Unctuous...

ISDOM...
 
the quality of having experience, knowledge, and good judgment; the quality of being wise.
I wish for more wisdom every single day but I'm so easily drawn off balance...and I'm very naive!  It is my wish to get back to my center as quick as possible when I realize I'm off my axis.  I've been off my axis since my adult son had to move in with me for 2 yrs, then loss of my Mom, then my sweet little buddy Casey, and  the Country I so love gone to hell  thanks to the Ignorance of the Right..and the virus getting me, I feel like I'm under attack.  My emotions and my life under a deep veil of grief, my belief system is being attacked and assaulted, and my body riddled with a virus. Man... Im so off kilter.  
DAMMIT...
I saw a snippet of the RNC  on the news this morning when I tuned in to see  how much more RAIN will the state  be getting...there they were saying things like "They will take away your way of life" without any explanation or reasoning behind this skewed thinking except that "they want to create a downtrodden, weak society." "If I don't WiN it's rigged," he says with no evidence to back up that claim...just to incite fear...the only one rigging it is HIM.  IF he does WIN It's RIGGED is how I see it. What a liar and a loser!

Anyways aren't the Conservatives, the one who believe in the Bible, they preach it to us but only the verses they Want to use to control our lives...they are the party of Control Freaks, they want to dish out how we live and use the Bible to back it up correct? Doesn't the Bible say "the Meek will inherit the Earth." The saying implies that those who forgo worldly power will be rewarded in the kingdom of heaven. 

I see a man who hates meek people..the very thing he is saying is exactly opposite of the position of the religious right that he pretends to be a party to.    
So if you look at it thru the text of their Bible, it is Biden who they are saying will produce the world the they pretend to believe in...OMG see how off center I have been dragged.  Im just trying to understand this "say one thing do another" talking out of both sides of the mouth! It blows my mind. It's so unbalanced, there in lies my dilemma.

        ♎♎♎♎♎♎♎♎♎♎♎

Anyways also in that snippet I heard him say, "if you really want to get them, say 12 more years" so he wants to get US, the ones who do not support him...
yet it was Biden who said, I embrace all Americans...he is not turning his dislike of Trump into hatred toward a portion of the population who don't vote for him the way Trump does, when  Donald says things like, "get them" he is talking about me, and you too, I take it personally!   Actually he hates poor people on any side of the fence...he wants to be a dictator, one where people pour their wealth onto his feet the land of milk n honey...but that is not who we are...and we  have not been that society ever, it was a pipedream of some...not the reality of the masses.   
Anyways Im trying to escape it but it is inescapable...
The Post Master General should resign! Email him-- I did...here is his email addresslouis.dejoy@usps.gov

My blood began to boil so I had to turn off the news and I got my weather report on the Internet, yes more rain off-on all day today and more tomorrow! Dang! All rain no rainbow..

Like I said Im so off center I don't know what it will take to get me back to a place of peace and inner tranquility.  My Libra scales ♎are so weighted down and lopsided right now I feel I'm about to fall over. Where is justice? There is no justice, no fair election, no fair economy, no fair treatment by cops, no fair income for everyone, no fair fight, no fair deal, no Justice No Peace is  the right slogan for this time in our Country.

IN other news I hear Corona does strike twice or who knows how many times? That is news I've been dreading to hear, they say if your first go round was mild it can come back stronger, if I had to put a number on how I felt 1-10 with 1 being mild, I was a strong 5...so makes me think I will have to avoid people the rest of my life or is it in me and now it  can come and go at will?  If so then just kill me now.

I wish the Canadian border would open I feel like I need to run in Nov if Trump wins, I'm thinking somewhere in Northern BC..up around the Northern Territories, maybe that's far enough away...I can see all on the left becoming refugees fleeing this dictator.  The bird did well last night one eye is open yet still inflamed the other eye not so good...hopefully she will respond better today.  She is lively and eating and I think she will make a full recovery. I cleaned up all my feeders  to try and stop any more from contracting the conjunctivitis it is so very contagious I wiped all the feeders down with a bleach solution and the bird baths too.

It was drizzling when I walked to the mailbox this morning, it's Tuesday I normally  post one day ahead of time it's easier for me...anyways I  had a real letter in there! Imagine that, when's the last time you got a real letter from family or a friend?
It was from my sis thanking me for my $contribution$ to Jimmy's See Again fund, and she sent me some flower seeds how totally sweet.  
   She mailed it on the 18th it arrived on the 25th...normally we can send letters back n forth in 3 to 4 days..the last one I sent her the one with Jimmy's check in it took 10 days to arrive! I was about to have the check cancelled when she called me to say she got it.  And yet there's grown republicans who deny there is an issue with the mail...maybe somehow they don't get mail I have no clue...but I'm thinking of putting all my bills, notices etc on email delivery.  I don't like to do that because they can change your due date or your interest rate in case of some credit cards, without notice..and if you're not really looking over those email notices...YOU can get screwed up that happen to me before but I think I will just have to do it..but I may wait till NOV to see who wins the election,,,,if it's the Donald Party I will have my mail forwarded to Canada. :o) LoL...Im joking...I think...;o/ 

But I will say when I was In Canada traveling in 2016...it felt so good to be Under One FLAG! Here where I live in the south there's always 2 Flags flying the one that represents hate, and now the other one also represents hate. To me, if you fly an American Flag you're supporting Trump! I will not fly my flag again until he is gone took it down 3 days after he was elected. 
Speaking of letter writing...
My x-best friend and I used to write letters to each other when she moved to Ohio.  She left her husband and her KIDS...not that I was happy about that her leaving the kids one 15 one 11 not good! But it was her choice not mine.  I told her I felt she had made a big mistake! 
    In the beginning her letters were about how good it was to be out of that situation, and how happy she was, how free she felt..but then when the new wore off that candy, her letters changed she condemned the new people in her life, (the man she left her husband to be with) struggled with facing the situation she had created back at home, and denounced her Mother who tried to make amends.

My friend never made amends with her mother who after getting a clot in her leg and having that leg removed died a few days later...it was so sad because her mother used to call me and ask about her daughter who would not take her calls...I always told her everything I knew, because I felt my friend was wrong...yes she had an ax to grind about their past relationship but that was in the past.

When she could no longer live in the Ohio situation, it was her mom with a friend who drove up and brought her home and gave her a place to stay for 2 yrs.  

When my friend let me down on way too many occasions, and year after year outlined to me the changes she wished to make and how she would go about making those changes and yet did NOTHING... I wrote her a last letter and told her I was no longer willing to be in her corner as she for years had outlined how she intended to make changes, and had MANY opportunities to make those changes but in the end she did nothing but complain about her situation, about her life, about the reality of where she was in life....yes it had not always been fair to her but she had many chances to make that different. 

 I told her, 
"I have listened to and supported many of your plans for nearly 30 years  in the belief that you were actually wanting those changes to occur...but now I see that will never happen, you want someone to change your life, you are unwilling to do it yourself.   I think  you have allowed the rust of inaction to cover you over and now you are unable to create change.  Please don't see this as me walking out on you in your time of need, because your time of need will be every single day as you make no move to improve your situation. Please see this as me walking away from a situation I have no control over and feel helpless to find a solution to...it goes against who I am as a person and a friend to give up, but I am.  I can no longer be a cheerleader for you so I would be dishonest to continue to support an ongoing friendship, one that I no longer have faith or trust in. I am really sorry that I have failed as an encouraging friend who could help you move forward, I thought I was, but I feel I've come to a dead end.
So many times when we shared our dreams and made our plans, I was serious, and followed through and now I feel betrayed as I have no real clue as to who you really are.  I opened up to you in a way I had never done to anyone, and I thought you were doing the same, but now I realize you kept the real you hidden all these years.  
I have no clue who you really are deep inside. I thought we were kindred spirits, but in reality it was you gazing deep into my life and me staring at a smoke screen.
In closing Im sorry I let you down and was unable to be that person that you could open up to and be who you really are.  I hope you find that person in your life at some point and that gives you the fulfillment and the solace  you seek. I will forever consider you the friend I always wanted, but never really had."

And so it was, then she sent me a Christmas card the next Christmas, it simply said Love, and nothing more...I did not want to be unctuous so I ended this friendship...I could not go along with what I knew was not the reality of the situation any longer.  I have no clue where she is now or what has become of her as I cut all ties.  That does not mean I don't wonder or care...I hope she was able to fulfill her dreams if not all then at least some,..as none of us get all what we want from life.

I have made an honest effort to fulfill most of what I wished to be in life, yes some of it fell apart, some things I tried just didn't work out but I did try...right now my travel plans are on hold, first due to helping my son for 2 yrs, and now stunned by grief and the virus keeping me stagnant.  Setbacks can bring you to a halt, but it should not stop you dead in your tracks. I still have hopes and dreams and with a little luck I may pull it off.