Day 29

ILLING BUT NOT ABLE...
The cardiac issue Im having has been keeping me pretty much from doing what I want to do.  I tried to cut some wood, my heart was skipping beats every other one, and I got exhausted...the cold air was making me couch till I choked, and finally I gave up.  

I tried to pick up some of the many limbs that feel in the ice strom 2 weeks ago, it took me an hour just to get one pile moved and it was most all small stuff...again with the A-fib, flutter...OK I know what you're thinking--- go to the Doctor...well I may have to.  My x husband had a fib,  many years.,.but I believe mine is related to a faulty valve.  

I really don't know I just don't want to get on the medical revolving door...but I think if it continues I will ask for a beta blocker, metoprolol to help with BP.  

Im trying to avoid processed foods,  sugars, and salt, no chips or other snacks and got lots of fruit and cashews unsalted for snacking this week.  Im still only using a bit of bread compared to what I was doing.  As soon as the cold air moves on which is gonna be this week I will start doing block walks again...and just keep trying.  Sometimes Afib can not be controlled but yesterday it got so bad I took a Nitro tab and then basically lay down the rest of the afternoon, on the couch watching some tv and youtube.  I was an hr outside moving the limbs so getting exercise but it made it worse.   I was tachycardic and flushed...and my heart didn't really relax till I fell asleep.  Today just holding my arms up exhausted me, I was trying to wash the window. 

Damn! It's always something. 
Sis is picking up Jim's cremains today as far as I know she said she thought she might go they called and said it's ready... it sure gives me comfort going to Casey's graveside and talking to him I buried him and I know he is there so having that little bit of a connection helped me a lot with the loss of his daily presence, At first I went out and stood by his grave a couple times a day then it got to once a day and now I just go and stand over his grave maybe once a week...I will holler across the yard at him tho and SAY HI Little Buddy.   He is buried next to Grizz and Breezy.  Grizz was my son's childhood dog he passed in 1996 and Breezy was my Moms last dog she passed in 2003. 

Today I worked on my Son's birthday card his bday is in about 2 weeks,,,he will be 41...yes I know he is middle aged already...I decided I would make all the cards for my immediate family so last Oct made my younger sisters, then my brother in law,  made my older sis's in January and now my Son's, it's been a challenge for sure. But Im glad I did and Im glad it's over now too...

And the one Im making for my son also has an Owl, it's kinda bringing to mind the evening not long ago when we had gone somewhere together and on the way back we saw a Great Horned Owl sitting in a tree it was just about dusk...
Im not finished with it yet so I will take a photo when it's done.