A Pillar of Salt,

ENT FOR A WALK 

Before Breakfast today it was cool enough to do that for the first time in like 9 days...I truly enjoyed it too.  Song birds were singing, bees were buzzing, and a breeze was stirring.  That is what makes life pleasant.  

Yesterday, in my continuing pursuit of peace and happiness I spent some time with the Buddhist monk and it did  help me to put some things into perspective.  He said he had gone to his mom at one point in his old life (like I want to go to mine) and had told her of his suffering.  He came to America as a refugee back when he was a child and so his family roots are in Buddhism and  after he told his mother how a break  up from his significant other had completely destroyed him,  he didn't know how to heal inside and he didn't understand why this had happened to him.
She gave him one word...

KARMA. 

Damn!! This is what is hard to swallow.  She told him stop all the bad things you are doing and create more merit, good deeds. It's like a jar of water with salt, if you keep adding salt it gets so bitter and salty, stop adding salt and  add water.  Keep doing good deeds of merit, add the good water.  

If you give but with regret that is not a good deed.   You must give with a pure heart.  I will keep trying.  I had a bad week last week and I dumped a lot of salt into my jar!! 

Meditate and purify your mind...stop doing bad!! Don't recall it don't ruminate, it's over and we are here and now.  

So last weeks salt must be diluted...another thing he said is you don't need to announce your merits, in fact it should be a personal thing.  You know your merits and you know your salt.  

Some  ideas he gave was donating.  Goods, blood, money, food, helping someone who is in need.  The intention of the giving...is  you feel proud and you feel good about it, feel good when  you are giving, and you feel good after you give.  DO not put salt on your Offering! 

OH why did I do that?

Are  you giving just to cut down your tax bill or is it because you really want to help?  
The deed must be pure of heart. 

Another good lesson from the Venerable Nick

I've got a lot of salt to dilute.

The danger of Productivity. 

This is an area where I have had many questions in my own life.  When I had my business...I ran into this.  I wanted a way to support myself and be happy doing it.  So I was lucky that I found that thing when I was a young girl.  I had always worked outside, riding horses, working with horses.  I enjoyed that...but then I realized I did not like USING horses for profit.  I just wanted to be with Horses cause I love the energy and honesty of horses.  

So I stumbled upon Upholstery thanks to my Mom, she had a chair given to her the cover was in bad condition but the chair was still sturdy and strong...So she said "I'd like to put a new cover on this chair."   So we looked at it, this was a simple chair with only a small back and a seat the arms were wood and it seemed fairly simple, so we took the cover off and we got some material and we recovered that chair.  

Then I did another chair that belong to my land lady, we were renting a furnished apartment my husband and I.  She loved the work I did and she asked me to do a couch...SO I did and before  you know it I had so many requests to do furniture I created a business. 
A couple years later and I had more work than I could do I hired one worker, trained her and together we put out a lot of work.  But people pushed they wanted me to do more be more hire more people grow grow grow, but that is not what I wanted.  I set boundaries, I closed at 3 pm every single day I did not allow the market to dictate to me...this is how I was happy  running my shop for 26 more years. 

I would get  home in time to go for a ride with my horse Sundance...

I ran my business, my business did not run me. 

Once I was lied to by someone I considered a friend someone whom I had tried to help.  She was in business similar to me, she was a seamstress and mostly she did draperies, window treatments, and some slip covers.  She came to me and told me she had lost the building she was renting to do her business when she encountered so many medical bills she could not pay her rent.  She told me she had been diagnosed with uterine cancer And had to have a hysterectomy and would under go chemo and radiation therapy.  So I offered to her the back room in my Upholstery business RENT free...to help her get back on her feet. 

About 8 months later I found out she was coming in at night and using my machines to do upholstery work on her own and that she never had cancer.  It was all a lie.  She  was using me for free rent and sneaking in and using my equipment and supplies after hours to  grow her business and expand into doing Upholstery also...a conflict of interest to me. 

Really hurt to be betrayed by someone I trusted and was  trying to help so Bitterness was the seed that grew out of that attempt to do good deeds. I just ruminated....damn. 

I'm going to need more water....