Rotten Start

AS NOT A GOOD DAY...

I just can't be Pollyanna who pretends life is wonderful...its not always.  Today was a very tough day for me, only matched in awfulness by yesterday...Im trying to go forward.  I can't go into details right now and maybe never as Im dealing with my son's mental health issues.  It has left me afraid and empty of emotions except fear and dread.   

It's so difficult to accept when your kid is not the  kid you thought you raised...I think I was the last one to know my son.  He is very good at hiding his true self.  When he went to college he changed he is not the same person who was so loved by many people...I have witnessed him destroy his future, and had no way to get thru to him.  I don't like it when I learn I've been lied to and it really hurts.  How do  you feel when you find out someone you trust has been lying to you?  Its a huge let down.  Trust is what I base all my relationships on.  So now what?

I hope one day he can get things in his life prioritized so he can move forward to a better place in life.  I am doing what I can to help but I have to say I have grown weary... I feel like as the old saying goes, " Like I been rode hard and put up wet." referring to how people mistreat a beast of burden. 

So I got a little more done on the van... 2 pieces of  the new raised ceiling is in and the third is ready to be put in...it took forever for me to get all the wiring up the duct tape didn't want to hold it to the ceiling...so I would tape and it would slowly fall down...grr  But with a little of this and that tweaking I got it to stay put till I got my masonite board in place. Im screwing it up to the 'ribs' that is part of the strength of the fiberglass top. It doesn't look like much at his point..I put reflexic insulation behind the masonite, and I will be covering it with the headliner material.  I had to cut it into 3 pieces to get it up cause it was too awkward and cumbersome otherwise.  The wires are where the 4 pot lights go...I may have to enlarge the holes I just made a hole big enough to get the wires down but I can enlarge it if I need to push the back of the light up some so it fits flush against the fabric when its on.  Im going to try one with a scrap of material at first..

There is also some low voltage LED lights I plan to reuse.  

While Im typing Im listening to I Like Mike..he has made it to Dayton Ohio, and his hike is going well so far...he went all across the Upper Peninsula, then down the long Michigan mitten, and now he is well into Ohio and he has 3 days to get to Cincinnati, and he will take 5 days off...and then it's onto Kentucky. 

Watched some of Svengoolie last evening, it was a repeat that I saw not long ago...about a Monster that escaped a trench in the ocean when some blasting was done...it was an extinct Dinosaur type thing..he made his way to NYC...too bad! It was good to see old footage of the city.  My son came over and we watched a very strange Tubi movie, it has Jeff Daniels, and it had one of those NON explanatory endings that leave you saying WTH...I don't like that I want everything tied up in nice little bundles...

So Trump is still trying to pull a rabbit thru his nose and I hope he chokes on it...The man is a menace to the Republic and he is trying to undermine Democracy...and so is Lindsey Graham, Mitch McConnell, and 98% of the Republican Anti-American Party.  I consider them all in default of their job the commitment they made to UPHOLD the process of our Justice Department, and our Election Process.  When people say we need to come together Im wondering how in the heck are we gonna do that??? IM  not suddenly going to think its' okay to sling the playbook out the door..NO way.  It is them who has drifted off in lala land, let them swim back to shore or drown. 

Covid is killing   a 1,000 people a day and Trump stands up there and lies saying the vaccine that Pfizer has 90% effective was part of HIS Warp Speed project while the company says NO it was not...the US prepaid for 100 million doses of the vaccine, once it is approved, that does not mean they helped pay for any expansion of any research. read the AP fact check for yourself..

Trump trying once again to force his version of the truth on the world...OMG I've so had enough of him.  And I think many people are now weary of his stupid lies and attempts to manipulate the facts.  This is a dangerous time for us...there's lunatics on both sides  you know!