GO AWAY..

HAT A BIRTHDAY I HAD SO FAR!

Tuesday

totally sucked... totally sucked...my son admitted to me he is suffering from depression and Ill go one farther and say I think add bi-polar! OK I can't tell you how that hit me.  He has not done well in life for the past 4 years since the breakup with the love of his life, He has not been able to rebuild! I can't say I'm surprised...after he lost his job last month he kept it a secret for about 2 weeks!  So at first he was like angry he told me he did not like that job, but now he is saying he was content there and wished that he still had the job. None of that is my fault!!  

His SS card has NOT arrived so he doesn't think the job he got is gonna wait for him he went to see the Manager and she said she really needs someone now. Sooo....thanks to COVID!! Because the SS office near here would not allow in person business!! It has to come from Baltimore MD! It didn't come today and I think he really expected it today.  Again not my fault.

 He did bend over backwards to try and make them happy at his last job, he took the overnight shift that no one wanted, he worked without days off, but in the end it didn't matter.  I never enjoyed working for other people, most of my working life was in Self Employment and my Husband also we both had small businesses and that is how we coped in the world.

My Mom suffered from clinical depression for a lot of her adult life...it took her many years to overcome it and not that she ever really fully did.  She was dealing with my dad's drinking problem so I felt that was a contributing factor.  But even after he passed away and we all moved onto our Adult lives she still struggled with it. I get depressed sometimes, mine is more weather affected I hate gloomy weather...I don't like not being able to see the sky.  AND when someone I love is having it hit hard I get depressed.  I let other's people's issues affect me. 

I did go visit Mom at the cemetery...and they have not done the repairs so I went into the office, and inquired...the man is supposed to do the work on Friday...so we'll see I think it's so retarded that they CAN NOT do their job without me going there to press them? 

So I went to Lowes and got some metal fence posts for the backside of my pasture field...it has a section of wire that is messed up...must start all over to get it right in that corner.  I plan to buy those cattle panels, what I call them, at Tractor Supply...So I got the 8 posts at Lowes, but they don't carry the cattle panel there...

So that will be my next project around my homestead here...since the guy who bought the land behind me looks to be planning on building something I want to be sure  he knows where my line is, because currently that back corner is not well fenced.

So tonight I plan to watch the debate...the preshow starts at 8:30 No interest in watching that.. I don't have cable or satellite tv, only antenna, so I'm glad they are streaming it on Youtube if I lose my antenna cause it's raining and sometimes it is affected.   While driving around my town doing errands today I saw several Biden/Harris yard signs in people's yards and alongside the road! That is a good sign...

My sis was told her computer has a virus and that has allowed someone to get her ONLINE banking password, and that is how her money was almost stolen!  So I guess we really need to be sure we don't download things online!! She is forever downloading obituaries for  historical research...that may be how it got in.  So she changed her password to her sign in, her debit cards, etc. and she is taking her laptop in to be debugged! 

Its' tough living in these times, it makes me want to go hide my head in the sand...

well another year older and deeper in debt...I was reading in my journal of 2018 I was trying to get out of debt....I did and now Im right back in it....same place.  But when you are not well off you depend on credit to do a lot of things you need done that you don't want to put your savings on the line to do!  It's not a huge debt but still...it is part of my anxiety! 

Well it seems like my gloomy birthday keeps getting gloomier I was talking to my sis she was driving and my phone was dying and I lost the call....and the frosting on it will be having to sit thru the debate and listen to that ignorant Trump talk...but I want to hear what is being said for myself and not get a watered down version later on.  OH yeah I thought my birthday  was on Sunday it was not then I thought it was on Wednesday and I got up this morning and it was today, the forgotten birthday one of the worst ever in my entire life even falling out of the attic in 2013 on my birthday was not this bad!!...Anyways if it was your Birthday today I hope it was better than MINE!!

Next year I don't even want to think about it being my birthday!! 

WHAT?

EAKNESS

Each of us has our weak points...that is not the hard part.  The hard part if when do we finally see when our weak buttons are being pushed. I get so angry at myself for being so gullible.  I have to learn when to let go...

Yesterday I forgot to mention it would have been my Mom's anniversary...She was married in 1945 I think...That was long ago.  My dad was Tec 5 in the Army he was not sent overseas, he was stationed at Ft Oglethorpe, Georgia.  Mom didn't share a lot about their early years of marriage, like before my sister was born, I know they moved to KY for a while he worked in the coal mines there...and a cave in killed one of their best friends so he quit and they moved back to TN. 

Today was not a good day for me.  It's going to be raining again the next couple of days, so that is depressing.  I really wanted some nice blue sky days.  Not gonna happen, we have had so many days of clouds now...and little bits of rain but now comes an inch of rain or more..

MY sis emailed me in a panic and said $3900 is missing from her account! OH NO...so asa it opened she was at the bank...apparently the Money had NOT been moved YET but it was about to be...it will be back in her account tomorrow.  How scary I don't keep a lot of money in my Checking acct but my saving is set up to advance money if they checking runs dry that may not be a good idea.  It's actually safer to use your credit card for purchases like online, at gas pumps or any place where you insert your card...because if you contest a transaction they have insurance to protect you...this is what happened to me once. 

I used my credit card to buy gas for my little Mercury Tracer at a gas station in Brooklyn when I lived there.  My little car held about 8 gallons of gas, so like $12.  Then I got a telephone call from American Express asking me if I just purchased $650 worth of diesel fuel?? WHAT??? NO, so they had a good fraud team and this purchase was flagged...  SO they caught it and they refunded me, and sent me a new card.  Some guy had rigged up that pump with a card reader!! 

Another time my card was flagged and it was used in a Motel, for a Flower Order, and Room Service in Louisiana!! I got a call from a Police detective there!  A guy had been arrested in a Casino and in his pocket was a Ink copy of my Credit Card and he was using my card to pay for things!! This was back when credit cards were run on paper slips..I had reserved a motel for my husband and son they were in a fishing tournament in and staying in that motel! They were supposed to shred those carbon copies, so now they don't have those, but if someone is digging thru the trash they may find financial info in that trash. 

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The New York Times is breaking a story about how Trump paid $750 in Federal Income Tax! @years in a row....HOW is that possible...no wonder he is not willing to release his taxes, The feds have been looking into his haywire returns for years, he writes off millions in consulting fees, guess who his consult was? Ivanka his daughter! What exactly is her expertise?  Trump is broke, his whole wealth is a Ponzi scheme!  He OWES MILLIONS His investors now are  his beer bellied supporters! OMG can't they see what a hoax he is?  He says he is a Billionaire, so where's the billions? I think he needs to stay in office so he can keep billing secret service for staying at Mara Largo...he only donates 1/4 of his yearly salary in pretense of taking no money for his "service" to our country....gag...and yet 

On USA Today Fact Check:  This notion is misleading because Trump continues to profit off of real estate he owns or manages, despite lawsuits arguing that this violates the Constitution's emoluments clauses.

NOW funny his Washington hotel is losing $55 million and his overseas Hotels are making $75, million, where he does not PAY federal TAXES.   He said he was so liquid he did not need money at all he was rolling in money ALL LIES. 

 An old clip of Hillary was shown on the news when she said HE is not paying taxes, he said that makes me Smart. 
He said he pays Federal tax he paid some SS and Medicaid tax, and State tax that is not Income Tax!! 

So why does he get away with it?  I hope whether its 2021 or 2024 he ends up in JAIL for his crimes against this nation!! Either way he will be OUT by 2024 good riddence!! 

So you can bet Im watching the debate on Tuesday night!! So Mr huge successful business man is a LOSER I hope Joe rips him apart tomorrow. 

Nature day

ent birding!

Finally...since it cooled off I've had a lot of running around taking my son here and there and then chores of my own and even tho it threatened rain all day I spent the day out in Nature.  I mean I literally live in Nature...but I don't have a pond, or stream and that is what brings in more wildlife.  So I went first to Goodale park saw some nice birds then decided to go to Sandhill NWR...more good birds but the wildflowers and butterflies really had me mesmerized.  Best bird of the day 2 American Woodcock! They flushed before I could get a photo so I just watched them circle me and and get some good filed marks so I could make an ID.  It was so nice I did not see the River Otter tho...

There is a lot more color showing than I realized...right around me it's mostly pines so I didn't see how the hardwoods are already wearing fall colors. 

I saw only a hand full of people and they were in their cars...so good to get away from human contact for a while also. I heard something strange could have been a wildcat!  In fact I just pulled up a Youtube to hear what they sound like and that is def what I heard...it was not really close to me, but when I heard I knew that is not something I normally hear! It screamed twice...

I've seen them in the wilds before just never heard one make a sound! It's very harsh and deep sounding. 

MEG is short for Megalodon...an extinct huge shark...so the movie was like Jaws sort of...It was entertaining but not blow your socks off good, so I'd give it 3.5 stars outta 5.  We are supposed to watch a tubi movie at 6 tonight...I will let son pick as I don't care as long as it has no graphic sex I feel rather uncomfortable watching such as that with my SON! Hopefully a thriller or outdoor adventure my favorite genre. 

That stalker, said he thought Joe Biden was retarded...the one who asked me why did I hate Trump...omg.  OK he stumbled in the Democratic Debates a couple of times, he has had stuttering issues in the past so I will say his delivery was not impeccable, but his message has always been precise and in plain words and very understandable. The stalker said "may the best man win" omg, well there is only one  man in the race....the other is a fake!

Trump will of course only try to attack Biden, probably bring up any smut he can he probably has an entire team of Fox news people going through Joe's past like crazy madmen, and meanwhile Joe will just point out that Trump has NO platform. Trump will try to deflect by insulting Joe.  And it's a Fox "News" man who is mediating??? They are not real journalists!!  

My life insurance co sent me a letter saying my bank sent back the payment I had made to them I do it on the Insurance Company website...They never even ran it thru the bank...I checked! So the bank had nothing to do with it...My debit card is expiring in a couple days and the bank never sent me a new one they did the same thing last time it  expired. That had nothing to do with the insurance payment... So the insurance company didn't say a word just billing me now for 2 months...IS it me or does that seem fishy?  Never had one issue with it in 4 yrs time...then bam. 

Kind of a short post for your Monday. 

EATHER man was wrong again...

He said mostly sunny...never happened.  Oh well maybe tomorrow?  I headed to Walmart early to get spray paint to work on my bumper cover, running boards painting project.  It didn't come out as well I had hoped but it's better looking than it was and only $6 invested!

I going to miss Svengoolie tonight my son and I are watching The MEG looks pretty good in the trailer. I did the Redbox thing.  And I got some popcorn that does NOT have Palm Oil in it, has avocado oil.  I had a veggie burger and cole slaw for dinner.  

So I will have to let you know how the movie was in my next post.  This new Stalker keeps insisting on exchanging political debate..but he is stuck on issues that a President is not responsible for...he lives in CA so why doesn't he move?? Im stuck in a red state he is stuck in a blue state...His gripe is  he can't have a fire in his fireplace when he wants to cause it could start a wildfire! WELL it could so why in the world would that be an issue?? He needs to move is what I think.  CA is very liberal for the most part so I don't see that changing anytime soon, he said Urbanites seem to be running the show, well yeah TRUMP is really in touch with rural people NOT.....The only time he is outdoors is to play Golf! 

He asked me why do I hate Trump...first off I never wrote I hate anyone.  He said that...but I said.."If you can't see for yourself why I dislike Trump then there is no reason for me to try and explain it to you." honestly? And I pointed out Trump is not even an Urbanite, he is a High Rise Millionaire.  He doesn't even drive a car! 

His Supreme Court choice,Amy Barrett, 48 yrs old... has 7 children, Catholic, and Trump appointed her to the US  Appellate Court 7th Circuit... I have to wonder why he keeps appointing her?  She owns a gun, she does not support the death penalty, or abortion rights. That alone is a gross contradiction....Practices with a hand gun that is to KILL a human, and yet NOPE she don't want a death penalty or Abortions that's murder in her eyes?????? 
HYPOCRITE  

So I hope my response will satisfy his curiosity and he will stop sending me messages.  Tuesday night is the first Presidential debate you can bet I will be watching! Trump will declare he is the winner of the debate probably that same night...that's a given...Joe said: Trump is a liar and everyone knows it...that it's going to be one attack after the other cause Trump is not that smart! LoL...he is so right.  I don't know if the questions have been submitted ahead of time so Trump could study up on the facts but either way he will lie, twist, and accuse...we already know that. He has no platform...NO health care plan, No Education Plan, No Immigration Plan, no Plans to reunite us in the World Stage...

A Youtuber I watch is a backpacker/hiker.  She is on a quest to find herself.  She openly told us she has lived a sheltered life straight from her parental home to life with a husband.  And then after 14 yrs of marriage Divorce!  She was always with him hiking or her hiking club, and then after the divorce she moved back in with her parents for a year...then she quit her job, and did some European travel, took some mountaineering workshops and also took some Outdoor Survival courses and she decided to live in her CAR and travel and Be a YouTuber! Her aunt is also a Youtuber and lives in her truck camper and she backpacks too so they do trips together sometimes.   But now she has branched out on her own,..

She was hiking up Paradise Mountain in WA, In Rainier National Park. 

SO slowly she is now able to go on trips in the backcountry alone...she was hiking up Paradise mountain and when she got to the glacier ice she admitted she was scared...because she was alone, so she chose to turn back...she regretting it, but she felt unsure so I think when you are unsure you should listen to your inner voice.  She said she knew she was well equipped, she had the know how to do the hike, and she had the physical conditioning to do it.  She second guessed herself, she was not completely alone there was another group on the mountain...a large group so she could called for help.  BUT I completely understand.  

She decided that what happened is due to her lifetime of always being cautious...she is still coming from a place of "what if".  She has never been a risk taker...And I guess I was more of a risk taker when I was younger, now that Im older I am very aware of how breaking a bone can change my life take away my freedom and independence...so it is something to consider.   I have taken risk and I've erred on the side of caution, I think it's a personal choice we all must make in the moment.   

I sowed plenty wild oats on the leading edge of my time on the planet and so now I leave the big risks up to the ones younger than I.  We have to get out of our comfort zone from time to time at each chapter in our life...for sure in order to grow.  It has been very rewarding to watch that young lady grow in confidence and really come into her own as she reaches farther out each time growing in her independence and her self confidence. 

So when I hear this man complaining because he can't burn his fireplace when he wants to I have to wonder where is his self confidence?  So if it was me, I would buy one of those Gas burning logs, then I could have a fire when I wanted one!  There are work arounds, but you gotta use your noggin, and stop limiting yourself!  

Thats it for me today....

Just a Boring Friday!

ET day for us...

It's raining one minute and just humid as all get out the next.  Im tired of fighting this Blogger to get the font type and size I want so Im just going with the default! So many battles so little time..

So I had my bumper cover in the shed drying, after I spray painted it, and then came  all this rain, I ran out in between showers thinking it was over but then it started again so I had to run in and then the sun came out TALK about humidity it went up to 92% outside and 69% inside so I had to turn the AC back on. Took a shower and gave up for today.  It's rained off and on 4, 5, 6 different times now...So I just called, cancelled due to rain!

So Im inside trying to upload my lawn mower blade replace videos.  The reason I said trying is it takes so long... part 1 a bit over 5 mins, and it is going to be 1 hr and 10 mins to upload...then part 2 is about the same, I had to do it in 2 segments or I'd be fiddling with it for more than 2 hrs,  I got both parts uploaded.

I picked up another Stalker from the As I See It Live Chat...My comment was about the electoral college and how out of date it is, not only that, our entire voting system is! I am not a huge fan of mail in voting...to many variables just a long of list of "could happens".  BUT if that is the best option for most then we must make it more secure, by putting hefty penalties on any distribution fraud, collection fraud, etc.  any DELAY tactic such as we are seeing now and def a BS penalty!! I think the President of the USA should be fined for every lie he tells...make it Illegal for a President or Presidential Candidate to intentionally lie!!

Have you ever seen the movie or read the short story by Stephen King called "Quitter's Inc"? (the Night Shift Collection) The premise is this...a guy wants to quit smoking but he just can't seem to kick the habit..so he goes to the organization called Quitters Inc.  They guarantee success...98%

Well that's promising..so he goes along..

But then he slips and he sneaks out and has a cigarette...The Q-inc people follow him like secret agents from Mi-6.  They see him smoking they kidnap his dog  and put her in a room where the floor is electrified! She is jumping all over the place while they force him his wife and their young child to watch via a 2 way mirror.....This is his punishment for falling off the wagon, so he promises, never again...

BUT he is weak, this time it's his wife in the room getting shocked, but she is tied to a chair and handcuffed and it's all electrified!! And then finally he is able to stop smoking but then he is told if he gains weight they will cut off his wife's finger!! 
Then in the final scene the couple is having dinner with friends and when they raise their glasses in a toast his wife has missing fingers...lol 

Amazing and kinda creepy right?

So lets do that to Donald...if he lies while giving a press conference, then he should be sent to the room with the electrified floor!! AND Melania would probably loose all her fingers in the end..

Yes I have a morbid side...
My son fixed his broken washer Ca-Ching another $80 saved...and he has been doing laundry like a mad man..I see progress in him..:0)

I hope the weather is straight tomorrow cause I got things I need to get done! 

Friday is just a happening day it keeps getting closer and closer...soon every day will be Friday. 

You know what Busker's are correct? Living in NYC is buskers paradise, and I think I heard every kind of instrument from Chielo to 5 gallon buckets drum set,  harmonica, guitar, violin, fiddling, drums, tambourine, flute, sax, horn, French horn, harp, bag pipes, accordion, base fiddle, keyboard, xylophone, banjo, mandolin, home made instruments, glass jars, spoons, washboard, I could go on and on, and this is a daily thing on the sidewalk in the subway platforms and in the train cars! 

The ones I did not like were the Mariachi Bands.. Just can't take it...so especially on Saturday the doors would open and in walks a 4 piece Mariachi Band...OH NO..and in full costume.  I would actually leave that car and go to another car...sometimes you could hear them into the next car...lol 

 BUT this took the cake...one day an entire troupe of acrobats got on the train and were flipping down the middle of the car and using the grab poles to flip up and around swing and slide and do otherwise amazing moves!! OMG 

And then the women with kids in strollers...OMG see the proper way to get on and off a train car is to stand back on the platform and wait for everyone who is exiting then you enter...but women with strollers seem to think they take precedence over everyone!! The door opens and In Pushes a stroller tangling up everyone's feet!! And sometimes the stroller has a French Poodle in it...Ta-da... 

Stand Clear of the Closing Doors .....and the acrobats, the babies, and the poodles!

DeCoding it all...

ENT AND BOUGHT A USED CAR...

With my son of course, we are a close family in that we help each other in time of need.  If family is not there in your time of need then possibly you've got self centered people in your inner circle!  If you don't want to help your adult child in a time of need than don't, however don't put me down because I do!  I have had people tell me, it's not my job to help my adult child...HELL my Mom helped me when I  needed some help...we are not birds who push the kid out of the nest...then say SEE YA! 

My Grandmother at one time had 3 generations living at her farm, we all worked together to make a life for ourselves, each one benefitted in some way.  When Mom was still with us, My Son used to sit with her one day a week so we could get a break from the care giving.  He sat with her in the hospital, they were great friends when she was a vibrant grandmother.  He was one of her Pall Bearers.  He also did dog sitting for Jimmy when he was here...he helps me cut wood, he helps me with various jobs around the place when he could...we have NOT always seen eye to eye and that is probably not going to change but, Family Lives Matters!! 

We expect our children to take care of us when we get old and have dementia, so if that is the case, THAT'S A HELL OF A LOT of work, money, and emotional involvement.  My mom provided for me till I was about 16 then I left home...I took care of her in the role as caregiver for 13 yrs! So don't turn your back on  your kids unless you want them to turn their back on  YOU in your time of need.  You find out they have cancer do you walk out? NO you step up.  I am a firm believer in families being strong and staying connected as best they can. 

Family life decoded...

So we found a car we haggled the Trump supporter down to the budget we had and saved $1500 on the purchase price!  We did have to pay almost $300 in sales tax...I used to have a tax number when I was in business and as long as I used that vehicle in my business I  was exempt from that.  But not this time...Any way we got a 2003 Toyota Highlander in very good condition.  My son should get good use for a long time if he takes care of it.
The Zen of buying a used car decoded!

The price we paid is twice what I paid for my Van, and I have had it and been driving it since 2011.  And speaking of my van I'm painting the bumper cover.  It is so oxidized and it looks horrible. I took a look at some of the "Plastic restore" products but I decided to just use regular spray paint!  I sprayed it and it's drying I will put it back on tomorrow.  

 Tuesday was The Way I See it Live Chat on You Tube, so we discussed how the passing of Justice Ginsburg is going to impact this nation.  The one thing about it that bothers me most is the idea of how Trump keeps on about "they are mailing out illegal ballots." OK there's states that were mailing out ballots when he ran LAST time didn't stop him getting elected.

SOME States have chosen to use Vote By Mail as their preferred method!  Colorado, Hawaii, Oregon, Utah and Washington. There has been no issue, NOW he acts like ALL the states are mailing ballots, but they are not they are mailing APPLICATIONS for a ballot! I got the application and I did not send it back for a ballot cause I'm going to vote in person. 

Donald has already said..."the court is going to get involved because they are mailing out all these illegal ballots." Remember when I told you he doesn't make these ridiculous statements for nothing he is already setting the stage for this election to be contested, and with HIS brand new Justice sitting there and a WOMAN as he said, well there you go...I imagine he will think she OWES him something...such as LOYALTY which he expects from anyone who he appoints... And the Supreme Court could HAVE to decide the election! 6 to 3??

Donald's crooked plan decoded!!

Barr will follow and do whatever Trump says he is another major crook.  So that is the way he intends to try and WIN should things not go the way he thinks it should.  Trump refused to say there would be a smooth transition of power in January! 

From Vanity Fair:

President Trump: "Get rid of the ballots and we'll have a very peaceful — there won't be a transfer, frankly. There will be a continuation."

SEE HE IS SAYING THERE WILL BE NO TRANSFER OF POWER A CONTINUATION!! But McConnell said there will be an Inauguration in January for the winner of the election. People BOO'D Trump at Justice Ginsburg viewing outside the Supreme Court today...

Yesterday in Louisville, KY only one officer stands charges for the murder of Breonna Taylor, the other 2 were not charged when the Grand Jury failed  to see enough evidence to charge them.  So riots and protests broke out and 2 police were shot.  They both will live.  Ok this is the issue I take over the cops shooting citizens, it took 6 months to even get this Grand Jury to make this decision...to get any justice for Breonna, shot dead by 3 cops while she slept in her own home!  AND still none of the evidence has  been released to the public for transparency..
AND Yet Yesterday this:

LOUISVILLE, Ky. —
A suspect is in custody after two Louisville Metro police officers were wounded in a shooting Wednesday evening downtown.
He's been identified as Larynzo Johnson.  He's charged with 14 counts of wanton endangerment on police officers and two counts of assault on a police officer.  As of Thursday, his bond has not been set and he won't be arraigned until Friday.

ALREADY in one day they have arrested, charged, and he will be arraigned Friday! It took only one day not 6 months.  So you see the wheels of justice are not the same wheels when it's a cop doing the shooting that is my issue, hold them accountable!! 
Cop killer or killer cop? decoded

Back to Gregg Braden again, he was discussing the human form and the ability of speech...so what if a virus is how we came to be human and not Neanderthal...He said science has found no missing link...as I said I believe in the Ancient Alien theory!  But recall when Zika Virus was causing the births of children with small heads and therefore small brains? A virus inserted into a host that virus got into the Genetic code of the baby forming inside and it created a completely different human life form!!!!!!!

So it is possible, that a virus invaded Neanderthal, and got into the Genetic Code of babies being born and they were more intelligent, more upright, Like US! So I am no scientist...My son has a degree in  biology And when I talked to him about it, he said it is Very possible, that could happen.   So I have a theory...So what if we and all our abilities, such as speech, walking up right, opposable thumbs, mutated into a new life form...like the Zika Babies.  

Im calling it the Sondra Theory deCoding...lol

What else is going on?...Jimmy got his cone off and goes back in 4 weeks...so he is on the right road to a bright future.
This week is almost over...tomorrow Friday AGAIN!

Don't compete, cooperate!

hat is going on?

Speaking of being at a place Im in a terrible place spiritually, emotionally and mentally this week.  Just the fact that I thought Sunday was my birthday...it's not it's on Wednesday a week from now.  I had put my calendar back to August to check something and forgot to put it back to September! 

My Spiritual is my connection to the world around me.

My Emotional is what comes out.

My Mental is how I perceive things around me.

SEM -unbalanced!

I can only hope that I am able to boot strap myself out of it! I think it's a combo of things, ...I'm not centered in the beauty I know exists all around me, I am allowing a lot of negative emotions and worry to take over, like anger, sadness, and depression, and disappointment caused by the mental expectations.  I'm not sleeping well due to run away thinking. 

A lot of this is due to my son's situation currently, 
I see this image of a man
Standing in a deep well...a shaft of light can reach his upper body and a rope is hanging over the edge of the rock wall all he has to do is reach up and grasp it, and yet the shaft of light glints off the scissors in his hand as he reaches up to cut the rope!! Not what one expects!

Then my upcoming birthday without Mom...and my roof is leaking, and the mountain of fear in politics these days!! 

All those things keep me up at night...I recognize all of this and so Im trying to work my way out of this frame of mind I have fallen into. 

So I pulled up Youtube and watched another post from the Guru Gregg Braden to try and help me focus my energy in another direction.  He is talking about how we must not think the virus is going away that our future will be like our past it will not.  Hanging onto an expectation is not healthy for us as we all know! 

He says:
Who are we but  the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves and believe? Even the way we vote is part of our story...
Humans always ask: Who are we Where do we come from Why are we here and How do we solve our problems to move forward. 

What if we embrace  being a human it will tell us what we need to do, where we come from, and why we're here!  We are taught to believe we are so flawed that we can not accomplish a higher level without the inventions of man...We reproduce machines to do what we do already.  We are such a magnificent being we already perform some amazing tasks...NO robot can duplicate what we can do!!

Darwin said we're a fluke of biology...competing factors brought us into being, but what if we use cooperating factors instead of competing factors to describe our story?  

When we live in cooperation with nature we flourish...

Nature gives us only what we need to survive, so that means we don't need a 3 rd arm---yet---- if we did...evolution would provide us with one.  When people are born with a 3rd arm they are considered mutations? BUT we humans did not evolve into what we are we came this way day one!! So as we live on this planet our environment, and the things in it could be changing us...we don't know that it is not..Im pretty sure it is.  

Gregg pointed out there is a gene called the FOXP2...this is why we have the power of speech and NO other primates have this ability...they do communicate with a "speech' of sorts...but not like ours which evolved into languages, written and verbal..so WHAT if, 

Recall when I told you about CRISPR and it splices DNA and duplicated it and then enzymes or proteins change this DNA into RNA and it becomes a messenger to repair or replace when something has gone haywire in our DNA? Like when a virus enters our body...well what if these wonderful things about being a HUMAN are actually put there due to Viruses??

So by my thinking is challenged and now I feel better, and not only that but Its cool enough that I baked a gluten free pizza..and put my own veggies on it...so Im looking forward to it. I hope it comes out perfect. Why would I bake my pizza for one hr in a 600 degree oven?  Im gonna cooperate with the instructions and bake it at 450 for 15 mins!!

State of mind...

HATS IN THE NEWS TODAY?




NY TIMES GRAPH
I read the updates in my NY Times email this morning and I saw a couple of things I just wanna share...

So Trump has been going around on TV and in rallies saying we beat the virus, his response was perfect, he did everything perfect, and we will have a vaccine probably on Nov 2nd...etc all hogwash as 200,000 dead souls could attest too.  It is simply a hoax his RESPONSE I mean not the virus...the virus is NOT going anywhere it is here to stay we have to learn to live with it.  Seriously it's not going away why would it? It still has plenty of places to reproduce and so it lives on...check out that graph... and def check JAPAN, now there is a nation with a handle on this virus..the virus has started to resurge with the allowances of crowds in USA and Europe..

Amazing right?  And the stock market dropped yesterday...meanwhile according to the Daily Beast  A conservative troll was right in DR Fauci's  ranks and is now resigning...he has been spewing lies on Conservative HATE sights online, glad he was found out!  The article calls him a Red State Troll...lol very appropriate...how much damage people like him cause...and another thing I read and this is something I wondered about back then during the Mueller investigation some of his people didn't dive into Trumps financials as deeply as they should have because they feared they would be fired or retribution of some kind would be put upon them from Trump. 

Manhattan District Attorney now says he has grounds for investigation of Trump and tax fraud, so if he loses the race I hope they move on this, the Golden Cow will take a dump at his door, and those who have been lying for him and covering up for him will fall away like pawns in a chess match. 

RBG will lay in State at the Capitol the first woman given this honor,  I hope not the last.  She said when there is 9 woman on the Supreme Court then it's enough...lol but there is good and bad women too, recall Sarah Palin what ever happened to her... OH she became a Fox News  Mouth Piece I do believe...and her husband of 30 yrs divorced her!

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This Sunday is my birthday...me, Roy Rodgers, and Jesus. I opened up the Mailbox today to Birthday cards!! Pretty good should have cheered me right up..but *sigh*...

I guess I will go visit mom Sunday at the cemetery, I just can't bare not being close to her we always celebrated our 3 birthdays together...Me the 29th, My sis on Oct 1, and Mom on the 4th of OCT this is why I can't imagine having a birthday and she is not part of that..it's just not fair...

it's beautiful outside today I'm planning to have a quick breakfast then take my walk and later there is a tree that feel not a big tree Im going to saw up for my wood pile.  And Im planning to clean up the new parts we had put on the car and if they clean up good I will return them.  Still basically brand new! 

Later....I cleaned up the parts I think they will pass muster! 

I did a little mowing, It been cool and sunny and bright but my mood was anything but I really need to get away and just reconnect with some inner peace. Find my center it's in here somewhere.  

I don't like dealing with other people's stuff but sometimes when you're a parent or a sister or whatever you have to.  
I had this really weird thought...I was on the mower and I thought hmmm If I bungee cord a couple of  gas cans to the back I could just drive away and never look back and that is the place my mind is at today. Just drive from gas station to gas station, and then when I got all the way to the west coast turn around and come back...sort of like Forest Gump when he started to run.  

I guess it's possible to completely mess up your own peace while you try to help someone else get their shit together.  I swear this is how I felt inside when I told my x bff that I could no longer be her cheerleader while she did nothing but moan and complain about her situation...I felt overwhelmed, hopeless, and confused. 

Last night I didn't sleep a wink past 3:30 am I tossed turned, read my old journals I've been doing that for a week, I want to re live some of the good times...then I watched  you tube on my phone, tried to watch some tv, all from bed, and did doze back off at 7 am for an hr then I was up by 8...so I feel exhausted, overwhelmed, hopeless and confused. 

Somedays are diamonds some days are stones....

Where's the Proof?

ill the electoral college screw us again?

It seems they lean very heavily to the right doesn't it? Who said they are bi-partisan?? They are not and should be done away with. A list of their names should be released, do you know we are not even privy to that info....how can we protest outside their homes?...why should they be able to hide away they have a very big role in our lives we deserve to know who they are, where they live etc...How is it we have this "secret society"  who are calling the shots?  It's completely archaic. 

This idea was created in 1787 the Constitutional Congress was too afraid to let the people actually vote and elect a President thinking they were not smart enough to do it! And they didn't want Congress to Appoint a leader, because DUH...so they put in this ridiculous FAKE election to make us THINK we elect the President...and then since the South had most of the money due to the Value of land and crops they were in control of the Congress and it became about Slavery.  

But determining exactly how many electors to assign to each state was another sticking point. Here the divide was between slave-owning and non-slave-owning states. It was the same issue that plagued the distribution of seats in the House of Representatives: should or shouldn’t the Founders include slaves in counting a state’s population?

So this is why the Census is so important and why Trump even tried to stop that from being accurate...stop the mail stop the census and the vote...Do you know there have been bills brought up to abolish the EC for years...SO Why do we still have them??? Until we have a more liberal society they will continue we are still under the control of the Jim Crow southern coalition and until people like McConnell, Graham, Cruz are gone this old Nationalists way of life continues.  All this debate over mail in voting and in the end this small group of 270 people will decide!! That is not a democratic vote.  

Talk about mind hacking see we've been led to believe all this time that its "part of our fair process" there is nothing fair about it! It has to be changed...

So the car is gone to the Salvage Yard it won't be crushed it will be sold as spare parts in a you pull it yard.  They picked it up free and we got $200 bucks for it.  We are already looking for a car and test drove one today.  Having a car is the BIGGEST cost to modern life..

in my estimation. Add up all the cars, repairs, gasoline, licensing, insurance, etc  you have spent on having a car in your life over your life time and I  think you will be shocked! And if you're a 2 car family...double all that!

While in this used car business the woman who was behind the desk is the wife of the man she said has the last say on everything there...so I'm not even sure  how it got to the statement she made that the election is going to bring on Mass Protests...So I said well if Trump wins I will be out there protesting.  She was shocked she said Biden will ruin this country!  So I asked how so...she could not tell me why she believed that.  I told her I knew Trump was a lying SOB...and that's all I needed to know about him. 

So she simply believes Trumps lies and fake statements about how Joe's America will be a lawless Sodom and Gomorrah society? But she could not tell me why she believes that, no facts to back it up....so I answered my own question, "Because Trump says so?" 
NOW he is trying to get a female Hispanic in for the Supreme Court and snag up  the loyalty of  Latino voters!  

Lindsey Graham is being protested right now at his DC home because he said There would not be a Last minute Judge selection:

There were speeches, chants, homemade drums and a recording of Graham from 2016 saying the next president should choose the nominee playing over a loudspeaker:

“If there’s a Republican president (elected) in 2016 and a vacancy occurs in the last year of the first term, you can say Lindsey Graham said, ‘Let’s let the next president, whoever it might be, make that nomination.’” 

He said he is ON RECORD saying this, he said that himself. 
SO NOW he is back peddling!!

I need to get through this week, Im under a lot of stress and I need a break from it.  I want my simple life of birds, deer, and butterflies to return.  

Weapons of influence?

AITING ON THE DUST TO SETTLE...

I have been at it all day...meaning busy.  One thing upset me well more than one but this one really hurt.   I saw another bird with ONE eye really bad he is currently not catchable.  Poor thing. We have at least one hummingbird hanging around saw her today at the rose bush getting some nectar from the flowers...she should be packing by Oct 1st. 

About 9 I took a walk around the block, so nice and cool it was in the 50's this morning and the high today in the cool breezy 70's Perfect weather.  Would be a little chilly for the beach but perfect for around the homestead.  

After my walk it was breakfast, then I had to drive to the nearest gas station and get gas for the mower.  I've been driving around with the jug in my van for a week, and even when I gassed my van up I didn't think to fill the jug.  I've had a lot on my mind this week!!

Back home by 11:30 and we started the yard work at noon, I hope that's the last time for cutting it but it may not be...depends on if it warms up at all...we generally allow that grass in the front yard at Mom's to get a little higher it helps with the erosion problem. 

I spent the afternoon playing with the dogs and grooming them, cut their nails and brushed their coats, Annie had some sap on her foot so I cleaned that off, and they are fed I had a late lunch so I plan to have a salad later ,and of course a shower...I have dust all over me from riding the mower on a breezy day.  I did not try the bagger, because I have not assembled it or attached it to the mower that is a project right there.  

Can you believe I feel asleep in the middle of Svengoolie, I was just so sleepy I could not hold open my eyes I did try...really bummed about that.  

2 weeks after the Harley Rally in South Dakota 369 new cases, they don't care so why should we? Their Governor should be in jail for not protecting her citizens...she in fact tells them to NOT wear masks...Evil bitch is how I see her.  One guess oh yes she is a Trumper!

Ok Im on purpose not checking Facebook, I can almost hear the deep unrest without even clicking on it...I just want this year to go away, just end Dec 31'st can't get here quick enough But honestly I said the same thing last year.  
So PBS had this special about Hacking the Mind.  They explained how Trump was elected and HOW the  Russians interfered in the 2016 election.  Its all algorithms.   See Bannon has this company called Cambridge Analytical.  I told you he was instrumental in creating Brexit. He used this same method to accomplish that. 

AND Facebook is very much responsible for Trump being elected...So here is how they did it...Bannon's company's altho they didn't come right out and Steal Your personal info they bought it!! Yes in the USA it's not illegal for social media corporations to sell you personal info.  Banks do it, your creditors do it, your Internet providers do it, your search engines do it...your cell phone companies do it... the list goes on and on.  

So they put out a few posts to stir up people's emotions, once they peg hole all of us based on what we do online, like how the middle class is being left behind, how Hillary is not going to help the middle class and how Trump is not a politician and he will drain the swamp etc...So they tracked the likes, the shares, the area where  the people who liked those posts, they track their profiles, and then they Start to bombard those profiles with ALL news Trump...that created this huge following and they direct your thinking, hijacking your mind.

And meantime the Russians did the same thing by posting negative Hillary ads, and this is how they Hack the Mind of people. I think I'm going to stop using Facebook...because it's highly dangerous...
I may not have all the details correct on how they did it so give this a listen...You don't have to watch it just listen to it while you do something else...in  A different tab.  Hacking Your Mind Weapons of Influence.  We care more about losing than winning! This is an excellent look at how we are being manipulated by Corporations!  The political discussion of the video is in the last section of the video. 

The whole idea of investing in the stock market is BS.  I will never get that one.  Only the very wealthy who can afford to lose should be investing! YET everyone is now in the stock market?? Why?  We are so bombarded by Marketing it is ruling the lives of many.  I am not a consumer, I buy food and the things I have to have...but I do not go out and just check in stores to see what's in there.  I go in for socks I come out with socks!

...the new guy who bought the 7 acres on my north boundary is fencing his piece in...I hope it' anything but goats...or pigs...goats are noisy and pigs stink...I hope it's just for dogs, he has no house there yet so kinda weird...the deer won't be happy. 

I planted a row of Eastern Cedar Trees to create a Privacy wall when the land went up for sale, some of the trees are finally beginning to grow...HOPE they really take off and get bigger this year, so I can't see what he is doing!!

Good fences as you know make good neighbors...so we'll see. For the record, I do not buy extended warranties...do you? That is fear of losing...when they ask me at the store I normally tell them "NO worries if it breaks I'm bringing it back here for a refund!!" 

Ok time for a shower and some dinner.  

Bad to Worse...

HEN it rains it pours

How many times have you said that?

  Well the car is a bust literally the motor is shot 

Last night my son was on the way to his gym to work out but decided to stop by where he hopes to be working soon to make sure they received his online paperwork part of the hiring process...When he came out his car would not start...he had some help from different guys going in and out of the store but no one could get it going...So he called me...we tried and we could hear this Metal Hitting metal Sound down in the lower right side near the firewall...basically it's the cylinder and the engine is cracked and oil is leaking out!! So I brought him home and the rest is history.  BUT we cant have it moved till Monday...I tell you I have never seen someone's life come unraveled so quickly as this ever before!! 

Monday he will sell it for scrap it's too old to put the kind of money into it that it would cost to make the engine right and it has many other issues, the AC won't work, the heat doesn't work, it has body damage on the front bumper and fender, it needs suspension work and the list is endless...All the interior plastic is so brittle  broken all across the top the radio won't work, none of the dash cluster works, 

As I said the car has 400,000 miles and is 19 yrs old.  My van is also 19 yrs old and has 300,000 miles...

Im not going to get into the Politics today because its just too hard a pill to swallow  one day after Justice Ginsburg's passing...I will say I thought what McConnel had to say about how the Senate will confirm a replacement before she was even cold was just that, COLD. Heartless man. I would really like to know WHAT his game is??? What is he getting out of the ruination of a nation???? He sits there with over 205 bills collecting dust on his desk that he never brought to a vote and Im pretty sure you can see Obama's Supreme Court Justice pick who never was vetted in that stack...thanks to McConnell blocking it!! He must be getting huge KickBacks from somewhere??

I know I promised you a run down on Svengoolie, so click that link and you can read about Dr. Cyclops coming up tonight....I haven't seen it yet it starts in about 2 hrs, it sounds pretty thrilling, a jungle, some weird characters, and some kind of experiment that makes people shrink!! I can't wait to see it. 

I took son to Walmart he had planned to do his food shopping today so I'm back to driving him around since we had to mail  his license off to the SSA.  It was delivered according to the tracking number now we wait! I found a copy of this birth cert so I hope his new employer will accept that if they give him his schedule before the card arrives back.  According to the  website a proof of employment eligibility is one of 3 documents. A SS card, A Passport or an official birth certificate.  

Tomorrow we plan to do yardwork, my son and I.  Normally I do all the grass cutting at mom's house because I've been doing it for 13 yrs and it's something I enjoy doing... but since he is not working he has to help so he said he would do the edging, the hedges, and pick up the cones etc and I can ride the mower...So that's the plan.  I enjoy riding the mower it's a chance to just let my mind wander while my body does the autopilot thing. 
 
It took me an hour to get my bird feeders in order from all the rain the ports were clogged with wet seed so had to take each  one down and use a stick to rake out the seed and refill them.  I have 5 squirrel proof seed feeders.  I have not seen a hummingbird for a few days now I think they left early! I can hear the birds outside now getting their last seeds of the day.

It's cool today I have a blanket over me as I sit here typing it's just that chilly!!  Annie is yawning on the carpet, Flossie is still out in the  yard laying under a bush...and we have all had our evening meal, I made myself a veggie burger on Ciabatta with some fries done in the oven...pretty good.  I got the girls a treat some frozen precooked meatballs.  They really enjoyed.   
Another Saturday is done.

Who messed with the calendar?

eekend!

...again 😲

Friday 18th

Is it me, or is it you?  Somebody is flipping the pages on my calendar pretty fast.  WE had so much rain yesterday from the remains of hurricane Sally, if not for the sandy soil I'd be floating right about now.  The clouds keep coming and going, there was a wee drizzle earlier when I went to get a few supplies.

A Marshalls store opened here last fall I've never been in it but I just had to have some socks.  I also checked for some ladies underwear.  OK, how are we supposed to wear that?? First off those look like they are only to worn by strippers, hookers, and skanks.  Excuse my slang...Seriously??? Where is the grown up woman underwear?? I guess I'll have to sew up my own.  Just can't find any thing I've been looking for a year...meanwhile the ones I have are wearing out!! Im thinking drawstring, yes wonderful idea.

I'm wearing my painting underwear.  NO I don't paint in my underwear, but once while I was painting some of the paint apparently got on my pants and soaked right thru to the underwear and of course that did not come out when I washed it..so I tossed them in with my "painting wardrobe" it's complete now! I have a long sleeve paint shirt, short sleeve paint shirt, a tank top paint shirt, 2 pair of painting shorts, one pair of painting sweats, one painting hoodie, one painting jacket, and one pair of paint socks and underwear!! Years of painting has given me this wardrobe, it has it's own drawer!! I do not however have a painting swimsuit...hmmm
I really can't find all the purchase points that I require to satisfy a purchase! 

But I found some socks! Hope they fit haven't tried 'em on yet....will they squeeze my toes? Hate that...will I feel the toe seam?  Will they be tight at the top? I am just as picky about socks, they have to be soft, cushy, and a dark color cause I will end up doing yard work with them on and if they are not black or grey then they will be when Im done! So I found a pack that is supposed to wick away moisture...hmm so we'll see. 

So tomorrow is Saturday, which means as you read this it's Saturday...You know what that means... Svengoolie.  I know it's ridiculous that I look forward to that.  I will give you a run down on Sunday's post...I  require simple things in my life, the simpler the better, give me easy or give me death...not quite that devoted to it, but if it's not KISS, I just can't be bothered...

Trust me my life has become so narrow...it takes almost nothing to please me or upset me.  My toast burns Im like pisst for the entire day...I read or see something amusing Im like happy as a lark for hours! Hear one thing to make me angry and I am angry for months!!

NARROW, yes narrow focus, narrow mind, the shrinking of a mind...

Because I get a brain alarm when it gets too challenging..
OH NO don't make me really think, not today maybe tomorrow.  
I texted my son and told him I ordered the lid switch for the broken washing machine...and I told him I could talk him thru the repair...he didn't answer me...I think I just threw his brain switch.

OH have to toss in this story...We bought chains for our car when we were going on a ski trip...back in 1987...So the sales person asked my husband, "you want me to demo how you put them on?"....My husband thought a moment  twisted his mouth to the side, then replied...
"NO, my wife can figure it out."

OKAY I didn't really know how to take that,  he said it as he walked away from the salesman...with the box of chains in his hand...

And then the salesman looked at me, and asked..."you want a demo?" "NOPE", I strolled out behind my husband...see...it's all about confidence, not knowledge..

I did a free IQ test...I scored at 126..Just above average which is 85-114....I wanted to Score Brilliant...damn. So it was fun to figure out and some I just guessed on. 

When you do yours, let me know what you got...and if you score brilliant or super genius, can you then tell me why I have to type so many ellipsis.......? Because I am pretty sure it has something to do with it. 

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I want to see all those red hats lined up to take the "vaccine' the one Trump is pushing...if they DONT then I have to call FOUL...they won't wear a mask which the CDC says works better than the vaccine will...I seriously will not take it, I guess they will have to sit on my neck!

Canada is saying NO the border is remaining closed...I think they should open it Nov 4th...JIC. They could open one gate and call it the "never trumper" entrance.

One of the former "Covid Task Force" members, Troye is now a whistle blower...and Pence says "she's a disgruntled employee." She left of her own accord, she wanted OUT of that situation, so it stands to reason if she was happy with the way things were going she would not have left in the first place...She has been there since Bush...so yes, but that does not mean she is not telling it exactly as it was.  She said in the meetings sometimes Trump was more worried about how some Fox news reporter had handled Trump news than about the virus updates during Task Force Meetings!! 

I saw Bob Woodward interviewed on PBS last evening he once again said he felt strongly that Putin had "something" on Donald, some sort of bad dirt, must be something completely atrocious...And that is why he has done nothing but play up to Putin since 2016.  

And this story is puzzling...
the Attorney General of South Dakota who was driving back from a Republican Fundraiser (and swears he only drank a coke) HIT something on his way home, he thought a Deer...OK, now why didn't he look for the deer?? He said he called 911 but no details have been released of any call so far...THE Sheriff... arrived and surveyed the damage to his car loaned him a car and he went home...

...then he went BACK the following day and found the body of a MAN he had, hit and run, killed and then he reported it to the SAME sheriff..SO since when does a 911 call bring only THE sheriff to the scene of an accident?  Normally that is highway patrol, first responders, ems, etc...this whole thing sounds very fishy! 

And A federal judge in Washington State blocked the changes put in place by DeJoy for 14 states who filed to stop him...this link shows the confusion which he caused by his "updates"  now unless these mail sorters are put back in place, the damage is permanent!  If you open the links I provide using  incognito, (right click open tab incognito) it will stop all the sign ups forms pop ups. 

Special Report:
I had to come back tonight before this post goes to Press so to say, and proclaim my dismay and sadness at the passing of 💔Ruth Bader Ginsburg.  She was the heartbeat of the Supreme Court.  Now this Presidential Race has become a race for the next 25 or 30 years of this Nations growth and personal freedoms.  ALL Democrats MUST show up to vote, and we have to encourage our House to STALL AS THE SENATE DID FOR OBAMA.  I express my sympathy to her family and my thanks for her years of devotion and service to this Country. 

 

 

Enter at Your Own Risk

Ho is Karen?

I have a first cousin named Karen, she is a decent person so I'm sure this kinda makes her uncomfortable.  Once again when I turn the tv on in the evening to see my local evening news, I see the tail end of Dr Phil..today he is talking about this new phenomenon Karen,  where a White Female calls the cops over something "she" sees as Not Happening in Her Neighborhood...like the white lady who called the cops on an African American man birding in Central Park, who also was strangling her dog while she was at it...OMG check this out and see what I mean about the dog..

So the list goes on, a white women who call the cops on a Latino man who was painting Black Lives Matter on his front lawn..it's actually a stereotypical word for A behavior..  
More and more this happens...entitled white privilege for the upper income bracket white supremacy.  Put me in a room with 15 whites and 2 Blacks I go stand near the Blacks because I feel safer and I assume they are not of the conservative persuasion.  So call me a racists I suppose, because I don't prefer conservatives....but it has a lot to do with demographics as discussed in the last post. 

Now dig this...the last job I worked was a family run business, a couple of these Karen's describes the women, and the knee on the neck type describes the males in this family. A husband, wife, and grown daughter, and son.  All white all conservative, Christian, all not the kind of people I want to spend time with...When they got ready to hire another lady they actually hired a black lady I was so happy cause the only other employee was another Karen, not related to the owners.  Before they hired the "new" lady I used to sit out back of the building and eat my bag lunch alone rather than try to spend time with any of them.  

BUT then magik the new lady and bonded right away we had so much in common, she became my friend and I hers...we hung out after work, we gave each other rides, we got to know each others history and we got along so good we could laugh and joke and it felt so good to have someone around me who I understood and we were in alignment and I didn't have to worry I would say the wrong thing!! 

All these Karen's and their men were armed! Yes they had guns on their person's not the Head Karen she kept hers behind the counter.  This "shop" was on a sidewalk street just off main street in my town.  And for some more background story there is a city park on the West side of town which strangely enough was a migration from the South end of town..meaning the poor and impoverished moved from the South end of town to the West side of town..>PUSHED there is a more appropriate description, by the Town Council when they decided that the South end of town which brings visitors off the interstate highway to the town should not be made up of run down homes, and people sitting on their stoops, and little black kids playing in the street.

So the city went about buying up the real estate, homes, parks, and anything they didn't like, ripping them down and beautifying that end of town. The African Americans and  low income whites were pushed to the West side of town where a small subdivision's value dropped when whites who had lived there all migrated back up north following the Dupont chemical company.  These small homes now within the financial reach of lower incomes.  Then low income apartments were built, and the wast side motels went to monthly rentals when the last generation sold out..Even the Grocery store that was on that end of town closed it's door and now that shopping center is boarded up and closed!!

This West side park is the work place of an entrepreneur..an older Black man who carves walking sticks.  He carves right in the park, sits on a bench and whittles away and he has a whole stack of sticks for sale.  See him there most all the time...not in the past couple years he may not be of good health now I do not know.  But his occurred in 2012. 

He was always friendly always smiling, and pleasant.  Sometime he had a dog with him.  On occasion he will bring  his art into town and try to sell to individuals...so one day he entered this place where I worked..it has an open layout in one of the historic buildings of the original downtown which dates back to the early and mid 1800's. It used to be part of an old general store so big open floor plan.  There was work tables lined up and down but we were all basically in one room...so he entered I recognized him immediately he had 2 walking sticks with him..

I saw my "boss" walk up to the main counter  and she placed her  hand over her gun...the loaded pistol she kept on the second shelf within easy reach.  Here is this "Karen" all smiles asking may I help  you?? I'm sure he flet perfectly safe speaking to this little dainty woman with auburn hair and blue eyes...but little did he know.  Most of our clientele is other well to do Karens' mostly of the wealthy wives of insurance company execs, Real Estate and Timber Barons, and wealthy race horse farm owners.  In fact this boss told me she decides what she will charge someone, high, medium or low estimate, by how they are dressed and what they drive when they pull up to the store front. 

So here is this extremely polite man who entered slowly and with an open smile on his face, he had a backpack on and she was standing there with her hand poised down below the top of the counter just above her gun..I saw this whole scenario lining up so I had been talking to her just prior to his entrance with a pair of scissors in my hand...so I moved to directly  beside her....and focused my attention to her hand and back n forth to the man who entered...See we were a fabrication shop and I used scissors as part of my job,,,,I'm not talking little paper cut scissors I'm talking 14 inch Shears...BIG jobs.

So I knew what she was up to and I had it in my mind if she went for the gun I was gonna slam my scissors over her hand and stop her from doing something STUPID. I was ready to act immediately...the man asked was anyone interested in purchasing a hand carved walking stick...and of course she answered no, I smiled at him and shook my head no I just wanted him to leave asap...he was in great danger.  

My new lady friend was about 10 ft behind us at her work table, was basically holding her breath...as this was a tense situation this unsuspecting man had walked into...simply because of his skin color, his race, his size, and his income bracket.  He thanked her kindly and turned to leave, my boss never knew why I stood there ready she most probably figured I was about to defend her if need be and I would have had he been an actual attacker, but this goes to show HOW things get out of hand and get misconstrued. She saw a large black man enter her store with 2 sticks, I saw the carver from the park.  The park Im sure she has never even turned a head to look at. 

You may not realize how many of this type paranoid people are out there waiting to pounce on you just because you're in a place that they feel you don't belong! 

I despised that family and couldn't wait till I did not have to work there anymore when I fell and broke both my wrists and was unable to return to work since my left wrist was pretty much toast for next 3 years. I quit that job a week after I feel! She is still there in business and I'm sure she has an semi-auto by now.  

Beware of Karen she is out there with mind already made.