working at my shop at that age, and that was heavy hard work. But I started working at age 14, I did a weekend and after school job and then at 16 I worked in Dairy Queen and went to high school too. 

I did way too much hard work and damaged my back long ago so it just tells me it's had enough earlier and earlier in the day.  I just cant get as much done as I used to.  I feel sorry for my dogs because they don't get the grooming and bathing they should.  I MUST bath Floss she really smells bad...today I trimmed up her hair as best I could with scissors  she needs to be clipped but her coat is full of dirt and dead skin so she needs a good bath before I try to run those clipper thru her coat. BUT can I lift her safely in and out of a tub?  So Im trying to come up with a plan...I have some big plastic tubs but they have cracks etc from using them in the yard.  I think I can heat the water using my camp stove and metal bucket...or I can carry water from inside...I really dont want to put her in my bathtub cause it will be a hairy mess and could cause a clog..

I need to get a big metal wash tub and then I could do the whole thing in the back yard. 

There is a dog wash in a little township about 15 miles away...it's $10 for 8 minutes..that could be expensive.  I don't think I can bath and rinse and blow dry her in 8 mins! So it would be at least $20..

If I take her to a groomer it would be a LOT more,. So I think I may drive by the dog wash and just see what the deal is...In Summer I just use the garden hose because our water gets warm in summer and it's totally fine for bathing her.  Now that she has mobility issues, she does not do a perfect squatt, so she dribbles...and then she smells really bad.  I do a quick wash with paper towel every other day but now it needs a good wash n rinse. 

At the dog wash I could stand UP and do the job...it's starting to look like a $20 well spent...so that's something I need to take care of. Annie's hair is completely different.  I washed her today using Rinseless shampoo for dogs. Its a foam type product you rub into the hair then use a rag to rub it thru and then comb the hair..she looks pretty good and she smells nice.  I tried it on Floss it did not move that dead skin, that needs to be squirted with a forceful sprayer.  But I did her rear area...and now she smells ok. 

I think it was September when I last clipped her its almost fully grown out again now.  And I used the shedding comb on her coat and it brought out a lot of the shedding undercoat. She has this long flossy type hair hence her name,,,:o)

My post of yesterday I removed, it was too personal and it didn't really pertain to me, I probably should not have shared that I hope it was bots who viewed...I never get many views anyway..IM just happy that right now this DAY things are better, BUT things can change in a flash. 

Today I got a box of gifts from my family...so that sure was nice of them...one of them sent me cash and that went in my strong box to go for the taxes on Mom's house.  I paid my house last week so Im broke now!!

Heat,

HAT DOES IT COST?

Im trying to figure out what it will cost to run a 250 watt tiny heater for 8 hrs....so I figured out 250 watts is 1/4 of kwh which is based on 1000.  My Co-op charges 0.120 per kwh up to 1500 kwh used..so .25 x comes out to about 3 cents an hr, so a quarter to run it all night?  Im sure I didn't figure that correctly but I have a better understanding of what it may cost...I will only need it when it's below freezing. 

The doggie door lets in a lot of air.  I don't want to close it cause the dogs use it to go out well Annie does...Floss uses it during the day but at night she doesn't go out anymore...I take them out about 9 pm and she doesn't go out unless she wakes me up to help her...she knows she needs help.  I put up the ramp but she wants me to open the door and put on the light so she can get down that ramp. 

So that back entry is COLD I put a towel at the top to try and stop a lot of the air cause the flap does not fit well anymore it's very old...and it's poorly installed as it has ripped off the hinge a couple times...So the little heater seems to be helping I bought it for the van, but it didn't really help much the one time I tried it but I think I want to try it again...

In the bathroom, I have a space heater I put on when I am showering...I turn it on like 10 mins ahead of time close the door and it's very nice and warm, it is a 1500W heater...

And the radiator style heater I use mainly I have one in my living area and one in my bedroom...they are about the same 1500W...They use very little electricity...for the size,...it heats up an oil in the radiator and that circulates thru the fins of it so really works well...it's radiant heat. 

I heat with wood in the front room from 3 pm to bedtime, so that is free...and then I put the heater on when I go to bed....and still my house stays about 58 on a cold night...it sucks to be poor and have a broken central heat that I can't afford to replace! 

I watched youtube on how to drill  your own 25 ft hand pump well.  It's amazingly simple.  I wonder if I could hit water at 25 ft or less? You simply hammer the pipe into the ground...I think one of those fence post hammers would work too..

But Im an old woman my right hip is hurting tonight and I have a headache and I hope I can stay awake till 9 pm. 

Enlightened

ORDS OF THE DAY...

Listening to a monk who lives alone on a mountain he said, 

"I have grown fond of the silence." 

This sort of describes me, I speak to my dogs but they don't speak back.  I actually made a video for my DIY channel, and it doesn't speak back so these things I can do without issue.  That's the first one I've made in months.  I do it mostly for my own satisfaction.  

It's been a while since I complained about the guy who has purchased the land on my North boundary...he only comes there occasionally and what he is doing, I don't know...I just wish he was not there at all...I have never had to have window coverings on my living room windows but now I need them...since he cut down so many trees between US, he provided his screening on his front boundary and no one  is across the road, HE thinned the area between us to the point I can see him....he is not very clever.  HE did plant some trees that one day will be big I HOPE so did I some Cedars, Holly, and Magnolia.  I wish they would grow faster. 

So I think just white roll up blinds will do.  At first I thought curtains but that's expensive, And it would mean installation and hardware, and then taking them down for periodic washings, so I really don't want all that extra work.  I made all the curtains in the rooms where I have them except the sheers in my bedroom...I can get some inexpensive roll up blinds for just a few dollars, put in 2 screw hooks in each window and it's done...In the door that has 9 glass panes, I think I will go with the same type thing I put in my bathoom...it's a clear film that Blurs any sight line,,,you can see light or moving shadows but not clearly.  It lets in light.  I will cut one  hole in the center so I can see out the front door without opening it.  I only have to lower the blinds at night when my inside  light is on.

Today my sis and I gabbed on the phone for an hour it only disconnected once, which is about normal...It was so humid all day a huge storm, the one that created the tornadoes last night in the mid south. drove in this humid damp air...I did split wood this morning, but so far it's comfortable and I don't need a fire...behind this dampness is a cold front.  

I made Lentil soup for dinner, it was good.  I have enough for a couple days which is awesome...one bag of lentils and it gives me a lot of meals, I ate 2 bowls, since I had skipped lunch.  It's been a typical Saturday for me...and now it's time for relaxing till bedtime. 

Repair

ORKED...

Speaking of the tv antenna...the wire had been chewed of all it's insulation in 2 places mouse or squirrel? I never see mouse but I see squirrel daily! So it's working wonderfully not even one shaky channel...Im thrilled..I do need to rescan, but I will do that tomorrow.  Only 4 channels are missing.  I also have to rescan the tv in the bedroom.  I had a spare cable wire in the shed so didn't cost me anything.  

I split some wood for the fire...it always amazes me when I see people in the PNW and Canada barely tap a piece of firewood and it splints perfectly....I'd like to see them split red oak like I have, it will shatter your spine if you're not careful....they have Spruce, and Douglas fir, and Larch.  OMG they have no clue...we have no softwoods here even our Eastern Red Cedar is hard to split...and the Pine is too sappy to put in the fireplace.  

I laugh at them when I see them split firewood they act so manly LoL. Boy when you take a swing at a piece or red oak, you get quite a shock.  Better still let them try some Hickory or Maple...that stuff is hard...

I would love to have some Doug. Fir to burn in my fire...I think Aspen is pretty hard one of the harder softwoods.  So I only split enough for one night and I have 2 pcs left to burn and it's nearly bedtime. I guess I burned 12 - 15 pcs tonight.

I hope to watch Dateline if it's on.  I like the mysteries...I have to go out with the dogs, Floss won't walk and do her business anymore at night if I don't go out and make sure she walks enough to make it happen, she will rush out and back and then have an accident in the house...but when I go out with her and encourage her to stay out long enough to make it happen, then she has no problem....its been raining so I hope it's quit now.  

WONDER

HAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY?

Find a grave was out the rest of the evening at least the rest of my evening.  I finished up what I was doing this morning...I didn't get everything done but I got tired of that and stopped.  Cold Rain today so Im spending another day inside...I have a fire going and it's comfy but not really warm, a damp chill is the worst one to deal with. 

During the same outage my tv digital antenna quit...I really don't know what happened...Ive been piddling with it off and on all day and some of the channels are working.  I did the rescan a couple times, still not getting all the channels it's supposed to get so did the internet outage affect them? Possible. So I have 11 missing channels.  

I wanted to make humus so I tried.  I accidentally burnt my sesame seeds, so it was not exactly great but still tasty. I now need more sesame seeds.  It was a good lunch.  Then I put on my shoes and coat and tripped up to the mailbox to put in an envelope with money to get stamps from the mailman, I don't know if I caught him or not maybe not meaning my stamps wont get left till tomorrow afternoon...to send out those Cards I made  up...I had 4 stamps.  AND did you know stamps are now 58 cents each?  I HOPE Biden can get rid of DeJoy who has tried his best to destroy the Post Office. WHY? Because  he has a special interest in other companies in the delivery service...a Trump leftover that really is stinking up the place. 

One thing that is funking up the whole thing is this..Im not sure how or when it happened, but the postal service is being forced to fund it's retirement plan for years into the future NOW...so it's breaking the bank.  Like they have to have 75 yrs in Advance for the current retirees...I read this somewhere so don't quote me, but it's some unreasonable thing...

One of the Youtubers I follow just lost my interest and of course it's not my business how or what she does in her life I can chose to watch or not...but I sure didn't see this coming.  Suddenly now there is a man living in her van with her.  It's hardly Solo Vanlife now....so I was really left hanging on what to think about that.  She is a young girl  late 30's nearly 40 honestly and just to see her holding hands and the romantic lovebirds strolling down the wooded path is just not where my interest is...so I will probably unsub.  I find couples on Youtube annoying....just like the blogging couples in RV's...Ted and Alice, Betty and Bob, it's like me,  one person is suddenly a 3rd leg...Two's company three is a crowd...lol Sure didn't see that coming at all.  There is all that back n forth-ing when it's couples, "you want this?" "Shall we do that?" Just not my cuppa at this point in my life. OH and he doesn't want to be on camera so now I feel like a voyeurs when I try to see what does he look like? LoL

So very confusing...not sure what I will do.

There is a fugitive on the run who broke away from police custody...he jumped out of an ambulance.  We had that happen to us, we were transporting a guy to a psyche hospital from an ER.  So I was driving and had stopped at a Stop sign, suddenly there was a scuffle in back with him and my partner Kat, she jumped out and chased him, lucky a cop on a bike saw the guy in a hospital gown with am EMT in hot pursuit on foot...and he caught the guy and he made the ride with us to the hospital guy handcuffed to the stretcher...lol What a day that was. What he didn't know is my partner was a training for a triathlon so she could have run all day!!

Now we have,

EATHER SHIFTS...

IT got cold today been in the 70's for a few days so I got spoiled...Today my feet are cold...last night I didn't even need a fire just a blanket to keep me warm while I watched Jeopardy and the reruns of dateline.  I go to bed at 9 these days and some days I barely make it to 9.  I think I'm just done and ready to put my brain on hold is the thing.  But I was yawning like crazy...I took the dogs out last night it was so nice and warm.  We have high clouds and rain expected for tomorrow...and today the high only 60. 

I just made out a handful of greeting cards to wish everyone a happy new year, my list gets shorter all the time...and when I addressed the envelopes what a mess I made of that.  Mom and I used to put stickers all over the envelopes she enjoyed doing that...my heart is not in it, I am not in the mood.  

This was a really bad year for me, hopefully it will wind down on a better note, we got rid of DJTrump but he tried to overthrow us with his "tiny coop".  What a bunch of dip sticks...My son lost 3 jobs this year and just has 2 days in on the 4th HOPE it sticks...
I want to go away but I have 2 dogs not aging all that well...Floss has finally adjusted to using the ramp she fell off twice, so I had to line the sides with "bins" to keep her going in the right direction.  Annie tried to by step the bins, but now they seem to be accepting of it. Sure makes my life better...but it's quite UGLY! Cant change that and it doesn't matter since I don't entertain anyone anymore.  
I am almost completely antisocial now except for my online presence which is shrinking Im just about invisible. I have lost contact with all and any people I   used to hang out with besides do we still hang out in our late 60's? What's the use? I have no tolerance for different personalities these days....just being alone is more than enough. I do get lonely for my family that is no longer around...I miss them. 
So not sure if I will even go to the Concert on Sunday it's only Tuesday and Im already dreading the whole idea, by 3 pm  most days Im all done with the day so if I don't go it is not a big deal to me...covid is on the rise again and I really don't want anymore virus's running amuck inside me...

So what do I want for the upcoming year? PEACE and Tranquility. I don't want to deal with other people's problems, and I just want to spend my days in la la land.  I have a lot of big shit coming my way as I age as do we all...so I need to build up the energy to cope with that when it hits.  

Today Im having my low key day of the week where I go no where and don't even leave the house...sometimes I need that just to function, a complete reboot. 

I tried to do some find a grave work and the website crashed...This guy who is rather eccentric spends his day in the County Archives working on the history of the area...well since I've photo'd many of the cemeteries he surveyed back in 1989 he sends me little weird edits to do...this last one threw me for a loop because the Mother of these 9 kids he wanted to link up I could not find in the cemetery although he said she is there...At first I said that's your project you do it...but he just wouldn't take no for an answer so this morning I did HIS research for him.  
1920 Census report finds this woman listed as a widow...OK that's a clue.  So 1930 Census lists her as divorced and a new last name??? OK she remarried,  Check County Marriage Logs 1920's She had remarried and her new name was now Ross.  Then I went back to 1910 and found her first husband alive and them together...and his occupation is farrier.  Due to that I found his death cert with his dates of birth, death, parents, etc.  Then I found her stone in the cemetery under the name Ross, so NOW he can link up the whole family.  Her husband died in 1919, just one yr before the 1920 census, and she remarried in 1923, but that marriage did not last I didnt find a divorce record...and funny thing was one of her sons married one of his daughters! 'I was in the middle of getting all the info in Find a Grave when it crashed! He has found the married names of the Female children, not sure if they are in the same cemetery hope so...

Got a...

EIRD DISCONNECTED FEELING,,,

I never feel really good this time of year.  Christmas is often depressing for me.  I used to have to work so hard at my shop to help families get their home ready for the holiday and then we have a Candlelight tour of homes, and that was a lot of work to prepare for with all the well off ladies showing their homes I had a lot of work with a def timetable, the tour was always the second week of December...I had to turn some people away because I knew I couldn't do it all so that left me feeling disappointed, and the whole thing was a huge crush...like an Upholstery marathon...and this was over and over for 28 yrs.  Then on top of it I had my own family Christmas to manage.

When I was a kid we rarely had Christmas, there was no money for that especially after my dad passed away, I was 13 for some reason I always thought I was 11...but anyways after that my Mom struggled to keep a roof over our head.  We never had a turkey or a Christmas dinner... We rarely had heat and  even tho we were a tight knit group in that we survived we were never  "emotionally close"  It's like we each had our own struggle to endure.  There was enough years between us kids to keep us at different levels of maturity and in different schools...When I was in Elementary my older sis was there only one yr then she moved to middle school...then when my younger sis started I moved to Middle school and then my older sis was in High school...by the time my younger sis got to High School I got out a yr early by going to summer school, so we were at the same high school for only one term.  

Many times I only recall the struggles we had at Holiday time..so it's never a  warm and fuzzy thing for me. I had always wanted to go to a warm island for Christmas, if I couldn't spend it in a snow covered landscape with horse drawn sleighs all over town, and carolers singing outside,  without those things is it really Christmas.  We did have a few traditions that came after my son was born, we cut our tree from the woods, we always had lots of gifts under it and Mom and I cooked lots of foods...,my son and I made Christmas cookies, and I always took the week off between Christmas and New Yrs.   January was always a slow month in the shop and so I always had to make sure I held onto some December money to make my budget for January....

I think it's the missing family members now that leave me feeling empty this time of year...I hope one day to go to a warm island and just forget it's Christmas. 🎄

OMG

OW I GOT MY TAX BILL..

December is the month I give when I have it.  This year I won't even be able to buy gifts for my family! My tax bill went Double in one year.  They sent out the bills on Dec 2 and they are due in 45 days!!  My share comes to $1037.00
BUT my income has not risen one red cent.  They do not allow you to pay it in payments, they make you pay the entire bill in full.  It's almost like a land and home grab, as if you don't pay the taxes they sell it at auction. 

BUT I did give to the Equine Horse Rescue to help save a retired buggy horse, sooo many of them just end up in a slaughter house because "the good Mennonite's or Amish" or the racing people who retire "trotters" just discard rather than retire and give a good quality of life to these horses, they sell them off by the pound.  They ship to Mexico or Canada for slaughter.  So I helped save one horse, we had to raise $1,800 to buy him from the slaughter house, and we also had to pay for his transportation to a horse rescue farm where he will live out his life...AND we did it.  There is sooooo many more that need to be saved..😧IF I was young I'd start a horse rescue, but at this age, I just don't think Im the right person for that job. I had wanted to rescue some donkeys myself but can't afford to feed them. 

I have been involved in a few of these saves, along with many other kind hearted people....and I also sent a donation to a lady who I watch on Youtube her dog had to have surgery so he is a big part of her life.  Last year I donated some doggie beds and dry food to the local shelter.  

So I helped 2 animals this season.  I hope Karma is working and I will get some help with these taxes.  BUT that's not why I helped out I did that before the tax bill arrived.  I do it because I want to.  I have been doing it for several years now...even when I couldn't afford it. I almost always give to animal charities.

I don't have much, I do share when I can, and sometimes even when I can't. I think checking tax bills in other counties is a good idea...Because this one is pricing itself right out of my income range.  IF I didn't own Mom's house too now,  it would be a different story...BUT I do, and my son lives in it.  I can not depend on him.  He has shown himself to be undependable.  The assessor's office told me there is one way to cut it by 2/3's almost.  Since it is being lived in if I put in a "contract of sale" and register it in deeds, showing that he has promised to buy the house, a sale is pending...he can never mortgage it or borrow against it, but he will be named a primary resident, and that will lower the tax rate.  He will not actually have to pay me any money, So The thing is that would mean---- I can't evict him say if he gets so unstable as I don't want him this close to me, which in the beginning, I had planned to use Mom's home as a rental so I could travel.  Now I can't...IF he gets serious about life and can pay rent then I could apply that toward taxes. Trust me that is never going to happen.  To be quite  honest if he ever moves out I would like to have the house moved or torn down..(sadly) for 2 reason due to taxes, and because I don't want any more entanglements with family. 

BUT my sister offered to pay 1/3 and she said we all agreed last year we would pay 1/3 of the taxes on Mom's house.  I completely forgot that...So I think I can handle it this year with their help and hopefully next year things will be different in my world financially...meaning he is earning enough to support himself and pay his child support which is WAY too high for his current income....and Hopefully we can get it adjusted in Feb when he finally will get his review...we tried all of last yr and it kept getting delayed due to covid...OMG. 
I imagine the tax office got LOTs of calls today!!

Well that is my story for the day...