The SUN came out so...

E MOVE ON....

I knew I was sinking into a bad place all week and I think it just came to a head yesterday and that release of grief and fear helped me.  I am not one of those people who can keep pain inside.  So I did a lot of self healing yesterday and I have some residual but I feel better.  

There are things going on with my son that I don't share out of respect for his privacy I don't go into details about my family's life what they do and they don't do...but since he moved here I have been dragged thru the wringer with him and alot of the time my lows also involve something he did or didn't do is more to the point! Just so you know it's not just me going bonkers, I am exposed to many triggers  that push my buttons. 
The rash is getting better, I did not take Benadryl last evening, and so far none today so that's improvement. 

I don't do well when there's too much sadness happening at once...who does? Many people are not affected by it, I wouldn't be either if I could just get away sometimes, but right now  that's not gonna happen. I am between a rock and a hard place...BUT end of the month Im going to be going away for 4 days and 3 nights...so I hope that ends up being a good thing.  

I walked this morning, then did some work with my plants getting them ready to be brought inside for winter....and some regular stuff filled up the bird feeders, bird bath, and other random chores.  I got my ice cooler working again with the replacement 12 volt  wire and it's now ready to chill my food on the trip I will have an electric site for a change so that means I bring a different set of accessories with me.  This cooler runs on either  AC/DC.  The 12 volt part of it was not making good contact now with the new 12 volt plug its great. And I have a one cup electric coffee pot, and I will bring a small fan if it's hot and a small space heater if it's cold!  Normally I am in a non electric site but my sis did this reservation so it was not my choice...but this whole campground is electric.  Just not full hook ups, they have a dump station on the way out for those with a large rig like my sister's. 

I am currently looking to order a 12 volt electric blanket for my camp kit also.  Just to heat up the bed, and then most have a timer on them you can set it for 20 mins or whatever...

One of my favorite youtubers, Tideline to Alpine, had a live steam last evening, that was fun because she has never done one before and I like the way she didn't spend anytime sitting there saying "hello to each and every name that was there, can you see me, can you hear me,  etc." she just starting talking and she ignored the whole side chat thing but did take some questions in the second half hour...so that was cool..I want to be her when I grow up...she is half my age and has learned so many of the lessons I didn't learn till I was 50 yrs old...and I think it was a brain injury she had at 16 that helped her get such insight...Me I got a crushed foot so should of been my head, eh? She has been living off grid for 8 years! Now she is in a van, but she doesn't burn up the road either.  She lives in BC, and she has family who live in BC too so sometimes she is just driveway surfing so she also has family help from time to time. 

AND she is a complete "cruelty free channel"...YIPPIE Which I realize now is why I am at odds with some of the youtubers I watch...NOW Im not going to go so far as to say I will only support vegans, which she is by the way, but at least no fish killing or animal killing as part of their content!! She is not the only Vegan I watch I know  at least 3 of them are, and at least one Vegetarian,  and some of the men I watch are not huge into meat eating either.  I would love to find more  Vegan men to follow, and more people of color.  I follow one Vegetarian man, I follow one lady who is vegetarian, black and lesbian.  She is not one of my favorites tho I do enjoy some of her content she gets stuck in the whole "gear head" thing and forgets to just do life. 

See one thing this young lady said is this...

"I don't want to work for someone or some company who uses me to make money and then use that money to do things in the world that I don't support or live a life style I don't support." SEE that is what I'm talking about, it's not like you're being a jerk, you're standing in the shoes you want to stand in.  But You tube is part of Google and we all know Google has a lot of clout! BUT Google does some good they are about fighting climate change, and the CEO a little bg here is an Indian born now American. Sundar Pichai, (born in 1972)  (shorten version of his full name) He came up thru the tech geek side with a scholarship to Stanford, where he got a masters in Engineering, eventually ended up at Google in 2004 and  was working on Chrome interfaces with Firefox, and Microsoft, and then Android Smartphone OS,  he was raised as normal kid with parents who wanted a better life for their children he worked his way up thru the rank and file from head of Product Management and Development to the CEO.

So now I feel better about the 2 channels  that I ditched and  unsubscribed to who decided they want to kill animals as part of their content, in the way of hunting.  That was not part of their original content.  I did suspect one but the girl who decided to begin hunting really shocked me, cause I had no clue.  I don't want my likes, clicks, or subscription to be funding that kind of behavior.  I watch some catch and release fishing even that gets under my skin and I fast forward or just dont watch that episode if they are going to be fishing. Even catch n release to me is not good.  I DONT even support the banding or tagging of animals for research, that is not why we are here. 
The channels I watch are Decent van lifers, hikers, backpackers, adventure travel,  tiny house living, homesteaders and gardeners and DIY mechanics.  

WE know how to be good stewards of the land and wildlife, we chose not to is all...period. Like the broken pipeline, it should not be there in the first place. Now the powers that be are looking for WHY this line ruptured they want to blame a German ship that may have dragged an anchor over it, well if it wasnt there in the first place...duh so I blame 2 bodies,  first off the US & State Government for allowing off shore drilling and second the company that put it there in the first place.  And why did the coast guard have to be the one to go down and inspect the pipe?? Don't these companies who are doing the drilling have specialized teams of their own to deal with this?? Answer NO they don't It's like handling rattle snakes and yet not having any antivenom on site. DUH. 

I feel like such a hypocrite when I talk about the oil n gas industry...

I wish I was in a place to afford a second vehicle.  I want a smart car or an all electric car.  I don't do a lot of driving but my van is old and  it uses a lot of fuel.  I bought the van to travel in and that does save a lot I don't have to stay in motels when I travel, which means LESS electric is used from the grid, just keeping one room in use has to pull a big load from the grid, clean sheets daily, daily vacuuming, the AC or heat running daily, etc.  I don't pull a trailer which uses more gas, So that is how I justify using the van.  

In the beginning I had a 2 door  Blazer also...and I would drive it back n forth and use the van for trips.   The Blazer easily got 20-25 mpg highway use....but I ended up giving my son  the Blazer, long story, and he drove it into the ground and last year had to scrap it when the head gasket blew after he ignored a radiator leak!!

I Just checked Carvana you can get a used Smart Car for about $10- $12,000.  THATS a lot of money! But you could probably save that in fuel costs in just a couple years....they get like 800 miles to the tank.  Which is about 10 gallons. Hopefully in a couple more years there will be lots of used electric cars on the market. It would be so cool to have a little smart car delivered to my backyard or go to the car vending machine and have a little smart car roll out like a can of soda.  I could buy one with my credit card!! It's honestly something I have considered!!

Anyways my mind unlocked and now Im back to my normal hard to get along with and quirky self.