Master of your Universe

HEN DOES THAT HAPPEN?

My true feeling is when you can say NO to anyone, anyone at all...no matter how important they are or how little they mean to your life...that is when you have mastered your own universe.  No is the hardest word I've had to use or not use.  Sometimes I've used it then had to back peddle, and then I have rolled over and regretted it for eons.   

SO I guess what I am saying is WHEN  you learn HOW and WHEN to say NO, it will work it's magic.  One thing that I heard recently is take away all that you are NOT and what you're left with is who you are.  So via the process of  elimination you can come the closest to your truth as you will ever get.  You need to do this while you can still recall your birthday and your Mother's name. >:o) Don't wait till you got one foot in the grave. 

I want to give an example...recently I read a post online,,,the story was like this...
A guy who owns a van and pulls a trailer was trying to go up a steep incline...due to locking differential he began to either slide or lose traction not sure which but he began to deflect blame from:

•  his decisions of speed,
•  whether he really needed to GO up that  hill,
•  trying to use a van as an off road vehicle,
•  and as a towing machine, 

to something completely without merit.  Vans are none of the above.  So if I had to make a choice of "what's a good off road vehicle that also has good towing capacity," a van would never even come into my mind!  Who said it, "you can put lipstick on a pig...but it's still a pig?"

S wrong tool for the job is the number one problem in this example...but it was his deflection of cause and effect that got me to question some of the things he said.

He said the van came with, "MOMMIE tires" that he had neglected to change.  So now suddenly a female is at fault here...not poopoo daddy tires, or low tread grandpa tires...not even foo foo tires, but "Mommie tires".  So I had to say NO...because tires don't have gender!  I don't even know if he published my comment, I didn't go back to see and really don't care...he read it and that is all I had in mind. 

I read the post a couple times to be sure I was getting the right message...

• he chose the wrong machine to do the job he requires,
• he had made no upgrades to make it handle better,
• he pushed the envelope

and when things didn't go as HIS thinking  it should, suddenly the derogatories come out and they are labeled female. "It's the fault of some female, somewhere, that I can't get this van up this damn hill." That is how I read it, because that is how he wrote it. 

His own lack of ability to create safe passage for himself he now lays blame on some female out there who should have "these" tires NOT him, Mr. Macho who would never be so stupid as have "mommie tires" on his "soccer mom" van...that he sees as some kind of tank, but in reality its just a van. 

Yeah I had to say no to that one...because why should this man who made this choice  not be told....NO it's you who created this not some UNseen female energy.   I got so angry...if a real woman had been involved sure..."My wife put these tires on this van, I would have chosen better.".....but he just gave a set of tires gender to make himself feel more manly than the guy who bought the van and didn't change the tires, HIM...
He is  trying to pretend he is in a 4 x 4 monster machine...when in reality it's just an old guy in a van pushing it to be more than it is.  You can project all you want but a reality check is sometimes necessary. 

When I was a child I used to ride my mom's ironing board, it was not an  ironing board it was the Black Stallion, and eventually it broke...and I got a spanking! Reality smarts sometimes. 

I guess I am not being fair to this man... because I don't know the guy but I can say some of the other things he has written gave me the creeps.   No is not an easy word to take, or to say, but it has power.   Possibly the power to create change, the power to make one think about the message they put out there...but they don't really put it out there they just sort of passively aggressively put out there and hope no one who really cares sees it. 

I call some Trump supporters beer bellies..that is how I see them but some are not.  I was being mean and demeaning by suggesting an image to make them seem stupid and of little character. I own my behavior, I was trying to make Trump look bad because I dislike him very much...and honestly no one can make him look worse than he has done himself.... I think we all have done this...and especially people of passion of which I am one. That does not make it my best behavior...I did it with intention and put lots of thought into it.  I was 

WRONG.

I'm just a baby boomer now over the hump and gliding to the end of the line.

I'm trying to find my way through life....I can walk away from any fight or I can jump in.  Now I realize some fights are so small they are not worth it..but in this year when the "Me TOO" movement shed so  much  light on just how many women of all classes, all races, all age groups have been taking it for years and years from men who want to make them less than who they are,  this is why, because no one stood up and said NO,

That's not okay with me.  We have to stick together and call it out when we see it.  Im sure someone is saying right now..OMG this woman is a nut, and possibly so...but Im not going to blame a man for it. :o)

Black Lives Matter is the same thing...police are not using the best tool for the job...the tool of reason.  If a guy has a knife and you have a gun that is not a fair fight...if  he comes at you blade in the air you may have to shoot but do you have to shoot to kill...shoot to stop not to kill.  This is the training that cops need to go thru to change the outcomes of these incidents.  Not only to stop the killing but to protect their own career.  This is why people are saying NO.  The looting is a result of pent up angst toward the over bearing actions of police who don't respect the life of the citizens they police. 

One size does not fit all.
Only in this case it's huge groups of people who are tired of not getting justice and they are saying no and they are showing they can take  other actions if no one wants to come to the table and get this on the top of the Agenda Line.  

Master your Universe with the word NO, but be ready to defend the outcome of that. 
..and for 2 days my diet went up in smoke...I forgot to say no to myself...