Tight Spaces

HAT IS THIS THING?

 This is the HELMET I had to wear when I took Brain Laser Radiation...They Clamp your head down to the table using this Mask Made especially for you...YOU can not move your head at all and in Fact you can Barely close your eyes it fits that tight...Very confining.

The Van

HAT?  $1289.00

Just when my van needed me most I was MIA!

I could have easily purchased a BUS computer from an ebay seller for like $250..Now I don't know if it would have been "programmed" or not BUT Some of those guys are repair guys And the Dodge delearship could do it BUT the  mechanic I used bought an original Mopar part and had it programmed there $700 total...He also installed the O2 sensors I've been driving around in my glove box cause I did not have the upper body Strength  to get those dang things out laying on my back on the ground so he did that...I did not ask about the condition of wiring harness that connects to the BUS...3 big pigtails... that but I did purchase an "ignition" wiring harness from ebay $40....As I suspect there is a short in it due to when I hit a bump the radio light goes off and my turn signals, wiggling the key makes it come back on. IF I recover enough to at some point to install that I will. Its not under the hood it can be done sitting in the van seat...so I'm hopeful.

My sister is getting a transport service to drive her to pick up the van...at 9 am...soooo this whole thing cost $$$$, $160 towing then the rental car we had for a week $400,,,and paying for rides to return the rental and another ride today may be $20...Lordy...AND I will probably be trading or selling the van for a smaller easier to manage vehicle due to my leg which will always have a 3 foot rod in it and probably will never function as before, I don't know... 

Today I am tired I barely slept I cant wait till the Steroids can be stopped I think they cause insomnia...

Annie is doing well she does seem a little depressed so I hope later today after sis returns we are planning to go outside so I can fill bird feeders and enjoy some out time so Annie will take a stroll with me.

So a day in the life of me.

Executive Decision

E MUST BE IN CONTROL...

I know my sis is gonna go Ballistic when I tell her I am not going to have that PET Scan the SC Oncology Acc. has me scheduled for...
I did my research and its a diagnostic tool, it has no bearing on my treatment...and its freaking dangerous in my book.  IT makes the tumors GLOW!! The tumors have been  MRI'd they have been Sized...and located, 

It is suggested to have 8-12 weeks after radiation has been done  IM only 4 weeks Status Post the radiation...

That test fills your body with Nuclear Radiation!! I already have radiation burns in  my mouth throat and the lower right side of jaw...VERY raw and extremely painful..

AND The determination of what drugs to give me in Chemo is made by my Biopsy  and Blood work, not this test SO why subject myself to more injury? I have Non Small Cell Squamish Carcinoma metastatic stage 4 that has already been determined the best treatment is immunotherapy...and it is not exactly curable as the DR told me it would be a life long treatment...But I plan to call it in Dec when I go for my MRI recheck to see if anything shrunk!!

I would  be radioactive for 18 hrs after that scan....SO IM not gonna do it period not at this time!! It is my life and I need no permissions..

Hmmm?

ILL I BE ABLE TO DIY?

My You tube is mostly about my DIY projects  and most are either Homestead chores or Van repairs...I can not currently do the van repair which totally sucks because its a simple fix switch out the BUS or Computer 3 screws!! BUT it was dead in the intersection so we got a tow etc..My tag line on my channel is Another $80 Saved!

But Annie was in desperate need of grooming...so I called Pet Sense

and to shed comb her bath her and do nails $75!!

So today I had my sis set up a table in front of the wicker chair on the screen porch and put Annie up there for me...I got an early start before my leg swells up and I have to Elevate it for hours which means I can do nothing, So I did the shed combing, trimmed her nails and trimmed the long hair on her belly and used a rinse less shampoo to rub thru her coat good as any bath...well pretty much..

So with tax Im Sure its $80 saved...Ka-ching!!

Flossie July 4, 2009 - Sept 6, 2022

ITH A SAD HEART...

Flossie was laid to rest yesterday right by Casey in my Pet Cemetery....She is now at Peace..My lovely companion

Floss

HY NOW?

Well its not enough that I have Stage 4 Cancer my hair fell out after 20 radiation treatments and it has caused other health issues,, that I have a huge hole in my leg and now a 3 ft rod with 3 screws in it...and if I try too stay up doing things...which I can do I can prepare most of my meals but we are taking turns doing meals my sis and I and trying to navigate the medical system,,,Home Nurses calling all odd hours...Physical therapists who don't show up etc...MY poor Floss seems to be on her last leg. Literally she cant walk and even with help she is unable to stand...

We got her in that little compact car Somehow my sis managed and we did a walk in visit to the Vet...IT took 3 hrs total to get her in and out...He x-rayed the hips he said its more arthritis than ACL..

He gave her a steroid injection  and she starts Prednisone tomorrow...But she has not offered to try to stand...or walk...she is incontinent

we have a diaper on her but I don't want her living that way so In the next couple of Days I have a very tough decision...to make...

How can someone's life completely implode in just a few weeks??

I just want a change for the better in some small way!!

AND Annie is showing signs of diabetes, I think my sis is over feeding She had none of these symptoms prior to now...

Why me why now? There is a limit to what one woman can bear.

She was 14 On July 4th...

 

Sept

HEN TO GET BUSY

Well the van got towed it is a holiday weekend so I don't expect anything this week but just getting it to the garage is a big deal...Ive been trying to do more of my own food prep and I made dinner for us both Peppers n Rice.. I need to relearn new ways of moving around in my home so if I do beat this I can resume some normal...I wish be to be able to do that..
I have my MRI recheck Dec 3 So that should tell me if Its growing or retreating!! If its growing I may move to CO so I can do Hospice or they have assisted end of life there...It just depends

Right now I feel pretty good Im able to walk much better using a walker of course and I hope in time to graduate to a rolliator which is more sporty and has a storage pouch for carrying things I had ordered it before I found out about the cancer.

I spent some time on my screen porch yesterday watching birds on the feeders That was nice and I could see most of my flowers Zinnia, Lantana, and Phlox and some peppers are coming on the Red Bell that was attacked by deer in the spring...So maybe I will get one in the end.

Sept I will be 69 in 27 days.

UGHHH

HEN IT RAINS IT POURS..

So on the way home at my last radiation treatment we were 10 away and my van stalled at a light and would not restart..so we had to get a tow home we had done curbside pickup at Walmart Had our groceries in there and my walker so thank goodness a nice tow driver pushed us off the raod then towed us home...so now im dealing with getting it towed to a garage that I trust...and it was supposed to get towed yesterday...BUT that tow guy didnt show up I barely slept last night,

So I called this mornimg and he has shown up I had to put the van in My sons driveway next door my drive way was too narrow for the other truck to make it I saw the red truck arrive so HOPE fully

BUT its  a Holiday weekend so NO clue when it will be done...meanwhile we have a rental which is expensive..

Life continues to HACK me!

Karma seems hell bent.

Ongoing Thoughts

ELL...

Ive Had 2 days off at home after completing my brain Radiation and have 2 more hip radiation treatments left so 2 more 3 hr commutes over round trip and I will be glad that Part is over first recheck in Oct of the leg and 3 months for MRI.

My Sister was able to beef up the dog ramp so its now strong enough for me to use...so getting in and out if I recover can happen..

Im not sure how the chemo will affect me that starts after Labor day.

This whole thing has been a shock to me its kind of Im having an out of body experience to be honest...but I will chronicle as best i can JIC I do survive,

week 3 Post release

EDNESDAY

Today is my first Oncology consult I will be doing Chemo in my own town no 3 hr daily ride to Lexington Life will be better I can have more down time    the Team in Lex is coordinating the treatment based on lab reports of bio markers so it could be IV, Pill and/or Immunotherapy. I have to make 5 more trips there this week and 2 days next week   then begin chemo Sept 6,

My sis is taking amazing care of me I would probably have passed if not for her help,

I did have a nightmare of my X last night I plan to smudge my house of any bad omens,

At this point this is just documenting my journey into the unknown.

Life will be better or not but trying this one shot is the only choice I have..I dont know beyond.

On Going

ELL...

Yesterday was long day radiation at 4 and they took me back late,,,We finally got home @ 6 pm we got Chinese take out and I was asleep before 8 pm exhausted...I have my first surgical post opt today and then followed by another radiation txt which is 40 mins on the table..

I will begin Chemo in my own town Sept 6..my life is all about this disease now which is what I had never wanted but am left no choice..

Simple things bring me hope..

Walking Dead?

HAT HAPPENS NOW?

So guess who has stage 4 Metz non small cell Squamish carcinoma cancer?

I do!  found out 12 days ago after i had a seizure in my home on was Saturday the 8th and called 911 when I finally came around and  transported to my local hospital they did a cat scan and told me I had brain cancer and swelling.  They  transferred me to Lexington Med Center in Columbia. SC and I was admitted to  neurology surgical floor....and an MRI slowed I have Lung CA that has metz to Brain. Lymph. and my right femur...so all along my leg has a tumor that ate the bone away and this is why I cant walk...

So they put in a 24" long rod with 3 big screws so I can now walk a little.  I began Radiation  to my brain and hip 10 treatments did 5 already after 9 days I asked to be released my sis is here helping me and driving me to the remaining appts.  Then the plan is chemo in my town a...No idea how I will progress as its a crap shoot..

Totally did not see this coming...

This week...

HAT THE HELL?

Metaverse...is creating a schizophrenics' reality and doing it to kids and anyone who is stupid enough to play those games...IT is def a hazard to mental health.  Its LSD. Ever wake up from a really bad dream that has lasting effects...I can see many lawsuits on the way...and many more unstable individuals being preyed upon by a huge untethered corporation.  It should never have been created. 

People are subjected to sexual advances, violent behavior and anti social behavior...ANY Parent who buys this one better watch out. 

Im having such a hard time walking. My shoulders, arms, and hands are sore and achy from using them to take the weight off my hip which hurts with each step I take. I have been using a sort of homemade walker...the walking cane was not working for me, and I nearly fell a couple of times... I ordered one of those rolling things like my mom had, I will be able to roll myself some of the time and save wear and tear on my upper body.  Its still 2 weeks till my appointment with the orthro. I was happy it was shipped with UPS...not Fed Ex...its supposed to be here in 8 days I hope it arrives sooner..

Alex Jones guilty of lying and saying Sandy Hook was a prank and not real...he was ordered to pay $4.1 million, and there will be more punitive damages. Kansas said NO to outlawing abortion, and the DOJ is pushing forward with investigations about Jan 6.  I think we may start to see some justice for some of this nutty crap we have had to endure.  

My son hit a deer...his car is messed up! 

Educators

AY BACK IN MIDDLE SCHOOL 

Or Jr High as we called it...I had a science teacher named Mr Melton.  He was an older man with snow white hair and his hands shook and he seemed to always be anxious.  He missed a lot of classes and so we had a lot of subs.  This only added to the problem of him not getting the respect he needed.   I had very little interaction in school with students or teachers.  I was a quiet student who rarely asked questions.  I was a good enough student until I got to high school. 

Mr Melton's classroom was on the 3rd floor or the top floor of the building...and it had big huge windows that we kept open as I think I have mentioned we did not have air conditioning...

One day when he could not get control of the class he walked to the  window and sat on the ledge with the legs dangling outside and threatened to jump... One of the older boys ran and got a teacher in
the next room, he went to Mr Melton and was holding his hand while talking to him and another teacher told us to exit the room.  

Poor Mr. Melton he had  a mental breakdown right there in class...we never saw  him again...and Ted Cruz would have teachers toting guns and facing down domestic terrorists.... can you imagine Mr Melton being that man?  He probably would have opened fire on  us all...

Teachers have a hard job!

Crusty old Bread....

HEN YOU'RE RIGHT,,,

The young man Im supporting for SC Governor in Nov has a refreshing nature about him....he is liberal and most likely progressive...Joe Cunningham he is from Charleston but was born in KY.  In his latest ad he said "We are being ruled by "geriatric oligarchs".  He wants term limits and age limits also.  I totally agree.   He said he is not supporting Biden for President because he is too old...and he is right.  He mentioned more of the flaky old men in Washington also...Jim Clyburn is a good man but he is OLD he is 80. As I stated I will vote for a younger Democrat in the primary.  Hope it's going to be Gavin Newsome... he is 57..already in his prime. 

He has not given an age in his proposal, but to me 50 is a good round number.  I would say I was my sharpest at 50 but since the President has to be 35 to run, that leaves a slim window.   He said he is saying what we all are thinking but no one has the courage to say, the Truth.
And he is kinda cute too!

Healthcare in America

HAT THE HECK?

I have an appt for the 24th of Aug to see an ortho on my hip/leg issue I told the girl I may be dead by then,,,She said I could go to the ER if its gets really bad,,,trust me it's really bad.   There is ONE Ortho in my town...with 4 doctors...

IM taking the max on the otc meds...just to be able to drag my leg aound and walk and it's not really walking--its fake walking.  Im using my folding step stool as a walker, it works quite nicely...but its heavy.  My leg folds up and wont support the weight so I had to move away from using the cane it was too dangerous...

I am not able to use that outside so Im not going outside for now.  It would sink in the sand we have here...

I have come to the conclusion its a muscle tear and possible ligament too..This has been a horrible exerience,,,I dont know how my mom ever did it she had 2 hip replaces...and was on a walker for about 8 yrs She was SOOOO strong...

I running out of everything my son picked up a few items for me I need to learn how to use the Order online pick up on store but his schedule is so all over the place I  dont  know when to schedule a pickup...and I cant drive in my current situation...I cant make my leg lift so going back n forth gas to break not happening!

Sucks to be me right now.

Hooked a Big Fishy Thing...

HAT IS THE CATCH?

So before anyone goes slapping the atta' boy back of Joe Manchin lets explore what made  him change his mind on the Climate bill.  After some talks with Chuck Shumer he suddenly had a change of heart....and he even goes as far as to call the bill the "Inflation Reduction Bill" Like we really care about that...

See Manchin takes more money from the fossil fuel industry than any other Senator, he is bought and paid for by big Pollution.  So the catch 20 was that Manchin demanded more public lands be opened up to oil and gas explorations which Biden promised a NO on but did its in this bill...Also it opens up exploration for precious metals used in the manufacture of batteries, and even some yet to be discovered minerals...IF that sounds like a dig till die plan it sort of is..

SO THANKS to the JOE'S we get the wool pulled over over our eyes...and to them its business as usual.  Some parts of the bill may help some areas like Healthcare costs drug costs and such and yet the loss to the fossil Fuel is a biggie to me. 

And the GOP is too busy attacking the "Tax Hike" they dont bother to point out its Capital Gains Taxes, certainly wont affect the 99% of the Americans...who probably have NO capital Gains to report..its for the wealthier people who invest...in real estate stocks and such..

yet Mitch McConnell acted as if it was gonna cause the trailer park Trumpsters to go broke..

Speaking of which now Fox is cutting ties with Trump and they are throwing their weight behind DeSantis, FL Governor so we know by the company he keeps he can't be trusted...

And the GOP threw the Veterans under the bus on Health Care for vets affected by burn pits??? Holy Hell.

I hear the Gov of CA may oppose Biden in the 2024...Id go for him in the Primary for sure!

Be There Jan 6....it's gonna be wild

HEN YOU NAME the time and place for something to happen, it's part of the conspiracy...
They have shown that Trump intended to go to the Capitol with his lynch mob in tow...So what speech did he intend to give at the  steps of the Capitol?  More angry rhetoric.  HE is guilty, it is rubbing the ass of the GOP that got us where we are, so I say it's time to bite that ASS...no more appeasing the Right, if they riot when charges are filed etc, that's why we have the National. Guard.  He showed intent, "I'm going with you,,," he said that.  HE also said, "Lets go take back our Country," that to me is a battle cry...pure n simple...That shows intention.  The man is a NUT pure n simple.  

They prosecute people who says such things on the internet let alone in front of an angry mob...now he is threatening all of US, he is basically saying "they" that means you and me...stole the election...no we didn't but he wants his followers to to something about it, that is what terrorism is.   Our leaders have to work within the system we have set up.  We have already ironed out the type nation we want we had a War of Independence, and a Civil War this is the type Nation we want...if  he wants an Authoritarian Society he should move to another country...like Russia!!

Liz summed up...

HAT WE ALL ARE THINKING...

And that is Never Again with DT in Office, I don't think he should be a free man, he is Benedict Arnold reborn...and he should be behind bars, not just for a couple years but for Life! And Anyone caught flying his flag should be arrested for supporting a coup.  The Nazi flag was out lawed in Germany it stands for hate and violence, so does Trump's flag and the Confederate Flag. Freedom does not come with a hate your neighbor to death card...it's ok to dislike each other but to the point of forcing your will on everyone?? ONE MAN...Heck no. 

Im still waiting for that list of  accomplishments mentioned by the Republican witnesses, one mentioned China, in the end that HURT us, and may possibly be the cause of this inflation and lets just go ahead and call it a recession.  We are feeling the results of DT's economy where only the WEALTHY are $$$soaring and the rest of us bottom feeders are flopping around like fish out of water.

I read that the the main Trump supporter is middle class white American's....well in that case soon enough they won't exist.

Housing costs affect soooo many of the components that make up the economy, such as Banking, and mortgaging lending, Lawyers who do sales contracts, closings, and deeds.  Real Estate brokers, developers, constructions contractors, landscapers, and then on up the chain to the building suppliers, hardware manufactures, and right back to logging in the woods!  Housing costs have risen 17.5% since 2020....THIS IS not surprising, the Tariffs went into effect in Oct 19, 2019...A direct connection is found.  

Canadian Lumber prices were to go up by 18% it was Joe Biden's Administration that did that in a effort to put US Lumber mills back to work...and that is helping that industry...but now with costs being passed UP the chain it hardly matters, they are relooking at the Canadian tax now...it was 8.99%. 

With this one sector of the economy being hit so heavily people are going to loose homes as interest rates rise, new home construction will slow considerably which will affect infrastructure and utilities expansion.  

Biden has covid and this is not good news for him or his ratings, if he can't govern due to health concerns more people jump ship.  I was never a Biden fan BUT I voted for him in the election of course...I don't know who could walk out of the Ashes and take the reins. I have not been very impressed with Harris, she brings up all sorts of what we need to change but i don't see her offering solutions.  She was supposed to be heading the troubles at our borders and that has not happened...meaning NO good Immigration reform has been put out there.

OAC has solutions but can she carry the party??? And she shows no signs of wanting to run...

Too bad Liz Cheney is a Republican  I think I would vote for her!

I despised her Father, and maybe she is cut from the same cloth...but I do think with someone like her we could find common ground to stand on, maybe?

..PS...

ALGREENS 

Drug store employee has refused to sell condoms to a married couple,  citing their religious belief system as a reason for this refusal...so we've been thru this before, when the bakery refused to bake a cake for a gay couple...

Now Justice Thomas has opened the door for privacy issues and Im pretty sure a suit will happen and it will come before the supreme court...and the Neo-Cons who currently sit on the Black Robed Throne, will rule in favor the religious zealots who wish to control everyone's sexuality. 

See the thing is I have no religious belief system...SO I guess that means I can refuse to sell a Cross, a Rosary, or Candle with Jesus on it, or  A BIBLE, so there is that...

I can refuse to sell Yamaka's  or Christmas Trees, or Baby Jesus, or a Menorah, or ANY other religious or anti religious artifact that is not in alignment with my belief!

SC HOUSE has already passed a bill stating that a Person can not be sued for refusing service if its against their religious belief...that includes doctors, nurses, and the whole nine...

Another Freedom could fall to the GOP, the party that is taking away your personal rights!