Day 29

ILLING BUT NOT ABLE...
The cardiac issue Im having has been keeping me pretty much from doing what I want to do.  I tried to cut some wood, my heart was skipping beats every other one, and I got exhausted...the cold air was making me couch till I choked, and finally I gave up.  

I tried to pick up some of the many limbs that feel in the ice strom 2 weeks ago, it took me an hour just to get one pile moved and it was most all small stuff...again with the A-fib, flutter...OK I know what you're thinking--- go to the Doctor...well I may have to.  My x husband had a fib,  many years.,.but I believe mine is related to a faulty valve.  

I really don't know I just don't want to get on the medical revolving door...but I think if it continues I will ask for a beta blocker, metoprolol to help with BP.  

Im trying to avoid processed foods,  sugars, and salt, no chips or other snacks and got lots of fruit and cashews unsalted for snacking this week.  Im still only using a bit of bread compared to what I was doing.  As soon as the cold air moves on which is gonna be this week I will start doing block walks again...and just keep trying.  Sometimes Afib can not be controlled but yesterday it got so bad I took a Nitro tab and then basically lay down the rest of the afternoon, on the couch watching some tv and youtube.  I was an hr outside moving the limbs so getting exercise but it made it worse.   I was tachycardic and flushed...and my heart didn't really relax till I fell asleep.  Today just holding my arms up exhausted me, I was trying to wash the window. 

Damn! It's always something. 
Sis is picking up Jim's cremains today as far as I know she said she thought she might go they called and said it's ready... it sure gives me comfort going to Casey's graveside and talking to him I buried him and I know he is there so having that little bit of a connection helped me a lot with the loss of his daily presence, At first I went out and stood by his grave a couple times a day then it got to once a day and now I just go and stand over his grave maybe once a week...I will holler across the yard at him tho and SAY HI Little Buddy.   He is buried next to Grizz and Breezy.  Grizz was my son's childhood dog he passed in 1996 and Breezy was my Moms last dog she passed in 2003. 

Today I worked on my Son's birthday card his bday is in about 2 weeks,,,he will be 41...yes I know he is middle aged already...I decided I would make all the cards for my immediate family so last Oct made my younger sisters, then my brother in law,  made my older sis's in January and now my Son's, it's been a challenge for sure. But Im glad I did and Im glad it's over now too...

And the one Im making for my son also has an Owl, it's kinda bringing to mind the evening not long ago when we had gone somewhere together and on the way back we saw a Great Horned Owl sitting in a tree it was just about dusk...
Im not finished with it yet so I will take a photo when it's done. 

Day 26

ELL I FINALLY FOUND A REDNECK I LIKE...
Although his language is a little foul, but its nothing I havent heard or possibly even said myself at some point in time and some quite possibly on the regular!  It's a political Youtube channel called the Liberal Red Neck...if you're into liberal politics take a listen...just be warned he is for an adult audience. I think his background is stand up comedy...soooo
His talking points are spot on and he has a very good grasp of where the weakness of the democratic party is, and very good suggestions of how to make it better, stronger, etc.  His main complaint, 

Old crusty white bread....this is how he  compares the membership of our elected officials on the dems side...and sinister, rotten to core homophobic, lying, hypocritical bible thumpers is how he describes  the other side of the aisle. I totally agree we need progressive people who have a brain, we dont need people who go in pretending to be liberal then their vote doesn't back that up.  

In the news Im glad the DOJ is finally investigating the fake electors that were sent up to Washington with fake results to try and steer the election off course, Pence was to accept those as the "official electoral results," but he didn't thank goodness for that at the very least...THIS is how dangerous the electoral college is!! ITS a completely flawed system.  OH sure when everyone plays by the rules, but wtf, how was the Republican party creating their own "electoral replacements...and changing the result" playing by the rules?...not  only it is NOT but it's a freaking crime!!  There is video evidence of the entire fraud starting with what Pence said just before he officially called the electoral votes...Go to Rachel Maddow and listen to her video on this...they found video going back like for years on the Little Speech that is read before Congress when the VP officiates over the declaring the results of the electoral college....it was exact every single time for eons of time back, except the PENCE reading, you gotta hear it...he is basically saying I have 2 copies of the results from some states and one is real and one is a fake!!! BUT he said like an entirely weird thing about "After ascertaining that the certificates are regular in form, and authentic, the tellers will announce the votes cast by the electors for each State beginning with Alabama, "which the parliamentarians   advice me is the only certificate of vote from that State and purports to be a return from the State and annexed to it is a certificate from an authority from that State purporting to appoint or ascertain electors."  This statement in italics has NEVER been part of the official process before!! 

This is what the DOJ is finally looking into there was 5 states that sent in FAKED electoral results...

Now at least we get a shot  of appointing a Supreme Court Justice since Breyer is retiring! Soooo good.  I hope he can get one in McConnell has said of course he will do all he can to stop that same as he did to Obama...I felt Obama didn't fight hard enough for that. 

They don't get it....

HILE PONDERING 
The state of our planet, it occurred to me only the wealthy can be passive when it comes to making a difference.  They can afford electric cars, wind and solar energy to be installed on their homes, and can pay the prices of the "better choice" such as Organic, whole foods etc.  Then they jet off and spew millions of gallons of jet fuel carbons into the atmosphere and we pick up the tab on that.

The rest of us have to make it happen one little bitty bit at a time.  We must be the ONE who saves the planet and hope that others are doing the same thing...we can't be passive.  We don't drive an electric car so we cut our travel back, the wealthier ones just keep moving around.  When was the last time you saw a guy in a suit out picking up cans on the roadside? Or Trash either for that matter?  Id like to see Mitch McConnell and Joe Manchin out picking up can's and taking them in to be recycled and see them picking up litter alongside the highway, see them cleaning up an oil spill, see them with soot on their faces as they work in an unhealthy environment just to make a living. 

Our state budget has this huge surplus at the moment and in the speech given by the governor on how HE wants to spend it NOT one word or dollar was to go toward any green deals....we don't even recycle most of the plastics collected due to contamination by the wrong type plastics.  So why didn't he say we're going to create a plastics sorting and recycling plant right here in our own state and sell that raw product back to the manufactures who made it in the first place...and we wont allow any unrecyclable plastic to sold in this state period....and what about glass....they don't even do that anymore....these states are waiting on some capitalist to come along and do it...why? Unless you're young and can buy one panel of solar a month and install it yourself, you are not gonna get solar energy on your roof...most of the time its paid for  in the form of a tax break...what if you're so poor you don't even pay taxes? 

The majority of the people on this planet live in poverty. and the rest live like Kings?

Clueless in DC,

E SURVIVED...

I cleaned my van off today and went out for birdseed...so Im all set with that now.  The price of seed is soooo high...I keep wondering are any of these prices going to go down when normal returns...or is normal ever returning?  I have never known the price of goods to go down.  An apartment fridge that used to cost $89 at  Walmart I saw one today for $259 that is what we used to get a small full sized fridge for.  How will people like me make ends meet?  So recall how last year I mentioned I need a new fridge? Should have bought it last year!! The same fridge I was gonna purchase for $530 is probably twice that now...So I will probably have to buy used when I buy....

Things need to change NOW because the prices are still rising...a bag of birdseed that last yr I paid $12 for today was $22.  

A smart leader would put a Price Freeze on Food, and durable goods.  I certainly would.  Is Joe Biden out of touch with reality.  Yes, all of the politicians are out of touch.  

I've said this so many times before....but Joe Biden will pay the same price for that fridge that I will....and yet he makes in one week what I make in one YEAR.  He said he is not a socialists maybe he should become one then...cause he doesn't get it anymore than the next rich guy does.   How can these people know what we need in the way of basic needs when they are so far beyond basic needs.  I wonder if Joe Biden even owns a car?  He gets driven everywhere he goes, we pay his insurance, his fuel, his car repairs, he is wealthy yet he gets for free what a 1/3 of my income has to pay for before I ever buy one piece of food.   He pays no electric bill, no water bill, no food bill...all provided for him with my tax money...

A king can't even begin to know what real life is...

Day 21

AITING ON THE SNOW...

Freezing cold right now...and a light sleet is falling.  So now they say we may get 2 inches of snow...I hope not but I'd rather have that than ice...we had ice last week.  I am as prepared as I can be...there is only so much you can do about it.  

I have a fire burning to help keep me warm it's really uncomfortable in here...Unfortunately I did not get bird seed, it slipped my mind so I put out what I had it won't be enough...I thought I had more in the bins than what I had....hopefully it won't snow and I can go for some tomorrow.   They have enough to get them through the rest of this day and probably thru the morning, but then it's not gonna last all day.  I have some suet I can put out...and I will. 

Friday again...it seems like Monday, then Friday is like an event horizon and the rest of the week is a Black Hole...that swallows up time. 

On a completely different note...I just listened to a vlog and this lady said she was bullied when she was a child in school, and she felt she had been bullied in relationships.  
The way I was raised I had no choice but to take up for myself.  We had parents who not involved in our lives at all beyond providing survival items of a roof, some food, some clothing...and took care of us when we were sick to the best of their ability! They were poor...we were poor...my mom pulled us out of poverty by the time I had already left home.  But to be honest if anyone attempted to bully me, I just saw it as a threat I had handle...so I did.  I know bullying is real and it changes how people live. 

If anyone tried to take something from me, tired to physically do something to me, or take huge advantage of me, I just derailed it right from the beginning.  Push me in the ice cream line, you got your face slapped, pull my hair I'd turn around punch you in the nose, take something from me, you would end up with your fingers in a twist hold.  I was not violent, but I reacted in my own defense. 

The only time my parents intervened was this...

I began walking at 8 months old! So I played with bigger kids, this one little girl I played with would run in circles and I think it made me dizzy so I bit her on the arm one day...she ran crying and my dad told her this..."the next time she bites you, you bite her back if you don't I will spank you." So I think he put the fear of Jesus in that kid....and sure enough the next time I bit her I was 2 yrs old, she was 4, she had way more teeth, she BIT me hard!! I ran home crying and that was that!!

So I think that was what I needed to know...if you want someone to leave you alone, dish our more than they are willing to take.   Lesson Learned.

Day 20

ANT WINTER GONE..

Yes I am ready for spring, too many days of grey clouds are making me feel like Im in a bubble that I can't see out of...we have more ice/snow forecast for this weekend...I used to ski.  Skiing is about the only reason I would want snow but since I no longer ski...it's hardly on my wish list.  
I recall when I finally got how balance and weight distribution was the key to good skiing..  It was a thrill to swoosh down the slope on a sunny day with no wind and just feel like  you could fly...but then it got so expensive to ski.  For us it meant flying or driving and reserving rooms, then lift tickets got every high...in the beginning we could get a lift ticket for like $30 half day...and if we flew to western slopes we normally went to Colorado and stayed with my sis.  But not always cause she had a small place with only a pull out couch.  So it just got to be a hassle, and seems I was always in debt from the ski trips so I gave it up!

When I bought my x out I cleared out all our old ski stuff took the boots and ski suits to goodwill and even the ski's too but they were really too old to even be of use....very outdated compared to the stuff of these days..I think the last time I went skiing was at Snowmass in Colorado...I recall I got very sick and we had to delay our departure by one day. 

So yesterday I spent the day getting in wood for the 3 days of bad weather we are predicted to have, hope the electric stays on this time.  My sis is having her 73rd birthday on Monday...we are getting way too old.  She has lived in CO for many years and yet she is the only one of us who never took up skiing....go figure.

Post Script:

I forgot to mention, last week I destroyed my binoculars.  The dial that controls the focus was spinning around not attached anymore....so miss fix it decided to put super glue on it...

Don't ever do this if you really want to keep your binoculars....I should have used double sided tape or some of that tacky putty whatever it's called.  So now they reside in the bag with the last pair of dead Polaris Binoculars that one of the prisms  simply jarred loose and was whoppersided, and even thou I tried to take it apart and get it back in alignment....it was never to work again.  What can you do with 2 pair of non working binoculars? 

So I found a pair of used Vortex Diamondback 8 x 42...hope they are not scratched or anything guy has 30 day returns so Im covered...

And they are $100 cheaper than the Amazon new ones...

I hope I will like them. 

day 16

EATHER WOES

Today we have an ice storm my electric keeps blinking on and off and I hope it doesn't just go off it could at any moment...the trees are covered and the power lines as well with ice.. Limbs are falling off the trees it sounds like a shotgun blast then you hear the thud of the limb hitting the ground.  Every single thing is coated in ice...it looks like a disaster movie.  

I ate breakfast early so I wouldn't have to use the camp stove if the power goes off but I have it at the ready jic...and my lanterns, and my battery bank also if I need to charge things...I don't know if my Modem will run off the battery bank? They should make modems with a battery backup a lithium ion inside like the laptop has.

My phone has very little service so using it as a hotspot is not really gonna work...never tried to do that.  It rained all night and as the temp dropped it began to coat the world if the sun should peek through it would be like a prism...but the Sun is no where to be seen and the wind i s picking up which means more  limbs falling..

This happens pretty regular in winter here I'd rather have snow than ice...snow does not damage things like ice does...my son had to go into work anyway which is scary hope he will be ok,,,and I hope he gets off before dark... The power just dimmed and blinked so I better publish this now!