Day 29

ILLING BUT NOT ABLE...
The cardiac issue Im having has been keeping me pretty much from doing what I want to do.  I tried to cut some wood, my heart was skipping beats every other one, and I got exhausted...the cold air was making me couch till I choked, and finally I gave up.  

I tried to pick up some of the many limbs that feel in the ice strom 2 weeks ago, it took me an hour just to get one pile moved and it was most all small stuff...again with the A-fib, flutter...OK I know what you're thinking--- go to the Doctor...well I may have to.  My x husband had a fib,  many years.,.but I believe mine is related to a faulty valve.  

I really don't know I just don't want to get on the medical revolving door...but I think if it continues I will ask for a beta blocker, metoprolol to help with BP.  

Im trying to avoid processed foods,  sugars, and salt, no chips or other snacks and got lots of fruit and cashews unsalted for snacking this week.  Im still only using a bit of bread compared to what I was doing.  As soon as the cold air moves on which is gonna be this week I will start doing block walks again...and just keep trying.  Sometimes Afib can not be controlled but yesterday it got so bad I took a Nitro tab and then basically lay down the rest of the afternoon, on the couch watching some tv and youtube.  I was an hr outside moving the limbs so getting exercise but it made it worse.   I was tachycardic and flushed...and my heart didn't really relax till I fell asleep.  Today just holding my arms up exhausted me, I was trying to wash the window. 

Damn! It's always something. 
Sis is picking up Jim's cremains today as far as I know she said she thought she might go they called and said it's ready... it sure gives me comfort going to Casey's graveside and talking to him I buried him and I know he is there so having that little bit of a connection helped me a lot with the loss of his daily presence, At first I went out and stood by his grave a couple times a day then it got to once a day and now I just go and stand over his grave maybe once a week...I will holler across the yard at him tho and SAY HI Little Buddy.   He is buried next to Grizz and Breezy.  Grizz was my son's childhood dog he passed in 1996 and Breezy was my Moms last dog she passed in 2003. 

Today I worked on my Son's birthday card his bday is in about 2 weeks,,,he will be 41...yes I know he is middle aged already...I decided I would make all the cards for my immediate family so last Oct made my younger sisters, then my brother in law,  made my older sis's in January and now my Son's, it's been a challenge for sure. But Im glad I did and Im glad it's over now too...

And the one Im making for my son also has an Owl, it's kinda bringing to mind the evening not long ago when we had gone somewhere together and on the way back we saw a Great Horned Owl sitting in a tree it was just about dusk...
Im not finished with it yet so I will take a photo when it's done. 

Day 26

ELL I FINALLY FOUND A REDNECK I LIKE...
Although his language is a little foul, but its nothing I havent heard or possibly even said myself at some point in time and some quite possibly on the regular!  It's a political Youtube channel called the Liberal Red Neck...if you're into liberal politics take a listen...just be warned he is for an adult audience. I think his background is stand up comedy...soooo
His talking points are spot on and he has a very good grasp of where the weakness of the democratic party is, and very good suggestions of how to make it better, stronger, etc.  His main complaint, 

Old crusty white bread....this is how he  compares the membership of our elected officials on the dems side...and sinister, rotten to core homophobic, lying, hypocritical bible thumpers is how he describes  the other side of the aisle. I totally agree we need progressive people who have a brain, we dont need people who go in pretending to be liberal then their vote doesn't back that up.  

In the news Im glad the DOJ is finally investigating the fake electors that were sent up to Washington with fake results to try and steer the election off course, Pence was to accept those as the "official electoral results," but he didn't thank goodness for that at the very least...THIS is how dangerous the electoral college is!! ITS a completely flawed system.  OH sure when everyone plays by the rules, but wtf, how was the Republican party creating their own "electoral replacements...and changing the result" playing by the rules?...not  only it is NOT but it's a freaking crime!!  There is video evidence of the entire fraud starting with what Pence said just before he officially called the electoral votes...Go to Rachel Maddow and listen to her video on this...they found video going back like for years on the Little Speech that is read before Congress when the VP officiates over the declaring the results of the electoral college....it was exact every single time for eons of time back, except the PENCE reading, you gotta hear it...he is basically saying I have 2 copies of the results from some states and one is real and one is a fake!!! BUT he said like an entirely weird thing about "After ascertaining that the certificates are regular in form, and authentic, the tellers will announce the votes cast by the electors for each State beginning with Alabama, "which the parliamentarians   advice me is the only certificate of vote from that State and purports to be a return from the State and annexed to it is a certificate from an authority from that State purporting to appoint or ascertain electors."  This statement in italics has NEVER been part of the official process before!! 

This is what the DOJ is finally looking into there was 5 states that sent in FAKED electoral results...

Now at least we get a shot  of appointing a Supreme Court Justice since Breyer is retiring! Soooo good.  I hope he can get one in McConnell has said of course he will do all he can to stop that same as he did to Obama...I felt Obama didn't fight hard enough for that. 

They don't get it....

HILE PONDERING 
The state of our planet, it occurred to me only the wealthy can be passive when it comes to making a difference.  They can afford electric cars, wind and solar energy to be installed on their homes, and can pay the prices of the "better choice" such as Organic, whole foods etc.  Then they jet off and spew millions of gallons of jet fuel carbons into the atmosphere and we pick up the tab on that.

The rest of us have to make it happen one little bitty bit at a time.  We must be the ONE who saves the planet and hope that others are doing the same thing...we can't be passive.  We don't drive an electric car so we cut our travel back, the wealthier ones just keep moving around.  When was the last time you saw a guy in a suit out picking up cans on the roadside? Or Trash either for that matter?  Id like to see Mitch McConnell and Joe Manchin out picking up can's and taking them in to be recycled and see them picking up litter alongside the highway, see them cleaning up an oil spill, see them with soot on their faces as they work in an unhealthy environment just to make a living. 

Our state budget has this huge surplus at the moment and in the speech given by the governor on how HE wants to spend it NOT one word or dollar was to go toward any green deals....we don't even recycle most of the plastics collected due to contamination by the wrong type plastics.  So why didn't he say we're going to create a plastics sorting and recycling plant right here in our own state and sell that raw product back to the manufactures who made it in the first place...and we wont allow any unrecyclable plastic to sold in this state period....and what about glass....they don't even do that anymore....these states are waiting on some capitalist to come along and do it...why? Unless you're young and can buy one panel of solar a month and install it yourself, you are not gonna get solar energy on your roof...most of the time its paid for  in the form of a tax break...what if you're so poor you don't even pay taxes? 

The majority of the people on this planet live in poverty. and the rest live like Kings?

Clueless in DC,

E SURVIVED...

I cleaned my van off today and went out for birdseed...so Im all set with that now.  The price of seed is soooo high...I keep wondering are any of these prices going to go down when normal returns...or is normal ever returning?  I have never known the price of goods to go down.  An apartment fridge that used to cost $89 at  Walmart I saw one today for $259 that is what we used to get a small full sized fridge for.  How will people like me make ends meet?  So recall how last year I mentioned I need a new fridge? Should have bought it last year!! The same fridge I was gonna purchase for $530 is probably twice that now...So I will probably have to buy used when I buy....

Things need to change NOW because the prices are still rising...a bag of birdseed that last yr I paid $12 for today was $22.  

A smart leader would put a Price Freeze on Food, and durable goods.  I certainly would.  Is Joe Biden out of touch with reality.  Yes, all of the politicians are out of touch.  

I've said this so many times before....but Joe Biden will pay the same price for that fridge that I will....and yet he makes in one week what I make in one YEAR.  He said he is not a socialists maybe he should become one then...cause he doesn't get it anymore than the next rich guy does.   How can these people know what we need in the way of basic needs when they are so far beyond basic needs.  I wonder if Joe Biden even owns a car?  He gets driven everywhere he goes, we pay his insurance, his fuel, his car repairs, he is wealthy yet he gets for free what a 1/3 of my income has to pay for before I ever buy one piece of food.   He pays no electric bill, no water bill, no food bill...all provided for him with my tax money...

A king can't even begin to know what real life is...

Day 21

AITING ON THE SNOW...

Freezing cold right now...and a light sleet is falling.  So now they say we may get 2 inches of snow...I hope not but I'd rather have that than ice...we had ice last week.  I am as prepared as I can be...there is only so much you can do about it.  

I have a fire burning to help keep me warm it's really uncomfortable in here...Unfortunately I did not get bird seed, it slipped my mind so I put out what I had it won't be enough...I thought I had more in the bins than what I had....hopefully it won't snow and I can go for some tomorrow.   They have enough to get them through the rest of this day and probably thru the morning, but then it's not gonna last all day.  I have some suet I can put out...and I will. 

Friday again...it seems like Monday, then Friday is like an event horizon and the rest of the week is a Black Hole...that swallows up time. 

On a completely different note...I just listened to a vlog and this lady said she was bullied when she was a child in school, and she felt she had been bullied in relationships.  
The way I was raised I had no choice but to take up for myself.  We had parents who not involved in our lives at all beyond providing survival items of a roof, some food, some clothing...and took care of us when we were sick to the best of their ability! They were poor...we were poor...my mom pulled us out of poverty by the time I had already left home.  But to be honest if anyone attempted to bully me, I just saw it as a threat I had handle...so I did.  I know bullying is real and it changes how people live. 

If anyone tried to take something from me, tired to physically do something to me, or take huge advantage of me, I just derailed it right from the beginning.  Push me in the ice cream line, you got your face slapped, pull my hair I'd turn around punch you in the nose, take something from me, you would end up with your fingers in a twist hold.  I was not violent, but I reacted in my own defense. 

The only time my parents intervened was this...

I began walking at 8 months old! So I played with bigger kids, this one little girl I played with would run in circles and I think it made me dizzy so I bit her on the arm one day...she ran crying and my dad told her this..."the next time she bites you, you bite her back if you don't I will spank you." So I think he put the fear of Jesus in that kid....and sure enough the next time I bit her I was 2 yrs old, she was 4, she had way more teeth, she BIT me hard!! I ran home crying and that was that!!

So I think that was what I needed to know...if you want someone to leave you alone, dish our more than they are willing to take.   Lesson Learned.

Day 20

ANT WINTER GONE..

Yes I am ready for spring, too many days of grey clouds are making me feel like Im in a bubble that I can't see out of...we have more ice/snow forecast for this weekend...I used to ski.  Skiing is about the only reason I would want snow but since I no longer ski...it's hardly on my wish list.  
I recall when I finally got how balance and weight distribution was the key to good skiing..  It was a thrill to swoosh down the slope on a sunny day with no wind and just feel like  you could fly...but then it got so expensive to ski.  For us it meant flying or driving and reserving rooms, then lift tickets got every high...in the beginning we could get a lift ticket for like $30 half day...and if we flew to western slopes we normally went to Colorado and stayed with my sis.  But not always cause she had a small place with only a pull out couch.  So it just got to be a hassle, and seems I was always in debt from the ski trips so I gave it up!

When I bought my x out I cleared out all our old ski stuff took the boots and ski suits to goodwill and even the ski's too but they were really too old to even be of use....very outdated compared to the stuff of these days..I think the last time I went skiing was at Snowmass in Colorado...I recall I got very sick and we had to delay our departure by one day. 

So yesterday I spent the day getting in wood for the 3 days of bad weather we are predicted to have, hope the electric stays on this time.  My sis is having her 73rd birthday on Monday...we are getting way too old.  She has lived in CO for many years and yet she is the only one of us who never took up skiing....go figure.

Post Script:

I forgot to mention, last week I destroyed my binoculars.  The dial that controls the focus was spinning around not attached anymore....so miss fix it decided to put super glue on it...

Don't ever do this if you really want to keep your binoculars....I should have used double sided tape or some of that tacky putty whatever it's called.  So now they reside in the bag with the last pair of dead Polaris Binoculars that one of the prisms  simply jarred loose and was whoppersided, and even thou I tried to take it apart and get it back in alignment....it was never to work again.  What can you do with 2 pair of non working binoculars? 

So I found a pair of used Vortex Diamondback 8 x 42...hope they are not scratched or anything guy has 30 day returns so Im covered...

And they are $100 cheaper than the Amazon new ones...

I hope I will like them. 

day 16

EATHER WOES

Today we have an ice storm my electric keeps blinking on and off and I hope it doesn't just go off it could at any moment...the trees are covered and the power lines as well with ice.. Limbs are falling off the trees it sounds like a shotgun blast then you hear the thud of the limb hitting the ground.  Every single thing is coated in ice...it looks like a disaster movie.  

I ate breakfast early so I wouldn't have to use the camp stove if the power goes off but I have it at the ready jic...and my lanterns, and my battery bank also if I need to charge things...I don't know if my Modem will run off the battery bank? They should make modems with a battery backup a lithium ion inside like the laptop has.

My phone has very little service so using it as a hotspot is not really gonna work...never tried to do that.  It rained all night and as the temp dropped it began to coat the world if the sun should peek through it would be like a prism...but the Sun is no where to be seen and the wind i s picking up which means more  limbs falling..

This happens pretty regular in winter here I'd rather have snow than ice...snow does not damage things like ice does...my son had to go into work anyway which is scary hope he will be ok,,,and I hope he gets off before dark... The power just dimmed and blinked so I better publish this now!

Day 14

ENT BIRDING...

It was cold...but sunny.  So when I got back I downloaded my photos and put up an ebird list.  Went to what I call the Sparrow Place...its the key species there...18 species 7 of which were sparrows, had one Fox Sparrow couldn't get a photo of him this time.  Such a beauty.

But no Juncos.  That surprised me, last year Im certain they were there.  Had Jays, Wrens, Cardinals, Dove, Hawk, Vulture, and more.

an

It was nice to walk around but I sure got cold so when I got home I made a nice bowl of tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich.  Not Vegan but Vegetarian.  It sure was tasty and it warmed me right up.  
That made me think of a time back in 1994 when I went on a birding trip with the CBC,  I had invited my friend to go with me, and we signed up for a field trip that took us along the beach by the cold Atlantic Ocean in Feb,,,We were frozen when we got back to the parking lot.  

 Our leader had a surprise for us...he had catered Lunch! A food truck was there with Hot soup, hot sandwiches, hot chocolate,  coffee,  tea...warm apple fritters, and muffins, and it was the most delicious and comforting thing EVER.  Each one of us was smiling ear to ear.  What a wonderful surprise.  AND she had one of those outdoor heaters hooked up to a propane bottle and we around it and warmed up.

So that was a great memory....

BUT the morning did not start out so cheerful today...this morning I had a bad dream.  It didn't seem so bad at first but here is how it went...I was in some  mall it had restaurants inside...and I wanted to eat.  But on the way I stopped to look at batteries and this lady allowed her small child to open one of those emergency doors and the little girl went out towards a busy highway.  The lady said I better find another way out to get her...and I said "lady you better open that door right there and go get your child." it was like she was afraid to set off the alarm...anyways she did go get her...Then I went to the eateries, one served only fish one served only meat.  I was hoping to get something vegetarian...so I went to the last one.  People in front of me were looking at  a paper menu...and I was peeking over their shoulders to see it...and in the corner was a name hand written...when I looked at it, I realized it was my sisters name! I asked to hold the paper, he folded it and handed it to me, but when I felt it, the paper was WET...and when I opened it up her name was gone...It made me so sad I sat down at one of the tables put my head down and sobbed...
I woke up  my face, my pillow was soaked with tears and I was still sobbing!! 
It took me an hour to get myself under control...it was like I had lost something very dear to me, and the pain was so real....the saddness so real and the tears were real. 

I was so glad when I woke up and my sis had emailed me as she does every morning...I don't understand that dream... 

Day 13,

HAT I SAW THIS MORNING

So I watched this preppers video...his claim is the current raise in prices is a conspiracy to lower the population of the planet.  Its all a very well orchestrated plot...

BUT wait if the very corporations we support with our MONEY suddenly don't provide us with what we need and buy NOTHING,..hmmmm how does that work?  LoL..

People believe that tho...and they were saying things like "this is how the Dems handle the economy." LoL again so far none of Joe Biden's economic policies have been passed or enacted except the stimulus payments...but some how he is holding up the production of goods, he is stopping the trains and trucks, and he is not allowing meat to be slaughtered, they killed 1/2 million chickens not because of a disease they contracted, but to make food scarce.  

Yes people believe that...now I have been known to say that the rich don't want the poor, they want them to disappear...but withholding food from the shelves means rich nor poor get any.  My theory is that over decades there will be less poor as only the wealthy can afford decent food, healthcare, decent housing which is and has always happened...but this "Plot" is basically saying it's gonna happen soon!  The thing is this.  WHO is the they in this conspiracy? 

What happened in Kazakhstan was due to an Authoritarian Leader who is without cause raising prices of gasoline.  They  pump their own oil, 1,900+ barrels a day and Chevron owns 50% of it, Exxon owns 25% of it...so there had been a cap on gas prices, it was lifted on Jan 1, 2022...but the whole thing is not really about that is a disguised coup by the current leader as he tries to take the control away from the "old ruler".  So the old ruler and his family are now out of the country and the new ruler has the Military on his side...so we will see if he can do any better...this is how it is when you give ONE man too much power!!

Day 12,

here is the catchy title?

I just can't seem to come up one so I'm just doing a count UP for my titles...here it is day 12 already. 

Yesterday and Today I got frustrated...yesterday I took my propane tank to be filled because if we should get ice I could loose  electricity...if that happens I will freeze.  They say it's possible on Sat and Sun....
I have been very slack in cutting wood and currently I have almost none and it's all dead pine which has NO energy to release, it burns like crap.  I had planned to cut a couple of small oaks to put with it, but they need to cure for at least 2 weeks before they will burn.  I haven't felt well enough to do that.  So I wanted a tank of propane, yesterday I went to Tractor Supply they had none...could they just put a sign out there so you don't park,  go inside and ask for someone to come fill your tank...do all that get inside to hear "we are out of propane."  What a waste of my time!

So I went home without it because I was frustrated....today I had to go back for other things I couldn't find on shelves at Walmart some empty...they had almost no pasta, no lettuce, and a few other things I wanted.  The Fresh Pet dog food I buy...So today I had to go back to town.

I stopped at Ace Hardware to get the tank filled...they had it and  for a cheaper price...but the guy who filled it...

Ok, so we began to talk about the newly refurbished strip mall across the road.  So he said "you can thank Mr Trump for that...he passed this bill to give lower taxes to developers so we got  this mall fixed...

SO  of course I said "well that would be the only thing to thank him for since he is a complete scoundrel otherwise, he is a crook, a liar, and a traitor to the constitution." 

Does he not get it? So Trump passed a bill that helps an industry that HE is heavily vested in and this is how he makes his millions...real estate development and making money for investors and venture capitalists.  OMG, and at the same time he tried to take away so much from individual people's rights.  What good does this newly refurbished mall do our community? Besides taxes, it's low paying jobs, the HQ of the 2 business that rented are not here so all the money moves to another state to be held by wealthy corporate developers.  Just like Mr DJT.  Here is what I found online about this executive order;

Under the opportunity zone program, investors can receive capital-gains tax breaks if they invest in distressed areas that were certified by the Treasury Department.
But the program has also faced some scrutiny. The Associated Press on Tuesday reported that Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner, the president's daughter and son-in-law who work at the White House, could end up benefiting financially from the program.

Need I say more??

He said people voted for DJT because they are frustrated with Washington...ok, well how did he make it better??? The guy was not too bright if you ask me...I said "well once the infrastructure bill comes thru we will all benefit not just wealthy investors and his family"!! A new road, a new bridge, new water lines, more internet, bettering the entire community not just rich investors. 

Meanwhile inflation is drowning us...prices have more than doubled in most cases...gas came down temporarily but Im sure its getting ready to explode to new levels.  Food is scarce, and jobs are going to be lost.  Meanwhile covid is really on a huge increase.  Joe Biden has not gotten ONE bill thru the Republican blockade, so it's not his policy that has caused this inflation!! 

Day 11

HERE THE LOVE OF GOD GOES...

This is a line in the song The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.  The entire line is "does anyone know where the love of the God goes when the waves turn the minutes to hours"...I surely can't answer that if you believe in God maybe you can...

Anyways the reason Im even thinking of this is the other day I watched a documentary on youtube detailing the last couple of hours of that tragic last voyage of the Edmund Fitzgerald.  

I visited the shipwreck museum when I went to the UP of Michigan, and I would recommend it to any who are in the area...very well done...and the ships bells is on display there...the wreck lays entirely in the Canadian side of Lake Superior and it is currently banned from any more dives to be done on it, it's at 530 ft depth.  The ship sank in 1975 and was first dived on in 1976.  All 29 men aboard perished...

The thing is Superior lake is the coldest water possible..at about 36 degrees F.  So they say all the dead in the lake are still in there...still recognizable as human since they remain at just a degree or 2 about freezing...and since there is over 500 shipwrecks in that lake with a body count of 30,000 I don't think I would ever want to swim in that water.  When I traveled around Lake Superior on my Canadian road trip...I camped along the banks...If I had known then about the 30,000 souls I think it would have creeped me out for sure. 

Its amazing how many bodies are under water, not just in that lake but think of the oceans, all the rivers, lakes, ponds...I watch another youtube channel called Adventures with Purpose.  They work cold cases where people have gone missing suddenly never to be seen again and it normally involves there last know whereabouts was driving a vehicle along or near water...they have recovered quit a few so far...the missing person's corpse still in the watery grave which was once their car of truck...it's astonishing to realize people don't just vanish they are somewhere on this planet...

So if you know any story where someone just seemingly vanished into thin air while on their way to "somewhere" see if you can ID any bodies of water along that route that they may have run off into...

Recently the team of AWP, found a man in his truck in only 6 ft of water, people had put their boats in the water day after day right over this man's body!! Makes me want to never swim again unless it's in a pool that I can clearly see the bottom of. 

The sad thing is my Mother's older brother died when the car  he was driving plunged into a lake...he and his wife both died..I don't know if it was from the impact or from drowning...I must ask my sis and hope she knows...my Mom was always terrified of water, and this was partly the reason. 

Day 10

ENT AWOL for 5 days..

I had some busy days and some days where I did nothing in the past 5 days...of course I did what is required in order to survive...shop for food, cook it, and eat it....build a fire on a cold night...take care of dogs needs which are more and more with Floss.  Unfortunately there is some disconnection going on.  My Sis gave me Jimmy's hip pain pills she has been prescribed this before.  I had planned to get her a new script so my sis said just take over this one. 

So she is a little more mobile, but still she doesn't get up and go outside on her own anymore?  Like I said there is some disconnection and even when I take her out and walk around with her she will still come back sometimes and have an accident.  So that has me puzzled.

I think it's Dementia, or some other cognitive process... she has that same look in her eye that Spanky had the last year of his life...it was a vacant look, like he was not sure of anything...it makes me feel very sad inside.  So I am trying to do what I can to make her life as easy and painless as possible...Annie is still the same old girl she even runs a little bit when we get out in the yard and she wants to play she will run these tight little circles around me, then run right at me and dodge off at the last minute like Dodge Dog...lol she is a card.  She is in way better condition than Floss.  When they were pups (as you recall I found 7 young dogs abandoned in the woods back in 2008) Floss was in the poorest condition of the 7....because she was the most meek of the group she didn't fight for her food.  She was not the runt Daisy Mae was the runt.  She was the last one we found a home for and we kept the last 2 and now here it is nearly 14 yrs later.  I think about all their brothers and their sister...it was 4 boys and 3 girls...She is eating good right now but we had some ups n downs with the eating.  

I went to see a rare bird on Friday and I saw it and one other that had escaped it's way off my life list...so UP by two is good.  The Slaty Backed Gull the rare bird, and the other I got was the Lesser Black Backed Gull to me the Slaty is a cross between the lesser and great black backed gull....But it's a mostly Asian Species who found his way here on the east coastal region of SC...
It was at the Conway Landfill in Horry county...About 111 miles away.  So within my 4 hr round trip designation for the carbon footprint of twitching. I will offset that usage this week...hopefully.  
My sis had a new bird come right to her yard, the Rosy Finch got all 3 the grey, black, and brown.   And today the first Junco's came to my yard! They are a full 45 days late.  AND on Saturday evening my son and I were driving on the dirt road coming home and we saw the silhouette of an owl...I had my binos in the car as I have a pair I leave there 24/7 and took a peek even in low light could see the horns of the Great Horned Owl...so that was super cool..I h ad heard a barred owl calling one night when I went out at 9 pm with the dogs...so Owls are on the rise in this new world order.

I was glad other birders were there to point new arrivals in the right direction...that is always a plus...I find that birders are always helpful in that way...most of the time.  The lists I had seen said find the windsock and you find the bird, well there was a MILLION gulls at this landfill...but true to form once I was directed to the windsock, there it was and with help of others who arrived before me, they pointed him out...463 getting closer to my hopes of 500.  If only I could spend a week in FL and TX I know I could get those 38 more.  Hopefully before I kick the bucket...this is NA  birds...The only bird I really recall seeing in the Bahamas way back when I went was a Grackle and an English House Sparrow, and maybe Brown pelican? I should try to do a bird list of that trip...if I can recall the dates. I think I have some old photos maybe they are time stamped.

Today I don't feel well...I feel dizzy and light headed.  Hope as the day goes on I will improve.  Its turning colder as the day progresses, the first really LOW overnight is on the way...low 20's. That is probably what finally sent the Junco's here...

I watched 2 movies last night on Tubi, Glass Castle, and Blood and Money.  Glass Castle (Woody Harrelson) based on true story and reminded me o f my own dysfunctional upbringing...and Blood n Money reminded me a lot of the one I watched last week with Redford, only this one was with Tom Barringer. (Platoon, Sniper,)  Both used to be very handsome leading men both now very old and moving slow with poor posture and the whole nine of aging...BUT both still working, this film was from 2017...so I don't know if he has done anything since.  It was a good drama.  I read he lives in an RV on Hilton Head Island here in SC...in fact in this movie he was living in a truck camper..He has lived in SC since 1987...Im not sure I'd recognize him if I ran into him.

I see some blue creeping into the sky...hope that means it's gonna be a good day for me. 

Day 5

AS an OK Day...

BUT it had it's moments....

My son locked his keys in his car and enlisted my help he didn't have a coat hanger...most people don't anymore these days and I think I gave him the last one I had and I tried to help but he had a errand he had to do by 2 pm so I drove him to do that and we stopped and ate lunch out which is something I rarely do with someone else especially.  

It was okay not crowded or anything...but I noticed my son had little to say...he never shares any parts of  his life but the bad parts with me...Like Locked my keys in the car can you help....ran out of sugar do you have some, I need your help with this that and everything...

I gotta say Im pretty damn tired of it. 

We were not successful in getting his car open he is gonna try again tomorrow...He kept worrying about the little rubber trim...well shit happens, and it's better than breaking a little window which he wanted to do which was completely stupid or call a locksmith.  I told him if he will just be patient we can get it open.  We just need the right piece of skinny metal that is rigid enough to make the lock move...he has no patience...if he had left me to it I could have opened it but not with him nearly dying.  A locksmith would charge a lot to drive this far...HE said he has a spare key "somewhere" well excuse me but shouldnt' it be in the house or someplace easy to get to in this case...

Im all done being an understanding parent.   

Day 4...

RENCHED MY NECK?

Or something it sure is stiff and painful.  Probably when I was trying to saw up that tree.  I sawed up about 3 ft of it today and split 2 of the logs into firewood.  It's very dry cause this tree was dead no sap so it can go in the fireplace.  May as well burn it...I burnt the big pine that died in mom's yard and it did no damage I can see to my chimney.  

I need a new chain on my saw.  I got one right before I cut the oak tree but that chain was weird...First off I couldn't find the size so I dug thru the boxes and found one in the wrong place.  Im not even sure it was new maybe a returned one...I think the bar is OK, I tested it and no wobble when the chain is good and tight.  

It was cold all day and still is tonight I have a fire going...and it's still cold in here...I grew up in a cold house as my Mom could never really afford for us to have heat so we rarely had it.  She would get up and  put the oven on in the kitchen close the door and get it warm and we would all get dressed in the kitchen in the morning before school...I always insisted my house be warm when I was married and the 2 of us were working we had a good enough income to make sure we were warm...BUT as a retired sole senior on a fixed and low income in a too big of a house now I just can't really heat my home to the point it needs to be heated...I sure enjoyed those couple weeks of warm nights...BUT its unnatural...
IM considering moving my room into the guest room...that would mean I could close off 2 rooms of the house...I would hate to do that BUT I may have to...I can't close my dining off from the living area it's an open floor plan which I love but it's cold...So I was thinking of putting up some heavy drapes that I can take down in the summer...

I think I should sell this house :0(

When my x lived here alone, he moved his bedroom into the dining room, which was strange, but he had given away the dining room table, so he closed off all the bedrooms, and basically only heated the living area....before he  forced me to buy him out MY plan was I would stay on in Moms house, and then MY Son would live in this house with his girlfriend, and that whole deal fell thru they broke up and that whole thing threw my son under the bus...So I ended up moving here when my sis agreed she would come stay with mom, for a year, and then my other sis for 6 months and then mom passed away....NOW my son is in her house...but his electric is higher than MINE, he does not even try to conserve. I only heat the rooms I am in...

This house is all windows and doors! There is 18 windows and 2 glass doors...we did upgrade the windows to double pane years ago but still the house is old and drafty. The attic is well insulated but the walls are not. 

Now  the temps are going to be up n down up n down...I just have to deal with it is all I can say.  Propane increased from $10 for the 20 lb tank to $18...so last year I used Propane overnight but not this year I think I can use my electric and its cheaper...I still have to use the electric heat in my bedroom.  Soooo I did get one tank of Propane, used it yesterday afternoon and last night up until about 1 pm then I put a fire in the fireplace at 2 30...And I will put it  back on tonight when I turn in...

Today I tried to shop while buying the least plastic packaging.  IT is not easy.  I would do better to shop at IGA they have more loose produce.  Walmart does not have much...and many bins were empty..

So a bag of potato was $2.75 and I bought some loose russet potato, I got 5 for $1.75.  I Got 2 red potato and 2 sweet potato...I got one tomato and I bought rice in a cardboard box...BUT I came home with some plastics...I did buy English Muffin, plastic sleeve, coffee creamer in a plastic jug (#1) can be recycled...I got some vinegar in glass which I can not recycle, and that was not good...So I have to do a lot more work on getting my plastic down to zero. 

People were stranded on I-95 between DC and Richmond VA...for like 24 hrs when the local govt shut down the interstate due to snow and a pile up....1,000s stranded in below freezing temps...I think in a case such as that let the ones who can drive out Drive OUT...don't just close the road.  Let me say this nation is a JOKE...dont buy into that greatest BS.  We are not even prepared for a snow storm.  There is no plan in place no rule book it's seat of pants every damn time.

Trumps coup should not be memorialized.  They should simply have a memorial service for the ones who died and DONT give him the air time...he is threat to world peace...and a complete ASS.  I just saw one of the bimbo blondes who broke in say they were like the Jews in Germany....let me just say in that case they were the Germans!! The Germans came to drag out the Jews, they came to the capitol to drag  out the congress.  

We have one million with covid...

Is this my time?

INDY!! 

And another earthquake hit this side of Elgin about 18 miles to the west of me...the second in as many weeks....and we had pouring rain all night and 40mph winds that brought down a dead pine in my back dog run area and it landed on the wire fence.  SO I was out trying to saw it up...got the fence back up...but was not feeling well enough to saw up the tree only made enough cuts to get it off the fence.  Maybe tomorrow the wind won't be blowing and I can try to do more. The dang tree is 15 inches in diameter. AND my chain saw is not doing well I think I bent the blade when trying to cut that oak that Ive been burning all fall.  

I am not feeling well and the way it's going I may not last out this year!! I don't know that I mentioned it but I came down with a dry tickle of a cough about 3 months ago.  I had no clue and figured it would go away... it came about the time the itchy rash came so I thought its related to some sort of residual of covid, or some other virus or a new allergy...

BUT now I'm beginning to think it's heart related. See I have known for a while that I have A-Fib, I was told that I had a heart murmur when I was about 47 yrs old.  So when  I asked what can be done for that and was told Open Heart Surgery new heart valve I said NO way...won't even do the test..

SO now it's like this I noticed I get tired very easy....and that is not like me, I could work like a mule all day and never get so tired now I have to quit.  And I noticed if I carry something heavy I get short of breath and I get that A-Fib skip of a beat...so putting all this together, 

Fatigue, arm and leg weakness, skipped beats and flutter, elevated BP, and now the dry cough...ITS heart failure!! My heart is not pumping the blood thru each chamber as it should.  I get dyspnea.

Today trying to move that log off the fence...I felt awful.  Lately since the cough has come I just have no stamina at all.  

So NO cure for that heart transplant? No way Im too old for such I do need to be on a diuretic, and probably a beta blocker...I would need an  Echocardiogram to be diagnosed.  I thought they did one back in 2015 when I had the heart cath done?? I was told I had a tiny block in one vessel no problem, did not need to be stented.  But I went in complaining of irregular heart beat.  He adjusted my thyroid meds and did a catherization test, and basically told me all was within range for my age, and he said he found no arrhythmia I wore one of those monitors for a week it never stayed on right and right away it came loose I put it back on and added tape, and still they said it was normal...YET I had experienced many episodes of A-Fib.  So I take Aspirin. 

I could be wrong but it sure seems to fit.  

I figure I can die one of 3 ways.  I can die in a hospital, in my bed, or out living my life. 

Tit for tat

HAT ABOUT....

A blogger I read has asked the question why are we not shouting about it on every medium possible? Since Climate Change has been made into a political topic it is rarely spoken of.  Except here on my blog.  I am not afraid of stepping on toes, that's why we have them.  Being blunt has cost me plenty in the world but someone has to do it.  

So I made a resolution to reduce my plastic consumption.  I can almost hear some people saying 'what difference will that make?' It may not make any difference in your life but it may in mine.  See I do believe in the butterfly effect.  Imagine if those 2 Trillionaires had given each of their employees an electric car for Christmas instead of going into Space which was so irrational.   At the very least offset the damages! 

I said I would try to make my own vegan sausage, how naïve I was only a week ago.  SO I go to buy all the ingredients to make my own vegan sausage, it will mean a lot of packaging...SO better to just let that go off my diet period. It gives me indigestion anyways.

I think we should each put ourselves on a carbon reduction diet!  Sit down and really crunch the numbers and figure it out...like how many cows or pigs or lamb do you eat in a year?  This chart is in tons of CO2 per person. 

So what if you cut it in half??? You can figure this out by using your typical shopping trip as an example and add in the fast food you consume, and come up with a number in lbs and figure out the size of a cow in lbs or a lamb...if you eat 5 lbs of meat a week, and a cow weights 1200 lbs....you are eating 240 lbs a year, that's almost 1/4 a cow.  So if you eat half that  you just reduced your footprint....so you give up meat 3 days a week or cut your usage by 1/7th per day! 

What if you convince more people to cut it in half...we have to make these choices.  If I want to reduce the amount of fuel I use in my van, I need to figure out how much I am using and make the decision that I will use 5 gallons less per week.  or say I want to cut it by 15% SOMETHING concrete...is how we make change.  

Eat less meat, drive less miles, use less plastics?  Can each of you think of something you can and will do to reduce your footprint??  Im only going to buy avocado's from California, or the US... they most probably traveled by truck or rail and not by plane or Ocean freight. And I heard that Avocados from Mexico is now owned by the Drug Cartel...Knights Templar so screw that!

 I just feel we need to offset our footprint in every way possible.  If I can not reduce my gas consumption one week due to some reason, then I would eat less imported foods, or if Im a meat eater NO meat for a one day per week some checks and balances to even things out..

This is how we budget our money, our time, almost every aspect of our lives so why don't we manipulate and control our carbon footprint the same way??  I want to hopefully do a long trip this year in my van.  I enjoy camping along the way.  My footprint is going to be mostly gasoline, since I don't stay in motels using energy and all that is involved in keeping a hotel afloat like the huge use of laundry, electricity, all the excessive plastics.  SO I must reduce my consumption in other ways to offset the fuel I will use on the trip.  If I want to drive 5,000 miles divide that by 300 which is what I get to the tank full...that is 16.6 tanks of fuel.  That means I have to offset my consumption by one tank per month which is a 1/4 tank per week...and then some So lets say I reduce it by 1/3 per week.  I go thru about 1/2 tank per week....so I need to reduce that by 1/3 which is 4.17 gallons less per week! So I need to drive 60 miles less per week at 15 mpg. AND I am going to offset this with my less plastic waste which I will try to extrapolate in my next post. 

Jimmy o(

E WILL MISS OUR DEAR FRIEND...

Jimmy has crossed the rainbow bridge and is no longer in pain he is a free dog to run and swim and enjoy himself for eternity...

                                   
                                            Rest in Peace 

💗

2008-2022

We will morn you till we join you. 

Day 2

EATHER ISSUES...

Currently it's pouring rain....the kind you should get in spring when it's soft and heated...the environment is in for a shock...as finally a cold front that has been stalled in the midwest is moving toward us and a stream from the South and west is full of moisture and now it's dumping on us...visibility is pretty much zero from my windows...

My daffodils are up about 4 inches in some parts of the yard and my little peach tree is in pretty much full bloom.  It's been over 70F for the most part of 3 weeks now?  So a fake spring and now the cold returns this will affect the peach crop Im sure.  I traveled thru an orchard last week and the trees had that orange tinge to the limbs they get right before the set the bloom...it's a full 60 days early...Last yr my little tree bloomed and had a few peaches on it, but a late frost killed the fruit...this year it won't even get to set fruit...

That has to be the warmest December on record for us...2021.  I did finally see a flock of Chipping Sparrows....they have been staying north since it's been so warm.  AND speaking of birds moving...my sis the one birds in CO, she has been trying to see Rosy Finch since she moved there and finally yesterday it happened....an entire flock came to her HOUSE and fed on her feeders...She was on cloud 9 to say the least she sent me photos I was soooo jealous..and happy for her at the same time.  There was about 20 of them on the ground in her photo.  

My other sis is down in the dumps as Jimmy did not have a good day yesterday and she is wrestling with a decision one I had to make in April of 2020...my lovely little Casey.  I only had him 6 yrs as I found him wandering down the highway lost....he was an older dog with I found him probably 9 or 10...sis has had Jimmy since 2010 and she thinks he was about 2 when she adopted him... he is the age of my girls...the sisters now we reckon about 14. 

Casey began to have seizures every night about 8 oclock and then he was in that horrible postictal state for hours after...poor little guy I could not bare to see him suffer it was SO hard to make that drive and I nearly turned around several times, but I knew I HAD to do this...I HAD no choice. He was almost blind, he was pretty much deaf, he could barely move around and he was just old and tired and I wanted to ease his suffering and stop his pain. His pain stopped and mine began...as I had 3 solid years of grief.  I don't cry every single day anymore...but I cry at least 3 times a week...my x, my mom, my Casey...and now it seems it will be Jimmy.  

And I do think I will be the first sister to go....I will talk about that more in the upcoming weeks. 

On  a high note I made the perfect biscuit this morning.  I mixed up only ONE...and I gave it my full attention and it was delicious.  I was a glutton for gluten last week...I plan to show more restraint in the upcoming months. 

Day 1

ELL it's 2022 for real now...

As it turned out the movie I had planned to see was a stinker so I kept searching my Tubi list the one I create myself from their library.  I found one of Robert Redford's that I had never seen.  It was made in 2013, and the title is All Is Lost.  

If you haven't seen it I highly recommend it.  The story made me think of myself.  Why you ask? A stubborn old man who obviously was at one time quite able to think clearly and was physically capable to accomplish what he set out to do....but it all goes awry. 

I won't spoil it for you...Tubi is completely free to stream and I recommend it over Peacock, which is mostly free...I have not tried Red Box free stream movies yet.  I don't really do a lot of movies anymore, Im ready for bed earlier and earlier...

One thing that got me was what a horrible noisy New Yrs Eve it was here in my rural neighborhood!! ONE reason is people who don't live here.  The acreage across the road is owned by some rich lady who lives in TX she inherited it and she has no clue but she leases it out.  One year she cut timber and over cut on a piece of my plot that actually falls on the opposite side of the road...I attempted to contact her and she never responded. I was not sure how many trees they cut of mine, I called the Forestry Service and they sent out a man who to take my complaint....and he told me I  would have to hire a surveyor to have the line marked then have the trees counted by a forestry guy who would estimate the size therefore the value, and I just said "fect this" and let it go...

BUT now she leases to a guy who allows hunting and some of the people who come on there are there just to make noise and use the land like a target range which it is NOT..so at Midnight they began to SHOOT automatic weapons, Im always waiting on a bullet to come thru my wall or some shit...

Then this morning about 10 am someone was running a dog over there and yelling at the dog and shooting very close to me...SO I hollered
"stop shooting that damn gun"...There is a road they have created but it was chained and locked SO none of these people have a key to enter the land...this guy had parked on the side of the road and walked in....I left a note on his truck and got his plate number.  I feel like acting on this I wish she would stop leasing or remark the boundary where they can shoot...AWAY from the road since we live right on the opposite side of the road...You are not to shoot within 300 ft of someone's house but the damn guns  of today can travel way farther...I have lost all the contact info I had on the land owner, but I will go to the deeds and see if I can find out who it is...AND I think I will contact the Game Warden and complain about who ever has that lease allowing Target shooting, and people shooting so close to the road.  AND there at all hours of the night.  

Even when it's not hunting season they go there and shoot their damn guns.

I wish I knew I was gonna live longer if so I'd def sell out and move but to WHERE?? Fires in the west, Hurricanes in the deeper south, Snow and murders in the north, and here in the east....Redneck corrupt politics...Midwest Republican bible thumpers...SO out of the fire into the frying pan?

I think I have a problem health wise as well that I will talk about some other time..