Gunslingers..

ERE ARE THEY WHEN YOU NEED THEM?

I've been in need of many things in my life...but never had the use for guns.   I actually inherited a 22 rifle, but my son took it so I no longer have it.  Today of all things I was flagging people over on the side of the road begging for anyone..."do you have a gun?"

*sigh* 

What a morning I had...and I don't think I will soon forget it, Seems death is surrounding me anymore...I can't escape it.  Every time I think my soul is healing from the grief and tragedy of death then along it comes to fill my life with it's horribleness...

I sat on the side of the road today trying to comfort a young buck he had 2 little buds just forming on his head where proud horn would have sat if he had lived.  I loaded up my trash today in the van to go drop it off then do a little food shopping, and so I left home at 10 am.  At what I guess was 9:50 am 2 dogs brought a young deer down by the side of the road and attempted to kill him pull him apart and that is the scene I happed upon not 5 mins after leaving my home...I saw a bloody white dog and a black dog wrestling something and it was moving...so I stopped and grabbed my hiking pole I keep it on the seat next to me. 

I chased off the dogs and there was a helpless deer with a broken hind leg, twisted in some way I couldn't even figure out and they had ripped out the soft place between his hind legs, the poor thing was still alive.  I didn't know what to do...grabbed my phone it was Nearly Dead! I had no idea who to call...

The first car that I flagged down had 2 women they had no gun but they helped me get some numbers to call ,the Police Dept.  I called and they told me they would get an officer as soon as possible...the ladies left...then I recalled I had saved the number of the wildlife rehab when I took the baby squirrel...so I called her she gave me the phone number of the game warden.  I called they would send someone..

10 mins, 15 mins, and I sat by the deer gently patting his head and speaking to him..  "don't be afraid I won't leave you so help me GOD I won't," and I wouldn't.   I flagged another car no gun, and another NO GUN...20 mins, 30 mins, 35 mins and I was bawling, I had blood on my hands,  I had covered up his wounds to keep the bot flies off...and the poor deer struggled to breath I wanted one of 3 things:

 PLEASE GET UP AN BE HEALED A MIRACLE....that didn't happen...

I BEGGED FOR THAT BREATH TO BE THE LAST ONE...that didn't happen...
"OH PLEASE DO YOU HAVE A GUN", I begged to the next man I flagged..."YES" 

He got out reached into his back pocket and out came a little pistol...I said "Please put this lovely creature out of this misery"...

And As I hid my face in my hands the crack of the pistol made me jump out of my skin...

And I cried like a baby and went to stroke the deer and say a few words for his life the beautiful life he had and the tragic way he died...I told him he was loved and his life had meaning...I think that is the most important thing to know your life meant something....

Then came the deputy and the game warden at the same time they thanked me, and the guy who shot the deer, and drove away...then the guy drove away and it was just me and the deer...I couldn't breath and I broke to pieces my mind just let go...and I couldn't even drive my van...I just sat there and wailed...I kept asking why why why why ....I got no answer. 

The beauty of the deer was marked by the brutal way his life ended...So I went  home got a shovel and came back and mounded dirt over his body...I did the best I could sandy soil is easy to dig...some large stones  at a  culvert nearby I hope will keep the scavengers away...I could not leave him there on the side of the road like he meant nothing more than the beer can laying nearby.

Today I was glad I found a man with a gun...
And I lost my last bit of faith...

Scales tipped...

HEN FREEDOM IS LOST

Do what I did....I contacted the office of the governor of TX and told him just how I feel about his attempt to suppress voting in his state. https://gov.texas.gov/contact   And in an attempt to get others to realize that having a GOP Governor is really a loss of freedom...I plan to post as often as I can about getting rid of  him when he is up for re election.  

Trump padded the Appeals court with HIS Judges and it is helping him.  A federal judge struck down the Gov. ruling saying only ONE drop location of Ballots in each County...but it was upheld in Appeal due to the appointment of new judges put in place by Trump! 

So see this is WHY he got in office to begin with...do you know how many law suits this guy has against him and has had against him??? This is the golden ring he wanted and he was right when he said Obama should have done this when he had the chance...but see Obama is a decent man he doesn't think that way...only an evil mind thinks in a way to USE the system to push your own personal agenda and make it unfair for some while it leans heavy toward the other side.  

I hope Joe Biden does NOT say he won't pad the court I think he needs to keep that option open and that will be his opinion on that key answer.  This morning I woke up feeling angry and put upon by my Country and by the justice system as a whole...Case in point...it's been A SOLID YEAR...since my son and I (cause I have helped him with the legal papers), filed a motion for a hearing in Family Court.  THAT hearing has been continued for a solid year now.  HOW is that fair?? 

My son is not like me, I don't like it when things are not done as it should be,..I get angry I do something about it, he does not see the injustice the way I do...I want to call the court clerk and demand a PRIVATE hearing if they won't hold it as should be done. I think some government departments are using Covid as a means to get out of doing their job!  

IF they can't hold family court them hold private one on one hearings...A person has a right to justice!! Do you have any idea how backed up the court calendar is now???? Almost a year.  They completely mishandled this whole thing...It is not impossible to do business, just make the changes needed to make it safe.  

I feel asleep during the Devil Dolls but the bit I saw was a crazy scientist who was trying to make the population of the Earth small by shrinking people to the size of a doll ended up with using them as thieves!! That's where the devil part comes in.  See how it works just like that...you make something heavy in your favor then use it illegally!! My Libra Scales are way out of whack today.  

Anyways it was made in 1936! Amazing our family didn't own a tv till 1964 so our poverty took us completely out of the loop most American's were in.  Again a lopsided equality.  Capitalism is not something I support as it has created such inequalities that should never exist in this World.  

My day is wide open no clue how I will spend it...Im eager to see how the paint dried it may need a second coat.  HOPE NOT that was hard to do.

I hope you have the kind of day that leaves you feeling good inside.  I hope for the same for myself. 

Cozy Peace

HISTLE WHILE YOU WORK...

I didn't exactly do that but I worked nearly all day on my van.  I'd like to say it looks fabulous or wonderful but that would be a LIE..it looks better than it did.  I really need some paint that rolls on, because spraying it on is not getting even coverage...SO I may try some enamel roll it on and see how it looks! Can't really hurt and they do make the bedliner in quart cans...so I may have to go with that like it or not.  I will decide tomorrow what I want to try. 

Meanwhile my rib cage is sore...from all the stretching to try and reach the middle.  Ouch.  I put the gas heat on this afternoon.  It's that chilly in here.  I should have set a fire in the fireplace but I decided I wanted to rest and not jump up and down every few minutes feeding the fire but tomorrow I probably will do a wood fire. 

I have little black specks of paint all over me, I scrubbed and scrubbed but most is still on me.  I used 4 cans of spray paint and 4 cans of primer.  Not very exciting stuff just life.  I had left overs from the dinner I made for my son and I last evening he did come over and we watched the movie, it was a good thriller, didn't quite understand it so I noticed there is a you tube that explains the ending so I may watch that....it was like Cell Phones put  a Virus in the minds of humans, that changed them into Zombies, and then the Zombies all seemed to be controlled by cell towers they communicated and recruited the unaffected by making this Sound...pretty far out. 

We both like thrillers and sci-fi so yeah we agreed it was about a 3 outta 5 stars...I also have Cloverfield on my Que in Tubi...it looks like an action packed thriller that link will take you to the trailer in case you also like sci-fi thrillers. Tonight  Svengoolie has the Devil Doll...

If it's too corny I may go ahead and watch Cloverfield.

I have nothing planned for tomorrow so I will do whatever comes to mind stay in the NOW if I can.  There's some Youtubers I need to catch up with.  I Like Mike and SUV RV'ing have new releases Im going to watch as soon as I finish up this post for Sunday.  My Mom's sister Jean is in the hospital.  She also lives with her daughter, my first cousin.  I have to pop over to Facebook and see if she has left an update for us...My aunt Jean has a lot of nieces and nephews worrying about her same as My Mom did when she was ill...

Im tucked in a little early for me on a Saturday but it sure got chilly outside, feels really cozy in here now,  the girls are fed, and are sleeping on the rug in front of me, and  it looks like a peaceful quiet evening is on tap for us! 

Breezy Friday

ENT Ahead and VOTED!

Since they said it's ANY reason this year and anyone can vote absentee in person I did it today I happened to drive past the location and there was no big line, in fact only one guy was in front of me.  SO It's done for me,,,,,I can stop watching the ads and stops listening to the town halls, etc.  NOT like I would vote for any Rep.  In fact one Rep was unchallenged on our ballot for county council and so I just did not vote in that race.  Wish I'd known I'd run against him!!  I wonder how much they pay.

I didn't win anything in the door prize drawing...so I won't be packing my bags for Hawaii just yet.  I have to check my sky miles, you can exchange 5,000 miles for $50 off a ticket...

With air travel not being a fave right now I may get a deal...must check that out.  What I want to do is this fly in and rent an SUV or a minvan..and camp in the minivan...I don't want to have to return to home base every day.  I wanted to visit Kauai...it seems to have the most bird life and the most reserves for wildlife...and Parks without the Disney atmosphere. 

I have done a little research but nothing finale on that decision...I know I can't afford a flight to another island, but maybe a boat trip? A Pelagic..I will have to take a lot of Dramamine..

While I was out I got the rest of the paint I did return that faulty can to Walmart they gave me  a gift card for the $5.39 sooo I got 2 more can's of primer.  However it's too late now to start that so tomorrow that is tops on my list, finish the primer.  I don't know if the color is going to come out to be uniform overall as the primer did not dry uniform...so I feel that is a hint as to what's to come.  I have a paint sprayer, or I should say a paint splatter'er and as for rolling they have nothing suitable for fiberglass in a roll on.  I decided to NOT go with the bedliner stuff it only comes in a shiny finish and I didn't want shiny.  

So It's Friday today this posts on Saturday...It started out cloudy and looked like the bottom may fall out we had rain overnight but now it's clear as a bell and there is a 5 or 6 mph breeze blowing...My son is supposed to come over for dinner and a movie tonight if he doesn't cancel on me, which is  often the case if he comes we will watch the movie called Cell.  The trailer is HERE  based on A Stephen King book by the same name...if my son is a no show I plan to go ahead and watch it alone, its free on TUBI with an HDMI cord I hook my laptop right to the tv so we get the full 26" format...lol I don't have a BIG tv.  and It's a hand me down TV....so perfect for me, as I sleep thru about as much as I watch. I  do enjoy certain things and I always want to see the news and weather...
The only issue with the free movies on You Tube is you have to hit the skip button on the ads or they play on and on...in Tubi the ads are quick and sometimes there is only one or 2 ads...Sometimes tho the movies are in a black box format I do not like that. 

Svengoolie tomorrow is the Devil Doll...I may have seen this one if so I have other movies in my Que to watch on Tubi or You Tube, if I watch youtube I normally just lay down and put my laptop  on my knees and watch full screen so I can hit the skip ad button...
Im on my way to the mailbox to see what's in there.

That's it for me today TTFN. 

Run Aways

ENT TO A DRIVE THRU MEETING!

Today is Thursday and I've had it on my calendar for over a month to go to a meeting today!  My electric Co-op has an annual meeting and all are invited.  I never go because it's normally held in Sumter 30 miles away, always well attended and from what I know BORING..except for the door prizes....BUT this time it was completely different...they had it split between 2 days and in 2 different cities and it was a drive thru event! You didn't have to get out of your car.  

In my case the place where we did our drive thru was only 4 miles away, sweet.  Just for showing up I got a 9 inch cast iron fry pan..also sweet!  I use cast iron every day...
Then there was all the door prizes...they did a You Tube of that event where the meeting of all the stuffy board members was held at their own main conference room...they do have nice door prizes, a riding mower with garden trailer, 3 big screen tvs, and several gift cards ranging from $100 to $25...

I didn't win...darn it.  But I had hope for like 15 mins!  My son texted me at 4 when he was on his way home from work a herd of goats was on the road...lol There is a Mexican man on the corner of that road who has a large herd...I guess they got out...one thing about goats they don't run away like horses do when they get out.  They just hang close by.  

I had horses in my life for nearly 40 yrs.  So  I know horses...and how they behave.  My horse Sundance used to get out all the time, because John would forget to lock the gate behind him...and Sundance normally went to the same place, over to Mr. Young's.  He also had horses and he lived  about 2 miles from me.  Sundance would go over and jump IN his pasture with his horses.  He had 4 or 5 horses...one morning he went out to feed his herd and he had an extra face in the trough! LoL..

He knew Sundance cause we used to ride together quite often...then he got ill and passed away he was an older gentleman.   I missed our rides.  I also used to ride with the daughter of one of our neighbors, they lived about 1 mile as the crow flies...and she had a pony.  They would not let her ride alone, so I called her sometimes to tag along with me.  Sundance always enjoyed when we had company rides.  

At different times my husband had a horse also and he and I rode together almost every Sunday.  But he never kept a horse long he would sell and then buy another.   Then he decided his riding days were over, and not long after that I retired Sundance, and he passed away in 1996.   I had him since 1974...and he was such a joy to be around.  

At one time we had a young stallion, John had planned to green break him and sell him for profit.  I was the only one who ever rode him...he never did grow to full size so he was not the type profit maker John had hoped for...and once when we went on a ski vacation and Mom was enlisted to feed them for us, they both got out!! Sundance of course headed to Mr, Young's and the colt went with him.  

Mom called Mr. Young...and told him the horses were missing he said they were at his place he had put them in his corral and  he had been waiting for me to come get them...but of course she explained we were out of town...so he said no worries, and soon there they came down the road his son was driving the pickup, Mr Young was sitting on the tailgate, leading Sundance and the colt followed behind....LoL..

Sometimes it takes a village!! 

Things to do...

HAT TO EAT, what to plan, what to think...

Since the dentist severed my lingual nerve only very spicy food has a taste.  And then spicy food upsets my stomach so eating just is not fun anymore!  So I find myself buying the same thing over and over in the store.  I want something good but it will have no taste very frustrating...

It was the perfect day today sunny blue sky low humidity, birds singing, bees buzzing, great fall day!  I ended up attaching the bagger to the mower and it worked perfectly...the new blades did the trick on that.  So I cut and raked the leaves at the same time and got good mulch for the compost pile and to put around the shrubs.   

That was a project Mom and I had been trying to accomplish, so I felt that she was celebrating with me when it worked.  We bought the new mower and I was pretty certain the old bagger setup we had would work with the new mower but when I put it on it did not work...I had to purchase the part that connects to the discharge chute...but the rest was our old set up.  It was the Blades all along!! When  you want to use a bagger you need bagger blades!

after that...

I worked on scraping off the blistering clear coat form the hightop on the van.  That stuff not only failed on my van but most vans I see around.  It just does not work well on fiberglass.  So I can't scrap it all off but I'm sanding it and scraping what I can off...then I plan to prime it and repaint.  I will be spending only a few bucks on paint.  I also want to replace the carpet in the van in the front part the back part is fine.  I will cut it in front of the bench seat in back and redo the front part, the rest is under and behind that seat so  it can't be seen from the front or inside the cabin, I know I can't match the old color so I think I'll go with a completely different color. 

 Im just thinking out loud on that have not made any move toward getting any carpet...and I wonder where I will find  carpet..it needs to be pliable I can probably order it online.   I want to get some of these chores done while the weather is good...I also want to redo the inside ceiling of my van it's old and its creaks, squeaks, and sags and it is too low...I want it to be higher so I can stand up in the van.  And the front section same story, it's too low it used to have a dinosaur size TV and video player in that part but I took that out because it was old and outdated.   I use a small DVD player that has it's own screen when I want to see a movie at night when I'm camping.  So I turned that top section into extra storage. 

So these are just some fixes I want to do...both are hard work. First step is to take out the old...see how I can accomplish what I want to and then get busy.  I hope to reuse some of the components just mount it higher and better so it doesn't squeak, creak, and sag!  I thought of using Luan and make some  pouches along the upper sides...and that will hold the top headliner part UP higher.   Currently it's made out of molded plastic.  I could use headliner material to cover the luan and make the pouches from it too.  I can buy that at Hobby Lobby or order online...

I have been avoiding the news on purpose, I need a break from the politics, and the stress of living in America these days!  I just realized on one of my french doors there's some little nose smears down on the lowest pane, little Casey left his mark there...broke my heart and I just felt like curling up into a ball and never uncurling,  I can't express how much I miss him. 

Not much from me today...hope you had a good day!

Falling...

INDOW INTO the FUTURE...

I believe this will be the last nearly/somewhat/almost but not quite fair election we will have in this country if you don't want to be living in a military state run by a dictator run for your life....you better leave now!  The Republican party is placing Ballot Boxes around Los Angeles that are not official...they will pick up those ballots and possibly open and destroy any that are not for their party...They prey on the weak and non attentive American.  The DA has ordered them to stop but they say they will continue to do it. I believe the GOP has become a terrorist organization bent on over throwing this country and they should be stopped...each Rep leader should be stripped of power and the entire party should be disbanded and revamped it's filled with vile, crooked, criminals.

Also hear this, right now before the election Trump adm gave huge subsidies to the farmers 40% of all farm income is now in form of a handout from the US Govt. That is buying loyalty...I personally think farm subsidies should be stopped!!  IF it's not a viable business why is it being done...they have crop insurance!! WTH???? I don't want to support a failing sector of the economy with my tax dollars. 

The GOP push their new judge into a seat that she does not deserve to sit in...they lied to the American public when they said they would not sit a justice in the last yr of the term...Lindsey pretty much signed his own pink slip with that one...Jamie Harrison raised more money this quarter than any other Democrat candidate running!! GO JAMIE you got my vote.

It's Tuesday and Jimmy goes to Denver for what I hope is his last check up he is doing really well...a great success story so there is the good in this picture.  My son has a job again that is good.  The fall weather will return tomorrow that is good...Im looking for some good news here...I don't have corona virus that is good.  

IM heading over to the cemetery today to remove mom's birthday balloon, I don't want it to blow away so I will put it away till next year it may or may not stay inflated hope it does..

Soon it will be time to put the Christmas wreath sis bought for her last year on her crypt...that is probably the only decorating I will do.  Im not in the mood for all the Materialism that has become Christmas, and it's all about family it's only me and my son he has little interest but we will probably have a meal or something...
Last yr my sis who was still here put on a small Christmas for us, that is the kind I prefer the little tree stood on a table, it was 12 inches tall...and we each opened up a tiny prezzie..and we had a simple meal with a toast to our missing loved ones...that's all it needs to be about.  

Since I can't bring myself to believe Jesus was the son of a God it has never had religious significance to me. It was always been about getting together with family and having a day of laughs and good food and good moods. 

Last night I dreamed I moved! I was living somewhere else...and it felt nice.  This morning I looked at homesteads in New Mexico...a house with no electric no running water on 8 acres $35,000 It was in the desert how could you live in there with no AC if I go off grid it has to be at least  8,000 ft to be cool in summer.  I'll keep looking.  

I feel oddly out of sorts mentally today.  I can't put my finger on it, but I feel unsettled I think this election has me questioning my own believe system, the rules I was raised to support and believe in are being tromped to death...it makes one question ,"okay if that's all hogwash now then what am I  supposed to think or feel."  Most of my extended family in TN, MI, and IN support the other side...they are trapped in a time machine that quit moving in 1865. 

 I got in mine and blasted myself into the future...me and my 3 sisters..NO wonder my Mom was so Happy to get out of TN and when she left she told my Dad Im not leaving here you go where you want but this is my home now.  I guess she felt free to be away from that oppressiveness, it is a real feeling when you think you're rights are being manipulated by people who are the exact opposite  of  who you are.  Very helpless feeling. 

Im sure if we had a huge anti GOP demonstration Trump would use F-15's to fry  us on the spot...I mean look at the violence the small protests of the summer caused.  We are watching the fall of a democracy.  It makes me feel really sad and very deflated.  

Well I'm just one person who has no power and my life will soon come to an end...I hope there is some connection to the afterworld cause I want to know...

Many indigenous people believe there is a civilization of humans living below ground...maybe that is where the souls go when we put our loved one beneath the soil..