Light my fire?

, IS for WRITTIN'S

I hope I can finally get another job done on my van myself...Im creeping up on 70 yrs old so my DIY life is about to come to an end.  My Van's AC selector knob is not clicking as it moves from Vents, Defrost, Upper, Lower Vents etc.   MY Van is officially 21 yrs old now...and that means more and more when I search for parts it will be listed as: 
Out of Stock..meaning no one has it.  I found some used ones on ebay $149.  WOW I won't pay that, cause I can hit the knob with my hand and make it work...annoying tho...I assume the contact points are worn down so not making contact so I had a back up plan to remove it and solder the contact to make it larger..

I have to order the complete 3 knob thing it has the fan speed control on it, the temp selector, and the Heat AC Vent selector.  So I can hopefully pull off only the part I need and stick it in there and save the rest for the future.   I do have to order the whole component just to get this one piece off it.  
I found one by doing a Used Salvage Parts search where Salvage yards list parts they have on, like a clearing house...So I emailed they have it and it's ready for purchase...$35 plus shipping...

So I asked how to go about getting it ordered and hopefully he will answer soon and I can get it AND it should be a simple fix...

So wish me luck.

My right hip joint is still out of whack.  Somedays I can barely walk...without pain meds I can't.  And then when I sit down it gets so stiff, like it will never bend again...Yeah I know it totally sucks. So many repairs I put on the back burner now my pilot light is going out!  Before you know it I will be Out of Stock!

Today was spent...

ITH ACHING BACK...

Picking up the dogs yesterday hurt my back...and today it's been giving me a fit.  Every time I move...and I just got the SI problem to stop hurting, seems lately Im just falling short.

Im not doing a good job with anything these days.  Im not doing right by my dogs, Im not doing right by my place so much is going undone.  I think I need to make some big changes to my life...but HOW.  I just don't have the energy and strength I once had...I have to face that.  JUST going on this little camp trip has cost me a lot of worry and it shouldn't but the way my life is now it is.  I should not have agreed to go along...I just didn't think about the big picture.  

Its' hot today I sure hope it wont be this hot down there next week cause I will be quite uncomfy. Im taking a fan of course but that only helps when you're sitting right in front of it.  

Today I did something I never do I shopped for shoes in a real shoe store. I got a pair of sketchers that feel pretty good on my feet.  I must wear them a little each day to get them broken in...So I will take those and my old trusty ones that are worn out. 

My life is too streamlined and that is the trouble. I am very set in my ways.  I was not always this way but  I evolved into this...I def want and desire the simple life and that is what I have but when ONE other person is interjected into that it becomes almost a road block.  

Anyways just observations about aging in place...

Yes,

E GET OLD WITHOUT REALIZING IT

My drivers license has to be renewed in 2025, but I have decided to do it soon, probably next month for a couple of reasons.  
My eyesight is getting worse all the time, I want to pass the eye test now and then the license should be good for 10 yrs.  I can still see but it's not good and I can't see how to drive at night anymore!! There is a halo around lights that blinds me. 

We all have to get this thing called a Real ID which is more govt BS but we gotta do it...so I guess I will get a real ID when I go for the new License.  You have to show up with 2 or three forms of Identification,  My sis is at the eye dr today getting a new prescript for her glasses cause she has to renew in Jan for her license.  She has really bad eye sight since 7yrs of age she had scarlet fever or something when she was a kid and I doubt she got treatment for it since our parents were dirt poor  and lived in backwoods Appalachia.  

So the other day when we spoke this is the story she told me about another friend who is a male older than sis, not sure of his exact age, but between 75 and 80 yrs old.  An independent person who manages his own life, etc.  He had gone on a camping trip and on his way home he decided to stop and get his eyes examined while in a bigger town...and get new glasses at one of the exam and glasses in an hour places. BUT instead of that they TOOK his drivers license away from him...and told him he could NOT drive he was legally blind!!  

HE was shocked he had to phone a friend to come get him and drive him home...while a second friend drove his car back home...I have no idea if he can get surgery or treatment for his condition...but what a shock...SO I say don't leave anything to chance these days..

I recall back when my mom was 73 we were in a horrible car accident, she was nearly killed but during the incident she was conscious the entire time until they put her under with drugs to intubate her at the hospital.

Her license was a little over a month left to expire when she got home so I took her up to get it renewed...and they ask you some questions...one of them is, in the past 6 months have you been knocked unconscious, or had a seizure. 

She answered "YES", I immediately said "NO she was not" and the anal woman behind the counter listened to me explain how my mom had been injured but not a head injury she had several broken ribs and sternum and could not breath so she was sedated and put on a ventilator for 10 days...BUT she was not "knocked unconscious".  

BUT then the woman says..."but she answered yes.. She will have to be cleared by a doctor of Neurology before she can renew her license".  I nearly fell over...what???

So we had to contact her doctor to find out how we could get this neurology check up and he made arrangements, and just in case we also got an eye exam so she would be able to pass the eye exam.  

IT was a huge ordeal but we got it done just in time before her license expired...she continued driving till she was 86 yrs old and had hip surgery and could no longer move her right leg quick enough to safely drive.  

Her license expired on her 93rd birthday and we got an official State ID in place of a Driver's License.  She sold her car when she was 90 BUT the last time she drove was in 2011.  I was driving my Chevy Blazer at that time...and I had seen a Van on a used car lot that I really wanted to buy I had stopped in and driven it and one day I decided to make an offer, and he accepted, that's when I bought my van.  So I drove home and got Mom, she drove the Blazer for the first time on her last time driving...and she had no problems at all.  I followed behind her in the van, and made sure no one got too close to her and she drove like a pro.  

She was so proud of herself and I was so proud for her.  We were both very happy that day I got my van and she got to drive one last time. 

I sure hope my sis's exam goes well...she is 72 if they take away her license today she is gonna need to phone a friend...and my other sis is on a road trip  currently in Idaho. 

Be very careful how you answer these questions that we are asked as we get older, I think I would ask "why are you asking me that?" This can give you a hint as to what may be coming next depending on your answer.  I would not want anyone who has seizures driving on the road next to me, but each circumstance is different.   In fact research what kind of questions you may be asked  before you go so you can be prepared to answer. 

Hopefully we all can drive right up the day we can no longer do it safely Mom often told me the thing she missed most was not being able to drive anymore. But she was lucky she had me to take her anywhere she needed or wanted to go. 

At least these days we can order anything we need and have it delivered as long as we can pay for it...so being stuck at home is not as bad as it was back in the day...

In the end...

HO CARES WHAT I THINK?

Nobody but anyways that was my thoughts on the Afghan crisis which will get worse before it gets better...

This has been a really awful summer for me.  I just was not able to push through the heat and keep to my routine of exploring and birding and hiking.  Hottest July on record, but here it's been the humidity, outrageous...most days it begins at 95% then as the sun  burns some of that moisture off and meanwhile the temperature rises, so it just goes from hot to hotter as the day progresses...it's hard to do my chores in the coolness of morning since there is no coolness of morning.  I went out last night at 11 pm it was 82 degrees...and 55% humidity..it felt like a sauna bath.  It leaves you limp and zaps your brain of it's alertness. 

So I am trying to take a mile walk at least 3 times a week not always happening...so my sis sent me a link to a Seniors  15 minute workout.  And it's really pretty good.  It's easy to do and I do feel like I have had a workout at the end of it, I'm going to embed below so  if any of you want to try it I suggest it.  If we all did this workout once a day we would improve our physical fitness Im positive. 

So today I did get that walk it was 77 and 88% humidity at 8:30 am...and I pushed thru and was done with my mile by 9 am...I got up at 8 so pretty much it's out of the  pj's and into the walking shoes...see this is what I dislike...I love to slowly wake up over coffee but I saved my coffee and put ice in it when I got back home.   

I had some mowing to do on the riding mower the only workout there is pulling it out of the mower garage, and then turning the wheel which is not like power steering and pushing the blade on and off handle which is quite a bicep work out, but only one one side!

I was soaked with sweat when I came in, you sweat automatically you don't even have to move one finger....imagine sitting in a tub of hot water, you know how it feels when you go into a hot spring? That is what it feels like.  So straight in the shower once I was in basically used NO hot water just cool water to cool me down, and then had my breakfast.  

GE get on the stick and start manufacturing AC units in this country again...if you don't China could hold us hostage...literally.  News reports yesterday said people can't find them...especially in areas where there has never been a need for it, like Washington and Oregon....they had highs of 116F this July and 1260 people in Canada and the USA died of heat related/induced problems...many are elderly who have no fans and no ac and no one who gives a damn...

This report tells me one thing AC units will become scarce.  And especially since Manufacturers don't even have them on the shelf year round this seasonal marketing BS same as no seeds on the shelf except certain times of the year? Wtf?  So I normally have to replace an AC unit about every 4 or 5 years...I have 3 currently.  I can not afford to run a central AC the electric bill is too  high!  When the one in this house was 15 yrs old it quit and we just went with window units cheaper to buy easy to replace etc...but now there will be a shortage, Should I go ahead and buy one and keep it in my shed till I need it?   I'm sure everyone is planning to do that.  

Okay so here's the video as promised..."sweat is fat drying" 

Hope you will give it a try. 

Cold n

INDY 

so I hung around home...topped up the feeders, picked up all the camellia flowers that fell off due to the wind, I have 3 big bushes in full bloom...such a shame to see all the flowers on the ground, I picked some tender romaine, swiss chard, arugula, and cut some micro greens to top off a leafy salad, with a baked potato and the remainder of the black beans  that was dinner.  I ate early I don't like to eat late. 

The planting bed I dug out last week I put a layer of lime, 10 10 10 fertilizer, and some bone meal and dug that in.  I have some flower seed packs of California poppy I think I'd like to put those seeds in that area...with some Sweet William.  

 

I cut another broccoli head and one more is trying to form,,,it's late tho so may not make...the onion seeds I planted are coming up along with the onion sets..I hope the sets will be my early crop and then the seedlings if I can keep them alive all year will be a fall crop.

Recall the leaky supply line on the toilet, I took it all off again today put some pipe dope on it and still it has a small bead forming, SO tomorrow I will  take it off again and try one more time. It is coming from the left edge of the nut... Can't believe it's so hard to get that bead  to stop!  I did get the outside spigot to stop dripping so I think eventually I can stop this bead but it's been a real pain, 

Annie was not herself today she was limping a lot on her bad leg, she has an arthritic joint on the front.  Floss is doing a wee bit better since I put them on the Glucosamine and the she is getting prednisone 5 mg a day.  So I put Annie on it for a few days this cold air may be the cause and she may have over did it, they are 91 in human years so if the 7 yr ratio is correct...which I assume it is.  At 91 the body has all sorts of issues.

Both of these girls got off to a very poor start I found them along with 5 others starving trying to survive in the woods as pups...they were about 4 months old, Someone dumped them off in the woods near here...Mom and I found them and we found homes for the other 5,  they were all starving and wormy and they ended up with Parvo, an intestinal virus that can kill dogs if not properly treated.  In fact I still had their sister Daisy, and they all 3 had it at the same time.  So I took them to the vet, he diagnosed it and he said he doubted they would survive... I asked him to let me treat them at home. 

So he gave me 2 bags of Normal saline and some oral antibiotics He ran a dose of IV antibiotic into each one while they were in his office,  we crushed and put in an oral syringe and squirted that into their mouth...the prescribed ones,  We put each one on a heating pad in the kitchen...so  twice a day mom and I would give them each an under the skin infusion of the Saline, and I had a bag of Ringers Lactate still in my medical bag from my time as a medic it was still good so we gave them that too...And it took about 5 days for them to slowly come around to where they would lick a little liquid out of a saucer and eventually they all got well.

Not long after that we found a home for Daisy and then I told Mom I wanted us to keep the last 2 and that is how we got Annie and Flossie, 13 yrs ago.   That fall we found the 7 puppies Mom broke her hip and I had to call an ambulance to take her to the hospital and she  had hip surgery and a long rehab... that was a hell of a fall in 2008.

I found Casey on the side of the road in 2014..he was already up in age, so only got to share 6 of his years with him...but we guessed him to be about 15 or maybe a little more when he passed.  I've always had dogs, and I've said once these girls pass away if Im still alive, I want to be pet free for a while to be able to travel more if I can...it's hard for them now at their golden age to enjoy being in the van, they get stiff and they can't go on long walks on leash, they are used to being able to go in the yard here when they feel like it now they are having some issues dealing with the back steps.  Their last trip was in 2018 all 3 of them and went to CO with  us, and we took a long 21 days trip on the way over and on the way back so they spent Spring and Summer in CO and then we came home in the fall.  They have made 3 trips out west with me, and Casey went all over the place with me, and to Canada too. 

Getting old is no fun for woman or beast.

Know when to quit...

HEN ONE THINGS LEADS TO ANOTHER?

Not me apparently!  So it was that the small fountain I made in a pot long ago was only to bring the sound of water into the area...trickling water.  When I sit out back and relax and just be still and quiet...I can hear the trickle....ahhh bliss.

That never happens, okay!!  I am not the sit still type when it's nice enough to be outside Im in motion. I rarely sit down during the day unless I am heavily depressed, not feeling well or just plain unable to move for some reason. 

The fountain does make a nice little sound of moving water, works very well...the pot is large and filled with various rocks I've accumulated over the years...so I enjoy hearing it while I WORK in the back yard. 

There is one little problem...the dogs think it's an artesian well or something so they drink out of it.  And every day I have to add water to the fountain. 

Over winter it got yukky in summer I over fill a few times to wash out accumulated gunk...but in winter I don't...So it's warm enough to unroll the  hose turn it on and wash out the fountain...I took all the rocks out scrubbed the pot, cleaned up all the rocks and during this time using the hose I noticed it had a leak  up near where the brass thing attaches, great.  It made a fine spray and I was getting soaked...So I have another hose...

This one tho is a very heavy no kink hose, the other is a cheap pos....but now it sprays me so I decided to take it off and put the other hose on, Unfortunately i noticed squirrels have damaged the other hose, it has a leak now too but farther away from the area where you have to hold it...so I took the old hose off the faucet and that's when I remembered the faucet has a pretty good drip...it's more of a fine continuous stream now, and with the old hose attached and the Sprayer attached to that there is no water escaping but NOW there will be...a leak in both hoses.  

So Its a sunny day I have some time, I turned the main water off and took the faucet off after fumbling with the large pipe wrench, and after a couple times of trying with all my might it finally moved.  I inspected and its the washer...no good--- so I  tried to find a larger rubber washer.  Didn't have one, so I attempted to fashion one using an O ring on top of the old washer,,,,and put it back on Still it drips...so turned it off again tried again and this time it was a slower drip..............................drip.....................drip.......................

So I can live with that.  I  decided to find a new faucet on my next trip to Lowes. 

 Meanwhile the little voice, the evil one, reminded me I have another leak in my bathroom.  It's coming from the supply line connection behind the  toilet.  It's a slow little bead of water forms around the connection and then it drips over the edge, and it makes a tiny puddle.  This old pipe under the floor that comes UP thru the floor and the supply line screws onto is the problem...its old galvanized iron pipe..and it's original to this OLD HOUSE.  

My other voice is the voice of reason, she said..."you don't want to worry with that today just one thing at a time, it's not that bad." 

BUT I did not listen to her...the evil voice is a very blunt very judgemental person who will nag me till I get things done....so to stop that witch from hassling me, I go inside and take a look.  

The threads have worn down and even tho I used Teflon tape last time I tried to solve this, still it leaks...So I took it loose, on  hands n knees head behind the toilet, and put more Teflon tape on...reconnected it, turned the water back on to see it beading up still.......darn.   I took the wrench  to make a half turn tighter...should not have----- NOW it began to flow out pretty good...tried to back it off to no avail and a good look showed me it's coming from the top of the nut where it attaches to the supply line...NOT under the lip as before and it's making a big puddle!!!!!!!!!OH MY HEAVENS.  

Run out of the house, turned the main back off, back inside mopped up all the water, then took the supply hose off and noticed the rubber inside there was all denigrated and no good...SO I cleaned myself up a little, grabbed the old line, my keys  and to Lowes I went...

Got a new supply line, a guy helped me figure out the right one, and looked for a new outside faucet it has to be a 1 inch screw on type...But they don't have that...So anyways I will try Ace for that on Monday they are closed on Saturday.  I also got some thread sealer...but back at home in my haste when I put the supply line on I forgot to add the thread sealer...Darn...anyways I tighten it up and turned the water back on. 

I starred at it using a flashlight to see it as best I could, and it took about 40 seconds for a small bead to began to form in the same old spot.  I turned the nut with the wrench a wee bit, it slowed the bead but it's still coming every so slowly.  It's like a nagging little itch that you can't reach just irritating you and spoiling  your inner peace of mind...each little bead began to look like a penny then a dime, and as I starred at it I swear I could see a dollar bill floating thru the cracks of the floor....as the bead formed on the edge of the nut right before it ever so slowly trickled down.....
DAMMMIT!

I've had enough by now to call it quits, pack up all the tools, clean up all the mess I made...I put a washcloth around the bottom of the supply line to catch the water as it gently beads up and then drips onto the floor!! 

I guess tomorrow I will turn it off and try putting the thread sealer on.  And as I do that I have to wonder, what will THAT lead to??  Will I begin to rip up the floor to get at that pipe?  Will I decide having indoor plumbing is a luxury I can't afford? Will I sell this house and move into town like my X did?  All that remains to be seen, as one thing leads to another. 

So because the dogs drank the fountain dry I spent my whole day trouble shooting these damn plumbing issues!! I'm really almost too old now to do a lot of these DIY projects I used to tackle with no issue, just kneeling on my knees made them bruise and hurt, and my back was aching from trying to bend over the fountain to wash  the rocks, and I almost could not turn that wrench on the outdoor faucet to get it off.  

This is exactly why MY X decided in the end to sell out and move out of the house, he was much older than me...so I may have 5 more years where I can do these DIY projects or less.  WHAT needs to happen is when I had the floor open I should have had a plumber come and cut out the galvanized pipe and put in copper or Pex or whatever they call it, because that is the issue...all the joints are rusty and corroded.  

Anyways when one things leads to someplace you don't want to go, Turn Around.  Lately I've been ignoring my little voice, and I think she has a point...

"Now be a smart cookie, and just let it go." 

Friday 13th goblins!

e peel the onion...and shed our tears...
Today was Friday 13th! I think know I am superstitious more so than most. I knock on wood, it has to be good wood my favorite is Maple..and If a black cat crosses my path I will curse aloud and it leaves me visibly shaken! Bad things always come in 3's...and I watch for the evil goblins to make things go bad on Friday 13th, just to name a few of my weird and strange idiosyncrasies.. 
My mom is 91 and losing her memory, it has not been slowly coming on it came on like a freight train...very rapid! At first it did only affect parts of her memory like repeating things she had told me over to me again and then again...but now its affecting all her thoughts... she can't remember how to do simple things like the laundry...its as if her thoughts are incomplete...she will declare she understands and at that moment she does...then seconds later she will have no memory of what we just discussed.

The problem is I fall into the trap of taking for granted she is understanding...like today we had a shopping trip to do I really NO longer enjoy taking my mom on shopping trips and these days shopping for our household means groceries and basic necessaries.  We don't really bother with much else..

On the way she found a $100 dollar bill in her wallet she thought it was a $10. SO I told her she should have just left that at home...but she said that is her lucky $100 bill...okay I understand Lucky and Unlucky! :o) so she tucked it into a secret flap in her wallet. 

So Mom wanted to go into Roses its a small discount store right next door to the grocery store so I got her a cart, took her inside the store and she reassured me she was fine I should go on and do the grocery shopping while she browsed inside the discount store...I kept saying are you sure, "Yes Im fine, I will wait right here for you to come get me when you finish." 
So I shopped and put the groceries in the van, and headed to Roses...I went in and she was right by the door waiting..I could tell something was wrong instantly..

"I've lost my pocketbook"! I don't even know if I had it with me when I came in here." She did cause I made sure it was in her cart...
So I asked where she was when you realized she didn't have it?
She was at the check out and when she went to get her wallet her purse was gone.  So I said let me ask if a purse has been found, cashier said nope..so then I tried to help her retrace her path...she had gone to the bathroom.  That's the first place I checked no bag...then I went back to where she waited and one of the store employees asked if I had lost a bag since one was turned into the office...
It was found in the ladies room....

Every thing was inside, but poor mom was so shaken she could barely stand up all she could think of was her $100 dollar bill!!

So that was probably the last trip alone in a store for mom it makes me sad to see the layers of independence being ripped away one by one...

But we decided to blame the Friday 13th Goblins instead!!

Raising Mom

hy do we try to live so long?
My mom is almost 91 I'm almost 62. I've spent the past 8 years trying to help my mom grow old without killing herself. Since that time she has been hospitalized for pneumonia, with a long rehab of over 30 days, her right hip fractured and had to be replaced that was a 65 days ordeal, she has been to the ER on countless trips for breathing problems, heart problems, and then the left hip fractured and we went through yet another hip replacement with a long rehab time... its Dr's almost monthly and dealing with pain daily! She finally lost her ability to walk unaided 4 years ago....she is on oxygen and she takes a ton of medicine for different ailments.

Teaching her how to grow old is not an easy lesson to learn since now her mind is starting to let her down...the change has come suddenly or did we just deny the early signs? She started putting milk (almond milk) in her potato salad recipe...and she cooked the onions and green peppers.  That was a sign... as her recipe is  for non cooked veggies and certainly no milk. 

She insists on still writing 2 checks per month...I pay all the other bills online....and yesterday the electric company called to say she didn't sign the check...if I hadn't witnessed that call she probably would  have forgotten all about it....
I've been telling her to let me write the checks... her writing is so bad you can't read it and she normally rips up 3 or 4 checks to get one ready to be sent I did check that one, but before she signed it, I could read it;  I handed it back for the signature and I guess she didn't; I realize I really can't take anything for granted at this point. 

 I have made out a new one and its ready to mail this morning.
I constantly nag her about being safe..."always have a phone in your walker so you can call if you need help."  I have my cell phone number on a piece of paper in the walker she can't remember how to use the directory buttons on the phone... but she knows how to dial.  If I'm not home she is supposed to call 911...normally I'm within ear shot MOST of the time but not all the time, how can I be?
2 days ago she thought it would be a good idea if she took a walk into the old pasture; she has a sturdy gizmo called a YuGo for walking outside it has large wheels, brakes, 2 handlebars, and a seat for when you need to sit.  Even with this contraption she caught her toe on an exposed root and came down like a ton of brick face down on the dirt path.

I was in the front yard trying to clip the hedges that had overgrown the front steps and I heard her faint call...I thought she was in the house---so I said "what?" Then she basically screamed H E L P..I realized the sound was outside the house and looked to see her flat on the ground just at the gate area...

She is bruised all over has one large skin tear on the right arm I think she tried to catch the gate on the way down and it ripped a hole in  her skin about 2 inches by 2 inches.  Skin tears are almost a daily thing with her.  The hard part was getting her back up on her feet. Thank goodness I have EMS training and part of that training was moving and lifting people.

My back and my abs are so sore from my effort and with the help of unseen forces I lifted her 136 lbs off the ground with my 2 yr post fractured wrists and now they are aching with pain.  I rolled her over onto her back and then helped her get into a sitting position after we had checked and saw no obviously fracture or injury other than the skin tear...after I got her in sitting position I ran to the house for a bandage to put on the arm...I had her to try and calm down while sitting then I told her exactly what I needed her to do so she could get up....I had her spread her legs in hindsight I should have put one foot between her legs and on off to the side, but I had her spread her legs I stood in between them.  I had her lock her arms around my neck as I leaned down, I wrapped both my arms around her waist and I grasped the waist band of her pants in the back with my hands and lifted using my forearms under her arms and I yelled "STAND UP" to encourage her help in any way. The problem came when she clamped her knees to my legs and nearly caused me to fall on top  of her, I was not expecting that!! That's why I say next time one leg outside her legs. 

Hell I don't ever want a next time...This is the 4th time I've had to get my mom up...only once did I have help and that was when I had my right hand in a cast!

I have decided my job as the parent is MUCH harder than her job was as a parent, she raised a child I'm raising an adult..in 8 more yrs I will have given her the same amount of time as being a parent to her as she gave me...as I left home at 16, and honestly my older sister took care of me and I took care of my younger sister so Mom did very little child rearing. 

I have told my 2 sisters I need help so if they don't help me I have no idea whats going to happen, I can't go on not having a life of my own and trying to lift her when she falls or when she cant get up steps...etc.  I am also aging rapidly-her mind is no longer the sturdy trap it was she asks me if I fed the dogs over and over and she obsesses over the dogs in a strange way she has to know what every scratch is for she has to know what room they are in at all times, she has to  know they are fine. 

 I can NOT stop her from falling I can only be there to pick her up and dust her off and let her keep going. She DID NOT have a phone in her walker when she fell so If I had been away in town doing our shopping she would have had to lay on the ground till I returned!! (normally tho when I go out I say YOU are NOT to leave the house, but she has done that before!!) NO ONE else would or does come by we live in a very rural place and no family lives close my sister is over 2 hr drive away and the other is 2,000 miles away!  She was obscured by heavy woods from the sight of the road in front of the house...IF I had been gone on a half day excursion, as I sometimes do, what would have happened to my mom laying there in the dirt on the ground she couldn't even roll over onto her back without my help.  Ants, or no telling what could have gotten on her!

She is constantly "breaking the rules" I've laid out to try and keep her as safe as possible.. she has been up 2 hrs this morning she has yet to put the phone in her walker...IF I don't do it she never thinks of it, yet she says she can live here alone, I want to move back into my own house its 300 ft away from this one...I bought out my X in the divorce, have been working on it for those 3 yrs and now its almost ready to live in only the bathroom remains gutted.  My son was going to rent the house and move in next door I was thrilled cause it meant more hands to help deal with mom...but his job changed and now his workplace is even farther away so no good moving here.

*sigh*... the difference between raising a child and raising a parent is a child learns, the parent does not...I go over the "rules" all the time its like taking to a wall...I can ask her within 5 mins what did I say about her not using the walker, and she won't remember...the memory loss and the A.D.D. is getting worse by the minute.
She is supposed to go to my sisters house for a month leaving tomorrow...I can only hope she will be safe as they are not as aware that they have to remind her of everything over and over not just once and she gets it she never gets it...and they will take for granted that she has her facilities...when she does NOT she was there 2 weeks ago and fell in their office room due to her sitting in a chair that rolls!! SHE knows she can NOT sit in a chair that moves in any way...but she did--and when she tried to get up it rolled away and she fell Lucky my sister was home for lunch from work, as her husband had gone to run errands normally he is home he works from home...

I will of course remind my sister of this and hope she reminds the BIL and hopefully mom will be safe...I need the break and can't let it worry me as my anxiety is through the roof as it is.

This is not a rant or a bag of complaints its my way of debriefing the situation. 

Can Time Stand Still?

ELL...I keep turning time over in my mind, and here in the think tank blog is a good spot to put these thoughts out there...so I can remember I had them! My fascination with time-space- goes way back to Jr high school when I had a really fantastic science teacher who was always throwing interesting ideas out there for us to think about...he didnt throw time out but what he did do was remind all of us that we had a brain so we should use it, not just to go about our daily life but to explore the unknown, no matter how critical others may be of these ideas!

You know how Earthlings are always searching outer space for aliens....well guess what-- we live in outer space and we are aliens! LOL that always surprises me when I remind myself we are just as much a part of this Universe as our mighty Sun is!

Time=movement in space! That is a proven fact. NOW this is all just my thoughts and I have not googled up this whole idea and dont really plan to...I want to allow my mind to come up with ideas that are spawned purely of thoughts Ive had and assembled into theories of my very own. So this idea came to me...

My Mom is a bible scholar and I learn things by having discussions with her. She believes firmly in creation, and I still dont know what I believe! I am always evolving in my ideas about that...but here is what we discussed. Im certain the writers of the Bible were real, they wrote their ideas and experiences and passed them on. It is at the very least an Ancient writing we all have access to...just as the Koran, the Torah, etc.
Mom told me of the old ones in the Bible and how they lived for centuries some as much as 900 yrs. So I said "well I guess they were closer to the source therefore they were not diluted and had more of the good stuff running in their gene pool." Much like a river its the sweetest right where the first bubble comes from deep inside the Earth, it has not been poluted and it has not been diluted...its almost perfect!

She agreed with me. Then I said, "maybe back then the Earth revolved slower..therefore time passed slower, and people aged slower and lived longer!" We sort of looked at each other, then she reminded me that "in the Bible it states that it took God 7 days to create the heavens and the Earth. Yet to God a day is 1000 yrs." So I said "well maybe in the life of early man it took 1,000 yrs for the Earth to make one full turn, or a day to pass." Who knows this could be possible...we have no way of knowing just what speed the Earth moved at 2000 yrs ago.

The Sun does not move so to me that means it hangs in timeless space--space that is not moving---so time is not moving, so it is timeless! So-- if the Earth should stop revolving---and stop orbiting....there would be a dark side of the Earth...everyone would have to move to the sunny side of the Earth and we may actually stop aging...time would stand still.
Its just something to ponder!!