Milestones...

hen we think about life and the entirety of it, it seems so short this is why we must reflect on the moments...that is where the reality is.  Our  milestones show us how short it really is:
I am one of 3 kids, I lost my dad at age 11 to alcoholism, he was 53,  graduated high school and left home at age 16,   married at  21,  opened my business at age 22,  found my beloved horse Sundance when I was 23,  gave birth to my son at age 28, found my best friend at 34, lost my beloved Sundance at age 44,  Son graduated high school I was 46 yrs old,  closed my business age 47 and moved to NYC watched Twin Towers fall to the ground that same year, became a Paramedic at 48, my son graduated college I was 52, moved back to SC at 54 to help my Mom,  helped elect the first Black POTUS at 56,  I became a grandmother at 58, x divorced me at 59, forced to retire at age 60, lost my best friend at 63, had to take my son in when his life imploded at 65,  Now he barely speaks to me, lost my  x Husband at age 65 and 1/2,   lost my beloved Mother at 66, and lost my sweet sweet love Casey just a couple months ago....
I see a pattern in this...each gain followed by a huge and mostly tragic loss.   And as I try to make sense of it all I stream into the future on a river of tears, and I wake  every single day wondering what loss is coming my way and will I be able to continue to breathe?