WA WA

HO NEEDS TO RANT?

I do!!
 I have tried to charm my mental stress but lately the pile has grown out of  bounds...

What pile you ask?  The stuff gone wrong pile is the one Im referring to.  My Mom was always good to listen to me when I had to let off some steam about things  bugging me, and I did the same for her.   I got no one to hear me out so I will just put it in a post...I mean literally in the last 72 hrs sooooo many things have jumped up like a spitting python and got me square in the brain..

1.First lets go to Thursday afternoon...my son ran out of gas, I went to help and had to pull off the edge of the road, NOW I have a flat tire.  Probably a sharp object made a slow leak in my tire...Stress. NO good deed goes unpunished. 

2. I was doing him a favor he is trying to start a new job and his phone was destroyed when it fell out of the car side pocket and before he saw it he slammed the door on it,  and the whole screen cracked and then it got wet and now it's not readable.  So I ordered him a new phone.  It was shipped to arrive Aug 5th. 

 But it went to Florence a town 40 miles from here and its sitting in a Fed Ex warehouse, says its on a truck "out for delivery."..Thats been 72 hrs  ago...didn't get here on the 5th, as promised, not the 6th, and not today either the 7th...so I called twice, got a lady  could barely speak English and she said she is putting a tracker on it, IF I put" hold for pickup" then I have an 80 mile round trip drive and I have a flat tire and no tires shops are open in this town on weekends!! I pumped up the tire and will keep inflating it till Monday!  (I have a compressor) Yes we could go in his car but the  point is I paid to have it delivered....That hub has done this to me before when I had purchased a new window regulator...they put it on a shelf and said "they needed more info on the address." that was BS  they just didn't want to send a truck over here with only one box to deliver. 

STRESS

3. I put my camera  up for sale on Ebay, I don't like the Nikon I purchased...so it sold.  BUT since I last used Ebay they have unlinked my Paypal so I normally get my funds via Paypal, I had to put my banking info in there I don't like that and I have to wait till Aug 20th to get paid, soon as I do I will be deleting my bank info but that's 2 weeks.  More STRESS.

4. Back in May I heard a Sedge Wren in the new park I've been birding, some background:  this is a newly opened park where sewage ponds once were.  In my county there are about 4 active birders including me.  The other 3 bird in their own backyards and rarely go to other spots in the county so the county is very Under Birded mainly due to access, all private land. 
 So Im the only one who has been turning in lists to ebird for this park.  So I heard a Sedge Wren, put it on my list and I tried to get a recording of it since it never came out of the reeds to be photographed.  I used play back and  the wren answered it.  In my recording all you could  hear was some Red Winged Blackbirds, and mowers as the upkeep crew was mowing.  I got only one snip of the Wren at the very tail end of the recording and it's barely audible... but I put the audio up anyways...
SO  more back story...a new ebird reviewer took over the midland area of the state and he was pulling out lists from months back and asking for more info more details, photos, etc...Well trust me what I have has already been submitted.  The job of the reviewer is volunteer and its so they can keep data.  Okay I think ebird has taken it way to the extreme now a days  our Rare  lists are full of birds that are NOT rare they are trying to cubby hole birds into these time lines that are not realistic imho...birds are individuals...they can go where they please when they please...at the time I recorded the Wren it was NOT rare for that time of year. It was listed as rarely reported, like I said no one has been submitting reports, their algorithm is off. 

So they guy really started to get on my nerves, "are you sure it was 8 or maybe you just thought you saw 8 Kestrels?" Hell NO man I counted the  birds one by one there was 8. 

He is to confirm the sighting or not...I really don't care it's not important to me if it's confirmed...its only for my own list keeping.   I keep a list mainly to share with my sis who also is into birding and just as a hobby.  

SO when I submitted the audio of the wren back in May he questioned it, Not reported there before,..DUH no one had birded there but ME since it opened...he said all he could hear on that audio was Red Wing Blackbird so I said I will remove the audio, so I did.  BUT he wrote me again this was about the 10th email from this guy in like a months time...So I was annoyed with him to begin with.  He said "remove the Sedge Wren and add an Additional RWBL.

I am not in the habit of taking orders from anyone. I ignored his email and actually decided to block him...Aww bliss not having his demanding emails making me search my photos to see if I had pictures of a bird or anything else I tried to comply but honestly FUCK it..

So he could not email me anymore...but he figured out I had blocked his ebird email so he emailed me using HIS PERSONAL EMAIL account.  
He said I thought we had discussed this was a RWBB and I see you did not remove  it.  Good thing he was not in the room with me, he'd have a black eye about now.  He was not there he did NOT hear the bird, yet he wants me to LIE.  NO I won't do it...so I put that checklist as UNLISTED so he can no longer even see it.  And I told him "Please leave me alone." 
I can't be any more clear that that.  I went to ebird and submitted a ticket, meaning I have a problem....and I reported the guy.  I believe when someone blocks you from sending them emails from the organization they represent, to then GO and use their OWN email account to continue to harass is just damn mean and, an abuse of power going on.. I told ebird if he tried to contact me again I will report it and expect them to do SOMETHING about it, this is all voluntary.....HE can leave the sighting UNCONFIRMED that is all he has to do, but not good enough for him..I told ebird in my comment, he will do exactly what he wants to do regardless of what proof I could submit, what proof does  he have that the wren was not there?? IN all the surrounding counties the Sedge Wren was reported in MAY...IT only makes sense to me they are here too...why would they NOT come to the this county and yet to all the surrounding counties????
There is always A FIRST TIME for everything, did that ever occur to him that is the first TIME?? Like I said no one in this county even bothers to do ebird county wide Im the only one... up until 2 yrs ago we never had Scissor Tailed Flycatcher nesting in York county NOW they do...and We never had Limpkin nesting in the Low Country but now we do...and that same park,,,,there's never been Painted Buntings nesting but NOW THEY do I had photos of that or he would have been brow beating me over that.  

STRESS.

So this has been an especially hard 3 days for me, I need my mommy to talk to..

:0(

Fear-

hat is fear why do we have it and why does it control so much of our thinking process and why do we make decisions out of fear?

I looked up fear--and it is worth noting that fear is a response to help us escape danger and anxiety always relates to future events, such as worsening of a situation, or continuation of a situation that is unacceptable. Anxiety is a state of fear--and fear falls in the same category as joy, and happiness! So right in the same box of emotions we can choose fear, anxiety, joy, or happiness! But why do we let fear force us into a state of mind we don't want to be in? I always ask this question--what's the worst that can happen? Unless my answer is Death...then should I still have fear and be in a state of anxiety? Stress leads to fear and that leads to anxiety and that's a circle complete...-Stress to Fear--Fear to Anxiety--Anxiety builds more Stress...and on and on.

Fear is a way to protect ourselves, control others, and is not a good state of mind to be in. When we are in a state of fear or anxiety, our heart rate is increased by adrenaline, a hormone secreted from the adrenal gland and also known as Epinephrine...its one of the neurotransmitters. I had to learn all this when I attended the Methodist Hospital's Paramedic Training Program, in 2002 in Brooklyn, NY. As a medic student we had an A & P course same as Doctors it was one very intense year of training. I remembered much of my Anatomy & Physiology from high school, I always loved science and biology...but learning how Epi affects our body was an eye opener for me!

Not only does it increase heart rate, it constricts arteries throughout the skin and digestive tract and floods the core of the body with blood. (this is why anxiety gives you numb feet and hands) It also elevates blood sugar and glucose levels and suppresses the immune system!.. SO being in a state of fear can cause tachycardia, palpitations, arrhythmia's, anxiety, headache, tremor, hypertension, hyperglycemia, pulmonary edema and other symptoms and illness!

Fear symptoms can mimic other problems! Many times I responded to calls of chest pain to find a patient really stressed and having a panic attack! Sometimes just the calm demeanor of me and my partner helped the patient and they began to have relief from the attack.

But why should paying car insurance, putting a kid through college, dealing with our mate cause fear and anxiety? Can we control this ? The fear of not being where we need to be in life can cause a stroke, heart attack, hyper anxiety, and can lead to suicidal thoughts!..THESE are good reasons to chill out! Think about what you can let go and what you must deal with and deal with it as soon as possible to relieve the anxiety and let go of the fear. Don't take everything so seriously...and by all means simplify your life to include down time!!!

We can control stress, fear, and anxiety if we really choose our thoughts...pushing back negative emotions or thoughts can keep fear in controlled levels. This is another thing I learned while working as a paramedic---allowing calm to overtake fear--in order to think more clearly and not allow adrenaline to rush through my system and put me in a hypersensitive state of mind, I choose to remain as calm as possible.

When we allow stress and fear to control us we are in a constant hyper-state! Our heart is racing, yet its not an aerobic workout --we get very little physical benefit from this state...we get headaches due to the crash that comes after an epi-high--the epi hangover! Some people have to stop and rest for a long period of time to recover from this hyper-elevated state of being. This can bring on PTSD in soldiers and Paramedics,...and its why I got out of the Emergency Medical Field...

To beat fear and stress...I walk, spend as much time in nature as possible, I have pets to help keep me in sync and I do believe Yoga is a great way to handle stress, although lately Ive been a real slacker with that---just writing this encourages me to get back to dealing with stress and not allowing it to become fear.


~Let each be his own and you be your own, and let us share who we are~