Plan B, C, And D...

HEN YOU MAKE A LONG TERM PLAN,,,

Have you ever had a goal that was not like you could just work on it a couple months and it's all done...but like a really long term goal?  I have a few times.  Those are the times that try your soul for sure and it shows what kind of stuff  you're made of.  

When I decided to close my business and move to NYC it took me 7 months to do it,,

But when I decided to quit my EMS Job in NYC and move back it took me 10  months to do it.  I was literally marking the days off the calendar.  Before I could start marking tho I had a plan and it took me a while to figure out that plan.   I had struggled the entire time I lived in NYC financially.  I did not get the job I wanted to get when I first moved up so I went through my savings pretty fast.  I was only able to liquidate some of my assets but some were jointly owned and I couldn't sell everything...and honestly I had not intended to do that.  

But I still had a large debt to pay off and I worked very hard to do that...I took extra shifts, I worked every single holiday, I cut my budget to the bone, no eating out, no movies, no buying ANYHING.  I did without and saved every penny and put what I didnt need for food and rent to paying off that debt and saving money so I would not have to immediately go to work when the move was made.   See my mom was counting on me to help her make her dream come true also...

She had been battling an illness and had to move up to where my sister was living.  Unfortunately she was very unhappy with that situation, and she ended up getting sicker and she ended up in the hospital with pneumonia, and other problems.  So when she was released from the hospital in the end of 2005, I took some vacation days off and rode the bus down to SC to stay with her otherwise she was gonna have to go into a nursing rehab.  With my regular 4 days off per week I inserted 3 vacation days in between and  I had 11 days off...during that time she and I planned that I would quit my job there and move back to live with her so she could move back into her home...but I could not do it over night because I had 2 things I had to do first.  I had a debt to pay off, and I wanted to save enough money to buy out  my husbands share of our home, get my house back.  He was semi retired by then. 

I had heard he wanted to move into an apartment in town because he was not able to keep our house up...so the plan would take one yr to make it happen...So all of 2006 I worked my ass off, and I marked those days off the calendar.  I wrote to my X and he never answered but he called me and said he was open to me buying him out.  So meanwhile, I was trying to put away 2/3 of my income.  I was paying down the debt, and putting money in savings.   I had several credit cards to pay off and there was a lot of those 0% offers out there so I took out as many as I could and I kept strict records of when those special deals would expire so I would pay one off, and add that amount to the next one in line, and before you know it the debt was paid and then I could concentrate on the savings...

My mom was so excited and finally I gave my 2 weeks notice in mid September of 2006.  As it worked out my last work day was on my birthday...what a great gift.  So I had already given my 30 days notice on my apartment Lease, and I began to give away my furniture and things I would not be taking.  I had a small car so my sister had offered me to use her larger SUV to move my belongings down to SC..I would be moving into Mom's house with her until I was able to buy my house back and move into it, our homes are located next to each other....and she had only one bedroom...so I had to get rid of most everything, except my clothes and a few other items.   

On the big day I drove my little car down with half my things to my sisters house...and left it parked there....and Mom came with me to help me pack up and move but first we went on a New England road trip.   We did Niagara Falls, Vermont, MA, Maine, and New Hampshire, fall trip.  It was fabulous!!

Then we got back to my apartment, began the packing and on Oct 6th we drove out of NY for the last time.  I was so happy to be done with that phase of my life...and Mom was happy to be moving back home.  She could still do some driving so we stopped at my sisters house for a few days packed up Mom's things and we both moved back home.  What a home coming it was.   It took days to get everything unpacked and then my sis and her husband drove down the next weekend and picked up her car. 

In the end my husband backed out of the deal we made....I was very upset, because my plan had been to stay with mom till she was settled and then move into my house Right next door! So I could help her and also get my home back...if you recall Mom had only one bedroom....So In the end I had to add a bedroom for myself...and I spent $15,000 in cash to pay for it...

Seven years later.....

My husband demanded I buy him out and he filed for divorce...OUCH...I had spent most all the money I had saved to buy him out back in 2006.  So by this time Mom was not doing all too good and I really couldnt leave her completely alone, but I did finally get the funds to buy him out and it took me another 3 yrs to get my house in condition to move into...and 2 yrs later he passed away....And by then my sister had retired from her job and was able to come help with mom....

It took many years to get myself into the life I have now...I no longer have my husband, my mom, my sisters moved away and all that planning to be here close to my family ended up being a plan to be alone.  

Things don't always go as  you had hoped....but don't give up as my sister once told me, "it may not be clear right now why you are doing this but one day it will be."