Again

EATHER MAN IS WRONG!

The sun is supposed to be shining but it's not it's completely socked in with grey clouds...very depressing for me.  My Mom had to sit in front of a light for a month, I don't think that does any good unless you do it every day for life.  I def have an aversion to cloudy weather.  Libra is an air sign so I guess when I look up I wanna see blue sky over my head.  

Back in the day my best friend was a Capricorn.  I mean she still is a Capricorn, but we are not best friends any longer.  If you read the Zodiac, Libra does not pair well with Virgo or Capricorn. We got along well till I finally saw thru the mask she wore.  She actually told me she wore a mask, and I was always thinking metaphorically but didn't realize she had it on when she was with ME.  When the unveiling happened it hit me like a stone.  She was putting on a face for me, but why??? If you must work that hard to have someone in your life it's hardly worth it.  But the truth came rushing in like a breeched dam and I ended our friendship in swift gush or words.  

I accidentally erased that email. She told me she had no phone for the last 3 years of our friendship so I could not call her, she lived too far away for visits, and so email is how we stayed in touch between visits...there was always lies, and weird things that didn't add up.  I managed to explain them away in a rational way as Libra is a very rational thinker.  I found out later she had a phone, a cell  phone she kept with her at all times!!  OF course she had a lie to explain that too...her son had gotten a "free Obama phone" and it didn't work out in the boonies where he was so he got on a phone plan and gave her the Obama phone ONLY a day before I found out she had it...how amazing eh?  That was a huge lie, the phone was hers.  But the straw came in 2015.

I had big plans for a month long road trip to the Pacific Northwest.  My friend, who had just been laid off her job was living in an old boyfriends (who she was also stringing along) mobile home to be close to that job she had.  The mobile home leaked like crazy with every rain and she said mold had begun to develop.  So she owned a home but her whack job son was living there. What happened is her mom died, she moved into her mom's house and then the son moved in with her, and he was so impossible to deal with when she landed the job in a town about 40 minutes away and the x boyfriend had moved to Charleston to take a job there  his place was empty so one thing led to another and she moved over there, that is the short version of that story.  

So....now that job ended so she wanted to get back into her house so she told me she was going to be going over to her house to clean out one of the bedrooms and make room for her belongings so she could move back in, if she could afford the gas to make the drives back n forth. This is something she had been talking of doing for months!!

 NOW I understand how impossible that could have been, living with him. He was on disability for mental reasons...which is where I think my own son is headed by the way.  We will see...but he is telling me he is getting hired at another retail job, he went to do the paper work and was in a PANIC later just from dealing with that so I don't see how it will ever become a reality...but back to my story. 

 

SO we were going to be gone 2 months at least.  I was at that time living with my Mom who was 91.  So in order for me to take this trip I would travel my Mom and my 3 dogs to Colorado where they (except for Casey who went with me) would stay with my sis for the month while I traveled and and I would spend some time there as well after I retuned from the trip...so I offered for my friend to come stay at our house and use it as a home base for getting that room in her house ready for her to move into...Since our house was about 15 minutes or so from the house she inherited from her mom.  

In return she would keep the sticks picked up that I knew would fall in the yard, keep the bird feeders filled, and of course take care of the house.  Sooo...that was the arrangement.  She asked me if she could invite her bother and his wife over for dinner one night while she was staying there and I said sure why not.  So we had   a landline phone in the house and I would call every so often to see how she was etc...

Now all this time she had been telling me she was over there moving things around etc...since her mother passed some things had been shifted into the room, and when she moved out her son had begun to stash things in there and it sounded like a mess to be honest...but she had been telling me her plan. There was a storage building that she would go thru first to make room for what she would keep...and she had a 30 ft airstream camper in the yard, if the room didn't work she was gonna get the air stream ready to live in and she could hook right into the electric and septic system there...OK...that was the plan. I even offered to move the air stream TO our yard to make it easy for her to accomplish the work she wanted to do inside, but she had 11 thousand reasons why that would not work....

 Two weeks before we were arriving back home I called her, no answer, I left a message on the machine...and  no return call so I emailed her.  I wanted to give her plenty of time to get herself moved into her house or the airstream before we arrived back home.  

She finally answered my email about 2 days before we arrived home...during that time I had tried again to contact her with no reply...I was a little upset and didn't answer right away in fact I waited 9 days which is how long it took her to finally answer me. In that time she must of emailed me 3 times asking if we arrived safe, are we ok, she hasn't heard from me, yada yada. 

 She did not move into her house or the airstream...and she did not keep up our place up, it was dirty, she didn't take the trash away, (we live rural area you have to take your own trash away to a center) she did not pick up the sticks, the bird feeders were a moldy wet mess, one of our recliner chairs was broken and unusable, the floor was not clean, the oven was a mess where she had cooked, she left old stale food in the fridge,  and she had moved back into the mobile home of the old boyfriends. 

So that to me just told me I was dealing with someone who had no intentions of ever following through with what she said she would do and not just that but through the years she had done some pretty mind blowing things that I never fully understood.  So I just laid it out and said "I really have lost my connection to you, for the person you are showing me is NOT who you are." 

And the dishonesty of who she was vs who she pretended to be was what caused me to completely back away. It was not real, she was not real, she was faking it! 

So the reason I'm thinking of this is now is I understand some things that I did not fully understand at the time.  I don't condone but I do get it.  Anyways I was thinking of her yesterday and I wonder how she is.  About a year ago I was out in the area near her house and so I made a turn and drove past it, her car, the one she had been driving was there and it had tall grass around it like it's not being driven  and has not been for a long time. There was a motorcycle in the yard and a big Ram Truck...so I have to wonder if she is living there or was it the son living there still? He always did have a motorcycle in his life. She is old enough now to be retired...she was 4 yrs younger than I.  

So I guess I will never know how things are going in her life.  I hope she was finally able to lay the mask down and be who she is.  I have to wonder was any part of her personality real, or was it all make believe?