Years they pass so quickly...

HERE DID IT GO?

Im referring to time... 

Sometimes I feel as if Im a lone survivor of  a terrible disaster that was my family life.  I know I  ran away from family responsibilities at one time, and I needed that I may not even be the lone survivor otherwise.  I felt the door opened and I ran out of it...my son was going into this 3rd year o f college, my mom was retired in fairly good health and content, my sisters were doing okay my husband so wrapped up in his own world of working part time at his business and then golfing every afternoon...so I felt they didn't need me at that point in life.  

I just redid the post on my other blog of when we moved this old house I live in way back in 1977 from town where it was built in the '50's to this land.  All the photos were missing from the post, so I dug them out scanned them in and made it whole again.  IF only we could do that with our past with the lives of people, rescan them and make it alright again. 

While I went thru those photos I relived the memories...and then the 44 years of life and death and loss that followed that move. When I die those memories will no longer exist, they will become ash blown off in a hard wind....and the life those memories represent will be lost forever. 

To say it left me hurting is like saying the sun is bright...damn it hurt to recall all the life we all had here; the happiness, the hard times, the good times, the bad, the hanging on, the trying  again.  The past and the lives in it flashed before me, and before you know it my own will do the same.  LIFE is so damn SHORT...Maybe I have survivors guilt...add that to long list of malady I am currently experiencing.   I think of bones, walls, and distance and suddenly my world is a small island one in danger of sinking and being washed away by the next storm.

Here I am again will you take me as I am?