Sunday, August 12, 2018

Life happens are we listening...

Since I got my old PC running again it's been amazing to open up that time capsule! I'm reading old blog posts the few I was able to save in Word files when 3 of the blog platforms I used closed down, 2005-2006 time frame.  I can see my writing style changed a LOT!  In fact I like my old style better.  I covered everything from the mundane to technical, from the private and personal to the political and religious even.  I think one thing that happened is back when I was supporting Obama for President, many of the people in the circle I had been blogging with were on the other side of that fence and I lost like 12 blog friends in the course of 2 weeks! I believe in fear of that happening to me again I decided to play it safe.  

I started to blog a photo some captions under photos, the artwork I was involved in at that time, etc...but the part I started to leave out was MY LIFE!  Each of us now a-days suffers from ADD.  It will be darned hard for most to even make it through this post. 

One thing I can say about my state of mind back then; I was determined!!   That is how I still am today.  I'm def more mellow and have very few needs not being satisfied, although I live a meager lifestyle.  The last year I was in NYC my job had really started to eat at me, and I still have PTSD and probably always will have...it was not all bad but the bad ones seem to hang around more in the corners of my mind than the good ones. I'm talking about experiences.  Sometimes I squeeze my head between my hands in a effort to forget.

On my last week in NYC before the move back to SC my last day working as a Paramedic was on my birthday the 29th...and the next day I made this post on My Space Blog:

Sept 30, 2006

Dear Blog Family, 
By the time you read this Ill be gone...I’ve always wanted to begin a letter that way, well I did once upon a time and you will all read that if you read my book Before Life Got Complicated.  I know that my life is getting ready to change again...I don’t have all the answers.  I came to New York City in search of something.

Many questions were answered while I was here...and some dreams...look at me soon to be a published author...I lived in my own little shoebox by the sea...I witnessed history in the making, I felt the terror, saw the pain, and tried to help. I became an EMT then a Paramedic...I’ve watched as people died, and I’ve seen infants born, and I've seen infants die. I saw some that I prayed they would die and be out of the miserable life they were trapped in.  

I witnessed suffering, seen Kings, and I’ve been a part of it all. New York is a vibrant place; its alive in a way I can't explain to you...you have to see it for yourself, feel it for yourself...and experience it for yourself. But until you live there you really don't know New York City.  You might visit, but you have to know the daily heart beat of the city to really understand.  From Brooklyn, to Astoria, Washington Heights to Harlem, Sheepshead Bay to Bay Shore, City Island to Roosevelt Island, from East New York to Pelham Bay Park to the Bronx to Central Park West, the  East Side, Alphabet City, West Side Drive , Upper, Lower, Midtown Manhattan...its a beautiful place full of beautiful determined people. 

When I arrived here I didn't know uptown from down, now I know NYC like the back of my hand.  I can tell you how to go local, which train to take, what bus to connect, what highway to take if you have a fast car...and if you want to walk I know all the street names and what corners to take you where you want to go...I’ve eaten in fine restaurants and I’ve struggled to eat take out rice n beans while flying down 5th Ave, lights and sirens blasting, and hoping I can scarf this food down before we arrive and have to jump out and once again try to help someone on the worst day of their lives. You have to learn how to disconnect. Tunnel vision helps keep you sane.

Some days it was almost more than I could bear, I broke down and sobbed in anger, disgust, desperation and yet in the end I made it. I survived a broken heart,  anger like you've never felt,  suppressed the urge to murder, and I’ve survived a job that takes lives daily.  I survived on my own. I went to work everyday missed only 2 days of work due to sickness in 5 1/2 years. I went back to school and worked my ass off for one year solid, putting in 72 hour weeks every week, and sometimes I staggered home looking like a drunk, cause I was so tired I couldn’t walk straight after pulling a double and going to class...and YET I did it! If you can make it here you can make it anywhere...and that is true!

This is a city of immigrants and opportunity.  The people here are the most tenacious in the whole world...they will not be outdone, they will not be ignored, and they will never give up! Just the other day I saw 2 men walking on the side of the street each one carrying a piece of 3/4" thick plywood, a full sheet! When is the last time you carried a sheet of heavy plywood a couple miles?  Do you know how hard that is???  They had been to Home Depot in Brooklyn and had no way to get that plywood home, so they were carrying it. It wouldn't fit in my little hooptie or I'd have stopped. That reminded me of a time back in my childhood when my Mom was raising 3 kids and had no car of her own...she went to the grocery store and had ended up with 3 bags of groceries, she could only carry 2 so she hid one behind a bush in the park, and prayed it would still be there when she came back to get it as she knew we had to have that food.  I did stop many times and gave people rides in my time here; not mentioning the almost nightly rides of co-workers to the train.

 I’ve seen people struggle and work 3 jobs just to make ends meet.   I had 2 myself for a while, I’ve seen others sit on their ass and do nothing but have babies they didn’t want and couldn't feed.  I’ve seen families show affection for each other in public. They practice their religions.  I’ve seen them fight and bring blood...I’ve seen riots, I marched in  Peace Rallies, and been delayed while the Critical Mass cyclists held up rush hour in Union Square for their cause. I attended the St. Patrick's Day Parade, the New Years Eve Ball Drop,  the Gay Pride Parade, the 9th Annual Lesbian Parade, Macy's Thanksgiving Parade, Poodle Parades, and walked in Protest Marches while cops in riot gear dared us to get out of hand.  I attended street festivals, Broadway and off Broadway plays, summer concerts in Central Park and in countless other venues,  and Mass at St Patrick's following 9/11. 

I’ve seen kindness, compassion, and love...I’ve seen incredible cruelty, I’ve seen honesty and loathsome evil people...I’ve seen ultra wealthy and I’ve seen homeless...crack addicts, and alcoholics laying in their own feces on the street while everyone walked around them; when I was off duty sometimes I walked around them too.  I hit the bars, and outside  seen vampires and drag queen's, beggars, artists, and street entertainers. I’ve been on stand by while buildings burnt to the ground, and firefighters came out with heat exhaustion and burns and taken them to the ER. I’ve seen LIFE happen right before my eyes and I've seen life snuffed out as buildings fell to the ground.  I’ve seen the best and the worst of NYC and the people who are NYC and I've been a part of it...sometimes it was good.
Then I’ve screamed WHY WHY WHY.

 I’ve been where you will never want to be, reviving dying addicts while their loved ones cried in the circle of death. Watched as men and women on the floor not breathing suddenly sitting up talking to us within minutes after we saved their addicted body, we could not save their minds.   I've been swallowed in a city of 9 million, I've been lonely as it vomited me out.  I’ve been happy I’ve been afraid, elated..and desperate. I've walked on cloud nine, I’ve known friends and lovers, seen enemies, been in places you wouldn’t dare go and I’ve challenged my right to be there. I’ve turned my back on people, I’ve said yes and I’ve said NO...I’ve carried a knife and been prepared to use it...I’ve been happy and I’ve been destroyed. 

More than anything else I’ve been HERE...I’ve see it, I’ve tasted it, I’ve lived it...yes I did IT!  So the question I was asking myself before I came here on May 7, 2001 has been answered and the answer is,
YES.... THERE IS LIFE OUT THERE, and I found it!

Have a great day bloggers I know I will, cause I'm finally going HOME!!

Friday, January 5, 2018

JMO- The Sky is Falling

hen the great scientist of the World agree Climate Change is real and man is partly to blame for it and some still nay say it makes me think WHY?  The current USA's administration is trying to hide the science so keep your eyes open.  Fake news outlets are always interviewing "Specialists" whom they have no doubt hired to publish what they want to hear that supports their theory, that only GOD can change the climate.  A pig in a poke.  

Yes the Earth will be here "we" will begin to struggle in the World we have created. It's not that we're destroying the "Earth" we are however changing it and destroying our own environment, the kind of Earth we need to survive on. 
An Earth that sustains life.  Excuse my language, but this is an old saying I'm sure you have heard before "don't shit where you eat". If you don't believe in Science then you must deny the moon landing, the creation of nuclear weapons, and the genetic coding of your DNA. Unfortunately sometimes the truth hurts. Now having said that, you have to consider the messenger in all the results of this science. If it's a pharmaceutical companies research telling me that I should take this pill....ehhh I don't know about that!! I want to read all the fine print first this is why we need a fair and unlobbyed Food and Drug Administration...a Fair EPA, a fair and inclusive Dept of Education, Agriculture, National Parks, Health and on and on...SCIENCE is not 100% but it's the closest thing to God that we have going for us! 

One day our Sun will explode, become a super nova, but until it does, the fragile atmosphere that keeps us alive is being changed by gases that are the by-product of human existence. Maybe if all gases were seen in colors the nay-sayer's would see the big picture. You eat beans you get gas...sometimes it hurts, it disrupts your innards, and BOOM you get an explosion!  Anyone who denies that man has a hand in his own destiny is a fool. You smoke you can get cancer, you eat too much you get fat, you use drugs you get addicted, you belch out too much CO2 you get bad air.  1 + 1 = 2 and if you deny Climate Change then you must also deny that simple equation.   

The exchange of gases is what makes the world go around, it creates planets, and it destroys them....natural exchange....The Theory of Relativity.
But what if the equation is suddenly messed with? H2O, 2 molecules of Hydrogen combined with 1 of Oxygen=Water.  Compare this, H2O2 is made by adding one more molecule of Oxygen, and that creates Hydrogen Peroxide, rut-roh we can't drink Hydrogen Peroxide...yuk! We don't know what the magic bond is that could destroy our Atmosphere...yet! But we could find out the hard way. 

It makes sense to me if we continue to add more of one gas than is needed the balance is all wrong therefore the very air we breath and the plants need for photosynthesis will eventually stop working like it should. The balance has to be in the right quantities or the proper gas exchange can't take place correctly.   It's like Lucy at the chocolate factory! At first they can keep up "it's easy," but then it goes faster and faster...and suddenly there is more chocolate going unwrapped...this is like the gas exchange...more Carbon Dioxide is left in the Atmosphere. 


Simple Math can explain it better than I can... The fifth most abundant gas in the atmosphere is carbon dioxide. The volume of this gas has increased by over 35% in the last three hundred years. (my mind shows me an over inflated balloon) This increase is primarily due to human induced burning from fossil fuels, deforestation, and other forms of land-use change. (stock yards, chicken houses, turkey houses, methane release) Carbon dioxide is an important greenhouse gas. The human-caused increase in its concentration in the atmosphere has strengthened the greenhouse effect and has definitely contributed to global warming over the last 100 years. Carbon dioxide is also naturally exchanged between the atmosphere and life through the processes of photosynthesis and respiration.

If the trend of increasing CO2 continues it could become the most dominate gas in our atmosphere! There is a tipping point to any container, and our atmosphere is a container. Did you know that most of the plant feeding nitrogen in our soil comes to the ground via rain! It's washed right out of the atmosphere because Nitrogen and Oxygen make up 99% of the main components of our atmosphere.


Mainly we all agree climate change is happening, it's what is causing it that separates us.  I ere on the side of the scientists...why you may ask? Well if I want advice on my health I go to a physician because they have done the most study and have the best understanding of the anatomy and physiology of the human body! They are the experts...If I have a legal problem I ask the advice of a lawyer...why because they have the most knowledge of how the law works...IF I want my car repaired I don't take it to the dentist.  If I want the truth I don't go to unworthy outlets for information who are manipulating news to serve a sector of their audience.  Back in the days we called it Censorship and it is becoming more and more mainstream as Conservative Media Guru's are buying up news outlets! If I want the truth on Climate I go to the Scientists who have and are studying it and I go to the reports and papers of these scientists for their results, not faux media. BUT if our Government shuts down the agencies that we have depended on for these facts where do we turn?

So you of course get the meaning of this; the Scientists have studied our Planet, they have collected the data, they know how to interpret that data. Me, I don't know JACK about it...so I'm glad we have these experts who do know and have the know how to pass this info to the free press  to get that message out to us. The whole world can't be wrong.

Paris Climate Agreement,
World Bank Will no longer Fund Oil n Gas exploration past 2019. 

If our Government will do nothing and it is currently actually doing harm by increasing the drilling for and using of fossil fuels, eventually Citizen Science is all we will have to depend on for our information.  In the current belligerent stream funding could be stopped,  test results manipulated, and propaganda spread, scientists fired and eventually Science as a whole could be lost for generations to come.  In some the elementary level Private Charter Schools science is not being taught to children.  What if that ignorance climbed up the chain to the secondary and the higher level of learning?  Universities with no higher math or science to study?  If say the National Weather Service was no longer allowed to give us weather data from around the world how would we know what's going on?  So I keep my own weather gathering devices here on my homestead.  That is only one simple idea...I hope the ones blessed with more education and know how are doing the same on a much larger stage than my little weather station that tells me how hot or cold it is.  But many people don't even have that to go on.  How would you know if the weather man was pulling your leg or not?

Are you aware of the ALT-NPS? The Alternative National Park Service.  They have a Facebook page and they just announced they will soon have a website. This is an underground organization who have made it their business to keep us informed of the "shady night deals" that our current administration has been up to...at the bottom of this episode of Writtin's I will post their 2017 year end review of changes made to the Policies of our Government concerning our Environment and Natural World.  It's lengthy!! Do take a look at it, then I think you will agree with me it is not just a whim that is driving my attitude it is cold hard facts of a small group of people driving our National Policy in the wrong direction.  The $buck$ has to stop somewhere. 

In the ruse of more jobs, the Current Administration is opening up our Parks, Public Lands, Private Lands, and Oceans to destruction by drilling, oil and gas exploration, uranium mining, fracking, water pollution by the coal indsutry, and the misuse of fragile ecosystems. (the Arctic for one) There are very few jobs in this industry, not enough to support this type expansion, and where are the graduates to fill these jobs?  I read most oil drilling platforms employ roughly a crew of 60.  For 60 blue collar jobs we would ruin an entire ecosystem in our Oceans?  

I think protecting our Oceans and Ecotourism creates more jobs!  Instead of 60 oily guys it could be hundreds of Oceanographers studying how to use warm African waters to create alternative energy, there could be Green technology factories developing solar powered ships, there could be Graduate Students whose thesis help creat new science that could drive entire Green industries..now that is job creation, and not just to benefit our economy but the economy of the entire world Partnerships in Sustainable Energy.  This misuse of power is not about creating jobs it's about $$ to the top tier the 1% who control lobbyists and who get unqualified people elected to our Government. Most of the  oil n gas jobs are blue collar jobs and not well sought after by mainstream Americans.  A small percent of the private sector is trying to control our World.  Soon the only science degree you will be able to get is Oil and Gas Chemist? 

Already we see a huge decline in insects, birds, and some mammals.  Some as much as 70%.  Edible plants are being genetically altered to suit an alternative reality...the reality is our ecosystem is beginning to fail.

In closing this post I hope I don't sound paranoid.  I am simply watching a disturbing trend.  It is scary to me, it was scary when the atom was split. Science is there to tell us what we SHOULD and should NOT do. Pandora's Box is real, we must do what we can, as informed intelligent people, to make sure we don't deny that science is real and insure we have the information we need to make decisions on how we to best use it.

Informed use is the key to our success and the continuance of life on Planet Earth. 


Click this image to go to Alt NPS.



An overview of the Trump administrations 2017 acts against the environment and wildlife. This list is not yet complete, but Congress should remember that we are watching and Tuesday, November 6th 2018 is not that far away.
On January 20th, Trump silenced the National Park Service from using social media.
On January 20th, National Park Service starts a “resistance” movement on social media accounts.
On January 24th, Trump issues several memoranda aiming to hasten permitting from the Dakota Access and Keystone XL oil pipelines.
On February 1st, U.S. Senate confirms ExxonMobil CEO Rex Tillerson as secretary of state.
On February 16th, Trump signs a joint resolution passed by Congress revoking the U.S. Department of the Interior’s “Stream Protection Rule.” The stream protection rule, which prevented mining companies dumping their waste into streams, is axed under the Congressional Review Act.
On February 17th, U.S. Senate confirms Scott Pruitt as the head of the U.S. EPA. In his prior role as Oklahoma’s attorney general, Pruitt frequently sued the EPA over its regulations, notably leading a 27-state lawsuit against the Clean Power Plan.
February 28th, President Trump issues an executive order formally asking the EPA to review the “Waters of the United States” rule.
On March 2, U.S. Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke spends his first day on the job rescinding an Obama-era prohibition of lead ammunition on federal lands and waters. Also, the EPA, Scott Pruitt, canceled a requirement for reporting methane emissions.
On March 7th, EPA’s Office of Science and Technology removed the word “science” from its mission statement.
On March 9th, EPA administrator Scott Pruitt that carbon dioxide’s role in the Earth’s changing climate remains unclear.
March 13th, White House releases its first preliminary budget under Trump. The budget outlines deep cuts to U.S. science and environmental agencies
On March 16th, the Trump administration proposed a 13 percent budget cut to the Park Service funding. These budget cuts would lose 1,242 full-time equivalent (FTE) staff, leading to significant challenges at almost every park.
On March 28th, Trump issued an executive order charging the DOI with reviewing rules for oil and gas drilling inside the boundaries of our national park sites. Trump's executive order also made the EPA start the process of rewriting the clean power plan.
On March 29th, Against the advice of the EPA’s chemical safety experts, EPA administrator Scott Pruitt rejects a decade-old petition asking that the EPA ban all use of the pesticide chlorpyrifos. Research suggests that chlorpyrifos may be associated with brain damage in children and farm workers, even at low exposures.
On March 29th, Ryan Zinke, the interior secretary, revoked the freeze and review on new coal leases on public lands.
April 3rd, Overturned a ban on hunting of predators in Alaskan wildlife refuges. Including the hunting of bear cubs in and around their dens.
April 5th, the trump administration withdrew guidance from federal agencies to include greenhouse gas emissions in environmental reviews.
On April 7th, staff members at EPA’s headquarters who specialized in climate change adaptation have been reassigned.
Rolled back limits on toxic discharge from power plants into public waterways.
On April 16th, Trump issued an executive order calling on the DOI to reopen its five-year plan for offshore drilling.
On April 19th, An Interior Department official updates the department’s climate change website, deleting much of its content in the process.
On April 22nd, Scientist March on Washington, voicing support for science’s role in society.
On April 26th, Trump instructs Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke to review as many as 40 national monuments created since 1996 to determine if any of Trump’s three predecessors exceeded their authority when protecting large tracts of already-public land under the Antiquities Act of 1906.
On April 27th, the EPA delayed a lawsuit over a rule regulating airborne mercury emissions from power plants.
On April 28th, EPA scrubs climate change from their website.
On May 5th, the EPA dismisses several members of the Board of Scientific Counselors.
On June 1st, the U.S. pulls out of the Paris Climate Agreement.
On June 8th, Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke on Wednesday ordered a review of an Obama administration conservation plan to protect the greater sage-grouse to determine if that plan interferes with Trump administration efforts to increase energy production on federal lands.
On June 12th, Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke recommended that Bears Ears National Monument in southern Utah’s red rock country be shrunk by President Trump.
On June 26th, the administration called for the repeal of the Clean Water Rule.
On July 6th, the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers approved a permit that would allow Dominion Energy, to build 17 enormous transmission towers near Colonial National Historical Park, the site of the United States first English colony.
On July 19th, the DOI called for a reexamination of rules that protect bears and wolves in national preserves in Alaska from egregious hunting methods, including baiting bears with grease-soaked donuts and killing mother bears with their cubs.
On August 7th, The DOI relaxes aspects of sage grouse protection to help with the Trump administration’s efforts to increase energy production on federal lands.
On August 22nd, the trump administration has suspended a study of health risks to residents who live near mountaintop removal coal mine sites in the Appalachian Mountains.
On October 9th, Trump EPA works on scrapping the Clean Power Plan(CCP). Scott Pruitt gave a speech in Hazard, Kentucky and declared that he will sign a proposal on Tuesday that would eliminate the CCP.
On October 23rd, The Department of Interior proposed the largest ever gas and oil lease auction of 77 million acres of federal waters within the Gulf of Mexico.
On October 24th, A small Montana company located in Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke's hometown has signed a $300 million contract to help get the power back on in Puerto Rico. Whitefish Energy Holdings, LLC had only two full-time employees on the day Hurricane Maria hit Puerto Rico
On November 1st, Trump administration proposed a rule Tuesday to federalize regulation of drift gillnets used to catch swordfish on the West Coast. The rule would end California's right to prevent the deadly entanglements of sea turtles, whales, and dolphins in these underwater, mile-long nets.
On November 2nd, Trump administration is targeting for review a uranium mining ban that former President Barack Obama instituted in the watershed of the Grand Canyon
On November 7th, French President Emmanuel Macron's Cabinet said Trump not invited to climate change summit for the time being.
On November 16th, The Trump administration has reversed the ban on elephant trophy imports. They have agreed to allow the remains of elephants killed in Zimbabwe and Zambia to be brought back to the U.S.
On November 16th, The Keystone pipeline has leaked and spilled about 210,000 gallons of oil in South Dakota. TransCanada Corp.'s Keystone pipeline has been temporarily shut down.
On November 24th, Tucked away in the Senate report accompanying the funding bill for the Department of the Interior is a directive to the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service to end the Red Wolf recovery program and declare the Red Wolf extinct.
On November 25th, Oil drilling in a vast Alaskan wildlife refuge moved a step closer to reality after the U.S. Senate energy and natural resources panel voted 13-10 to open part of the reserve
On November 28th, The Cause of Action Institute (a group aligned with GOP mega-donors Charles and David Koch) have filed suit accusing EPA employee of using an encrypted messaging services to protect their jobs. They report that EPA employees were using an encrypted messaging app to determine how to respond to a feared purge of climate science from the new Trump administration.
On November 28th, the Trump administration has approved an oil company’s request to explore for oil in the Arctic Ocean.
On December 4th, Trump gave a speech in Salt Lake City announcing his intentions to reduce two Utah national monuments Bears Ears and Grand Staircase Escalante National Monument. Bears Ears would be reduced by 1.35 million acres (-85%) and Grand Staircase Escalante would be reduced by 1.88 million acres (-50%).
On December 7th, Trump administration drops rule requiring mining companies to have money to clean up pollution, despite an industry legacy of abandoned mines that have fouled waterways across the U.S.
On December 8th, the Trump administration will suspend a rule to limit methane leaks from oil and gas operations on federal land.
On December 14th, Trump administration removed net neutrality. This now allows broadband providers to block websites like ours. The Internet has played an increasingly vital role in political expression and organizing. Groups like ours have used social media to share information, plan events, and motivate participation.
On December 15th, It was reported that Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke brought David Smith the superintendent of Joshua Tree National Park to his office to reprimand him for climate change-related tweets the park sent via Twitter.
On December 16th, Trump administration is prohibiting officials at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention from using a list of words, including "fetus," "entitlement," "diversity," "transgender," "vulnerable," "evidence-based" and "science-based."
On December 18th, Trump announced the US will no longer regard climate change by name as a national security threat.
On December 19th, EPA has ended a contract with a group (Definers Public Affairs) that had been investigating any EPA employees who disagreed with the Trump administration agenda.
On December 19th, in the emergency supplemental funding bill language was hidden that would exempt Federal Emergency Management Agency(FEMA) from following requirements set by the Endangered Species Act.
On December 20th, Toxic chemical bans were indefinitely postponed for methylene chloride, N-methylpyrrolidone (NMP) and trichloroethylene (TCE).
On December 21st, Independent studies were halted that would improve the safety of offshore drilling platforms and another to look at health risks of mountaintop-removal coal mining in central Appalachia.
On December 21st, Revoked the Obama-era Resource Management Planning Rule (Planning 2.0 Rule), which advocated new technologies to improve transparency related to mining on public lands. A Federal Register filing said this rule "shall be treated as if it had never taken effect."
On December 22nd, The Republican “tax reform” bill was signed and included opening the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to oil drilling.
On December 22nd, Ruled that "incidental" killings of 1,000 migratory bird species are not illegal under the Migratory Bird Treaty Act.
On December 22nd, Reversed a previous Obama-era Interior Department decision to withdraw permits for a proposed $2.8 billion copper mine in Minnesota.
On December 23rd, It was reported that hundreds of U.S. Geological Survey (USGS) scientists were barred from attending an industry conference this month.
On December 27th, A plan was announced to consider increasing the use of neonicotinoid insecticides known as thiamethoxam, which is proven to be deadly to bees.
On December 27th, Allowed oil and gas leasing and development near and even inside greater sage-grouse habitat management areas.
On December 28th, Announced a plan to repeal an Obama-era rule that governed fracking standards on federal and tribal lands. The rule would have required companies to disclose chemicals used in their fracking fluids, set standards for well construction, and required surface ponds holding fracking fluids to be covered.
On December 29th, Trump administration proposed to remove offshore-drilling safety regulations put in place after the deadly Deepwater Horizon disaster.



Saturday, September 2, 2017

Free Bird

OW!

It has been like forever since I typed a post for Writtin's. Today I need listeners who have no suggestions, solutions, or support.  Just want these words to get out there so it's outside not inside.  I put it out in the Universe, so it leaves me, spills out like blood cleaning out the pathogens as it flows. A wound cleared.

Phrases like "at the end of my rope", "losing it", and "I'm out of here" come to mind for me today.  Do you ever have those days when you want to slink away in the dark of night never to return, stop paying your bills, cancel the phone, take what bit of money you have in the form of cash, write a suicide note and just disappear?  

When I was in my twenties that was my yearn.  Before my real adult life ever started I wanted to rearrange it; put it on a different path. It was like I could see into the future and I wanted to change it.  I wanted to disappear, go off the grid, venture off the reservation...become a mystery, someone who was, but suddenly was no more.  But instead of doing that I did what most responsible people do...settle down, get married, raise a kid, start a business, be there for family,  and reluctantly whittle out an American Dream...accept my accidental life, convince myself "this is best".  

But honestly I never convinced.  I have fought it my entire life.  The urge to go "poof " like a rabbit in the hat has always been in the back of my mind...I fantasize, and it feels good, it frees me up, I go somewhere, I am someone, I recreate me.  I become one of those free wheeling people, you know the ones I'm talking about.  They never married, they left school in the 10th grade and disappeared from small town life.  They never had a "real" life, and yet they seemed so free, they had no one depending on them because they were completely undependable, no one had expectations of them because they were immune from expectations, they lived their life their way and only their way.  Maybe you're one of these lucky souls? 

 Zoning out is something I need in order to keep my fantasy life going...to weed out real life from my secret one...and when I don't get that zone out time, then I am a fantasy interrupted.  I can't breath and the overwhelming feeling of "I'm dying... with regrets" comes on so strong, it's like a freight train loaded with rocks colliding with one loaded with sand...BOOM!

Wanderlust is my disease of choice! A mental disease...one for which there is no apparent cure, it is a mind in loop, like the ticking of a clock; it keeps moving around and around tic by toc.  The spirit wants the freedom to be wandering till the day you just drop dead of over living...not of yearning or regretting.  These thoughts bring me back to my preoccupation with time. Time, the river we all float in, the one we drift about in, the river we pollute, the one we let run dry and the last bit of what we hold dear.   Tic Toc...

Time is affected by speed and gravity....when you feel weighted down time passes so slowly...when you feel lighter than air time passes so quickly...well you barely know where it went.  

A need for the solace of free wheeling and wandering tightens around my neck. I feel like a Pitbull living in the ghetto...the chain is huge the locks are tight. Is the need to escape directly related to the gravity of the load one is tied to...the stronger the drag, the stronger the pull? Just askin'.
  
I am watching my mom slowly lose her mind, her time is running out and I realize how quickly that happened. In just a few short years she went from an independent self sufficient person to someone who has forgotten how to care for her own physical needs,  (so glad I wrote down how she prepares her dentures for daily use as I watched her do it one day about a year ago because now she has no clue where to begin).  She can barely read and can no longer write, and has no comprehension of what she reads.  She has forgotten how to go about everyday life unless you remind her.  She thinks she has not eaten when she has or thinks she has eaten when she has not.  

This watching destroys how you feel about life when someone slowly disappears but right before your very eyes...just like I wanted to do only I wanted it to be one swift disappearance, not this meandering away day by day, hour by agonizing hour. The eyes grow vacant...awareness is slow, the look is fear. 

She sees people who are not here she thinks our dogs are not in the room when they are, she thinks she can still do things she did years ago like drive a car, prepared her own meals, and take care of herself.  Oh how I wish she could.  In reality she can do none of these things and each day it gets harder to deal with the mental state she lives in... her fantasy is difficult to deal with same as mine is.  Her fantasy is taking her away from me, away from her family minute by minute... while mine waits...so who is in a better place?  The knowing is not enough to stop me from getting angry at her when she tries to leave the house while I'm busy with chores, I forget she is my Mom, I forget to be understanding, and I lash out at her with words she does not understand and has no perception of right or wrong...how dare she escape while I am left to deal with this reality. 

Fortunately this is one of the last weeks I have to deal with her daily care as I have done for many of these past years. If all goes as it is planned out I will be turning the torch over to my sister.  She who has been a free bird will now have wings clipped.
I feel free and sadly empty. 

Saturday, December 10, 2016

New World Order

hat were they thinking?

The people who voted for the nightmare regime preparing to over throw the govt of the USA, I mean did they really believe that horse**it?  So now instead of the 1% running our economy via lobbyists, they will just skip that part and do it themselves.  The entire cabinet picks are made up of someone from that sector who have a huge bias against the department they have been assigned to lead.  How is this balanced? I guess they are trying to not just eradicate the people they don't like, the Blacks, the Mexicans, the Jews, the Environmentalists,  the Educators, the Free Enterprise, the Hippies, and the Media, Freedom of Choice, BUT also anyone who is not one of the above but supports their freedom to be who and what they are.  

Where is the freedom going? Up in $$$ smoke. As I wrote way back in my "Corporate Coop of America" post, our country is no longer a Democracy, you can wave your flag all day but its NOT.  It has not been since Reagan. It's a Corportacracy or to me more fitting would be Corportastrophroy. FASCIST!  The Top 10 major Corporations and the 149 Banks of the World run everything. 

I don't pretend to understand global economics, I just know when too much is not good...and this outlandish giving of the control of our Government to the FAR REICH is wrong for 99% of the population, people like me and hopefully you, who don't think it takes millions to have a good life on planet Earth will be completely ignored they only want our money!! They don't care if our children go hungry, uneducated, and die in a filthy environment, as long as they can all live like Kings they are happy. Extravagant life styles are not necessary to have a good life...yet they horde billions of dollars and destroy our environment so they can have more..Think KOCH BROTHERS and think Russian!


Bill Gates to me is the model billionaire, he has given away $28 Billion! Compared to Trump who lies so much and avoids transparency to the point we really don't know and can't depend on what he says to be the truth.
According to News Examiner dot net , 
Although Donald Trump has described himself as an “ardent philanthropist,” he has only donated $3.7 million to his own foundation. In comparison, a wrestling company has given Trump's foundation $5 million. He ranks among the least charitable billionaires in the world."

The man's heart is made of coal....I don't need an economics class to see the difference there...But what I really don't understand is why do a certain % of our population not understand what doors they have opened, the doors of racism, of iron rule, the doors of intimidation, and the doors that will slam on their own feet as they try to navigate the "swamp" they wanted drained. This swamp will now drown the common man, it wouldn't surprise me if they with hold FOOD!  Think "Hunger Games". 

The dying middle class is dying Because of these Corporations, Banks, and High $$$ figures Trump is putting into his cabinet.  They want more of the bottom line in their pockets, they don't care about the individual.  The man he put in for Labor Dept. is a sexist, as his TV commercials spell that out, (think Hardees and Carl Jr hamburger joints) he said the future is robots doing the work....so how does that fit into the equation of increasing jobs here in the US. Unless you own a robotics corporation it doesn't. 

They don't answer to the American People they answer to the stock holders and banks...they answer to the big polluters, they answer to the corporate supplied military machine, they answer to the undoing of our Constitution. 

I am not in support of anyone so far that Trump has named to be in charge of his cabinet offices (or Trump either for that matter) simply due to their/his bias in the areas of our rights to be a free people.  We should be free to demonstrate, to denounce, to have a media not fearful of retaliation, speech, free choice, and freedom to protect our environment against the likes of big oil and big banks and the Koch Bros.  Freedom to expect equality, and freedom against discrimination due to our sex, race, religion...They are trying to tie our mouths and our hands! 

Trump and his win is to me the biggest disaster since Noah's Arch! We are on the verge of a new civil unrest like we have never seen before...a new civil war ...the undoing of the USA. I just wanted to go on record as saying "I told you so", while I still have that freedom. 

Sunday, October 30, 2016

Crazy is as Crazy does...

HERE IS THE CRAZY LINE?

I don't know about you but my life seems to be sailing so fast these days! Never enough time and yet I seem to waste a lot of it because wasting time is so relaxing, or is it relaxing to waste time? Which ever it is, both are waning; time to relax and time to waste.  Ever wonder if that last breath you took would be your last, that last blink of the eye, that last heartbeat,  the last squeeze of that muscle?  Ever stop and really think about how you will die? I  know it's rather morbid, but it is one day till Halloween, and Dia de los Muertos.  So it makes me wonder about what waits beyond mortality.

Watched a special on one of the PBS.digital channels these perfectly sane sounding people were discussing the idiotic thinking of the public back in pre Colonial America when people were accused of being wicked spirits if someone's horse refused to go past their garden gate or their hounds barked at a particular villager.  One such accused was brought to the court; the court said she is not a witch...the towns people later hanged her overnight and yet she did not die she lived another 7 yrs. 

Then this same panel of "experts" who had nay-sayed the Salem witch accusers, began to speak in honest support of the idea of ghosts and spirits of the dead who roam the Earth.  Okay--now I was saying WTH?  They related their supporting tales of items suddenly falling from shelves, of doors slamming by themselves, of faint images of ghostly proportions walking around in the shadows of night, and of shadows suddenly moving when nothing moved! 

Putting our belief system to the test is how we try to understand the opposition.  Ex: to me the whole story of creation as is told in the Bible is a fable. Talking serpents, burning bushes, parting of seas...so as these seemingly intelligent people believe in ghosts, so may the writers of the Scripture be "believers" of some other type. 

I'm not from Missouri, but show me how this is all possible, things go bump in the night and that means ghosts exist?  I know there is a spirit inside us it has an energy force it has weight therefore it is real...does it becoming a peeping tom of some kind, does our Grandmother watch over us, I sure hope not I don't want her watching me in the shower?? Yet, I can't help myself but believe in Guardian Angels, Spirit Guides, and Re-Incarnation.  
Damned and I thought I was an intelligent person who could not be fooled by old myths, wives tales, and illogical nonfactual  based nonsense...a la  hocus pocus!

So much time has passed but I'm just as superstitious as my 7th Gr Grand Mother who was accused of witch craft, and I want to believe in good spirits fighting off evil...but I don't want to believe in evil spirits controlling my mind and constantly pushing my buttons.  And so maybe it's all about hope, faith, and the way we spend our free time relaxing and letting our minds convince us that there is more to life than meets the eye.  We want more therefore there is more. 

....and then on the other foot is the other shoe, the one worn by the ones who are out there-- beyond the scope of our ability to understand, the mass murderers, the psychos child molesters, the criminally insane...is there a fine line or no line at all?  Is it just beliefs we have made up and convinced ourselves it's okay...and maybe there is no cup with which to measure the Mind...or Time if it's wasted or time well spent who decides?  We lock up, medicate, and deny the validity of a certain number of our population we call them crazy...yet we believe in ghosts and goblins and things that go bump in the night...and we set fire to a pumpkin and dress up as skeletons once every year and we teach our children to do the same.   

Crazy right?



Monday, July 4, 2016

The failure of living....

ITH PLASTICS!
Sweltry is the word. (Google doesn't like that word and has underlined it in red however it is part of my vocabulary so it stays.)  If I was made of Plastic I would probably melt.
Why am I in Carolina in the summer?  I keep asking myself that question.  I'm here to help my Mom and that is the honest answer and I have to stay busy so I do things...I work around our little homesteads, and keep things greased and the cogs moving....speaking of cogs this is the plastic piece that caused my van window to stop moving.  Notice how the groves are squashed.


I can't believe it is wise to use plastic for this part as its a twisted wire cable that winds around it and as you raise and lower your window it is wrapping around this piece trillions of times, up and down, up and down.... and as this plastic wears out, as you see, then the cable gets all mutilated and eventually stops moving as it gets tangled and caught in the works.  Just like 2 old sewing machines I finally tossed they had 2 plastic moving parts and both failed in the plastic part area. 

Regular maintenance around here includes lots of mowing, trimming, picking up limbs that fall from the mannnnny trees and watering plant beds as we have only a few and some plants in pots.   One project that was added to the list this week was moving the martin houses back into the field, I had moved them to the edge of the trees back in 2012 when the forced to sell chapter of my life was going on.  The squirrels did a number on these houses during that time near the trees where they could get on them and chew away at the plastic doors, So I had to order more doors.  These are the S & K Purple Martin Cottages and together  with 8 plastic gourds, they can house 32 nests! Perfect for a small colony.   IF ever I can get martins that is, normally I get great crested flycatchers and bluebirds. Another plastic failure...do you notice a pattern here?  Lowe's sells decoy purple martins to entice martins to nest at my place they are made of Plastic!  I think I'd enjoy whittling up some decoys myself out of wood. 

Take note if you have anything made of plastic be on guard for the day...once I attended a garden wedding, we sat in those plastic chairs.  A portly man of unknown poundage sat in one on the front row, and suddenly both front legs just snapped off! He went face over, to the ground!  Although it was NOT funny, I apologize for the case of giggles it brought inside my head.   During the entire affair all I could do was keep trying to NOT laugh out loud...it was worse than having a sneezing fit!  I kept trying to temper my giggles with "it was not funny, what if that had been you"... then I would visualize ME going over face first and that made me need to laugh so much I excused myself to the restroom just so I could let it all out!! Others must have thought me crazy! SO plastic can become an embarrassing event!

Here is another story for you about plastic!! When I took Mom to her new DR they wanted to do a bone density test.  In the other exam room divided by some sort of plastic divider, we could hear every word being said...
The tech exclaimed, "what in the world is that?"
the patient, "mumbled answer"...so then the tech goes out and comes back with the Dr. but they talk outside the plastic divider. 
"she has an old IUD in there she says its been in there 30 years." 
DR."What the hell, 30 yrs, how old is she, Good Lord she is 72 yrs old , she doesn't need an IUD." 
Dr enters cubical..."We can remove that for you, you don't need it anymore."
the patient "mumbles"
Dr outside again, "We can't make her take it out, just make a note of it and let it go."

I was bonking out in the other cube screaming in my head, "take it out."   It gave me the creeps knowing it was in there...made me wonder what other plastics are being concealed behind flesh?  My Mom has 2 titanium hip joints, but not plastic.  Most knee replacements are made of plastic!  I have seen them...
Riding an elevator with one of my former EMT/Paramedic partners, Mark, in Beth Israel Hospital for Special Surgeries in NYC.  We were taking a patient home after he had knee surgery.  When the elevator opened (we normally used freight elevators to take patients up and down)  (and this makes me wonder about the cogs in elevators winding up and down hope they are not made of Plastic.) so when it opened there was this rack full of little boxes, my (kleptomaniac) partner Mark crabbed one box and put it on the stretcher. I asked "why did you do that?" 
He replied, "I need an ace bandage for my knee." So he was stealing an ace bandage.  I was not in the habit of governing the morals of a grown man from Guyana. I simply governed my own life.  So later in the ambulance after the job was done he opened up his "ace bandage" box, inside was a brand new Knee Replacement made of plastic and titanium! Probably worth about $1000.00 His eyes nearly fell out of their sockets...All I said was,
 "are we learning yet?"
Then he started to wonder what he could get for it on Ebay...I reminded him it was stolen...I think in the end he tossed it in the trash!!  His car broke down one day on the BQE, plastic fuel pump.

After I moved back to SC and ended up back in the upholstery biz after swearing I'd never do upholstery again, I was once again working in a small group of  women.  My boss had this habit of giving people pet names...I have to admit, I have done this before if its an especially annoying person. This particular client was so rich she redid her interior designs on a whim....and she had that same inclination for facial enhancement surgery....my boss nicknamed her Plastic Face.  Not a very nice thing to say about anyone.. but I have to say her face gave you the impression that she was standing behind a sheet of plastic that had been stretched and then pressed to her skin.  Not attractive, not in the least.  
So the other day while I patiently waited for Mom to do her one hour of PT, in comes who else, but that lady!! She came over to speak to me and ask how I've been,  I had no recollection of her real name all I could think of was Plastic Face.  How horrid is that. Happy to report she had not had any more surgeries as I could tell anyways.

She got on the stationary bike by all appearances  it's made entirely out of plastic and it has lots of cogs!  Now a-days many street bicycles have plastic gears on them! I have an old bike, and not so long ago I came to own, by divorce, a new bike.  When I compare the 2, mine is a better bike hands down. NO Plastic in the important parts.  Still as sturdy and strong as the day it was purchased, the new bike "skips" when you ride it, the chain does not make good contact with the plastic gears. Go figure...next they will figure a way to make the chain out of plastic OH WAIT didn't I see that already in the hardware department, yellow plastic chain, which I'm sure would break with only simple pressure.

So I guess I'm not a fan of plastic when it comes down to it.  Plastic although has advanced society, how can we depend on it? I'd rather build on a solid foundation, not one that has such a short shelf life!  The Steel industry was not put to rest by a lack of need it was put to rest by plastic! At the root of plastic is the Gas and Oil Industry! Look at how many things are now made of plastic, just about everything! In Canada they now make their bills out of plastic!  I have heard it snaps if it gets frozen and it melts if it gets hot!! 



Sunday, May 8, 2016

Seriously bad Sh*T

e change, the world changes!

13 years ago my sister came to NYC on a business trip.  She was staying at a swanky hotel so I took the train uptown and stayed with her in the swanky hotel.  You know how they provide drinking cups on the vanity? Well this swanky place puts rigid plastic cups wrapped in cellophane to be used once and tossed....I kept the 2 small cups I opened... they have the hotel logo etched on them...and I still use them today.  In these past 13 yrs I can only imagine how many of these cups they have tossed into the garbage? A trillion possibly, most likely MORE than I can imagine...if every room and this was a 20 story hotel, huge possibly an entire city block in length so I figure 20 rooms at least per floor, 400 rooms, with 2 cups per room per day...Okay you get the idea and can do the math. 

I'm going to tell you something you already know! Plastic is BAD!  I needed this new slap upside my head reminder tho....so glad I just watched a documentary on Pivot channel about  plastics and how it is ruining our oceans, killing our birds, fish, and other sea creatures, making our children reach puberty too early, destroying brain cells, and causing many health issues to our population.  I don't begin to pretend I'm not one of the offenders but I do try...Now my plan is to try harder!  

Naming here the industry and corporations responsible,  who create these monsters; Exxon Mobil, Dupont, and Dow Chemicals.  They refuse to be held accountable for their products...and they file lawsuits to cease and desist against any small fry who try to awaken society and hold them accountable like a guy called Mr Plastic Bag, Bag Man who tied bags to his body and tried to raise awareness of the dangers of plastic bags as he marched around town. 

The middle of the ocean is a steaming hot mess of plastic collecting in huge barges of flotsom made up mostly of BPA plastics.  The researchers did an on the spot autopsy of a dead albatross cutting him open at the belly and he was full up with plastic bottle caps, bits n pieces of plastic mesh, and other things like plastic straws, toys, plastic packaging and just a whole sh*t load of plastic!! 

British chemist Charles Edward Dodds recognizes BPA as an artificial estrogen?  Amazing right..after long battles and while other countries have banned BPA for food containers and especially infant foods, In March 2014, Rep. Edward Markey (D-MA) asks the FDA to ban the chemical's use in formula containers, reusable food containers and in canned foods and beverages. The last two petitions are rejected, but the FDA accepts the petition on infant formula, and says it plans to collect comment from the public before making a final decision. The FDA says it will try to complete a scientific review within the next 90 days.  I for one don't need or plan to wait on the freaking FDA to keep me safe....who do you think they plan to side with?? Did you know most FDA examiners and officials came right from the food industry?  
There is a fox in the hen house folks!!
So what we have are 3 of the biggest corporations on Earth destroying the Earth and who is the middle man spreading it from pole to pole?? WE are ---YOU AND I!!  In the times we live seems we have given up trying to fight the good fight...I know I feel the same way-- it's hopeless...we feel helpless to stop them they are TOO BIG for us to defeat. Lawyers will fall upon us like Brimstone straight from hell...there are way too many deaf ears in these times we live in. 
So what can we do?? Simple, don't buy the crap they sell in plastic!  Single use plastic bags, cups, coffee container tops, bottles, things things things

Who am I to preach, well I'm not! I am not going to preach I'm going to lead by example, and make a challenge to all who read these pages.  Bottled water buyers beware!! What's wrong with buying yourself a sweet bottle you will reuse, a metal one perhaps? Non BPA bottles save millions of tons of that crap from becoming a death trap for a bird who may have never seen a human in it's entire life.  Why do our blueberries have to be in plastic containers?? Then maybe we don't eat blue berries if they are in plastic! 
Shrink wrapped veggies, NO way get the loose veggies, and don't put them in one of those plastic bags to take home...just toss them in the cart!  This is my plan I'm sure you can come up with one that will work for you!

People of NYC are lucky in that there is a fresh produce market right on each street corner! Selling produce in bins un-bagged and unwrapped is the best way.   Paper bags work great and they decay!  Trees are renewable, not talking ancient forest here...but areas like where I live have become tree growing hots spots...so why not sacrifice some sandy land not much good for growing anything anyway and grow these dang pulpwood pines....yes paper has its problems with waste waters at the source of production...(one fight at a time). Speaking of cities,  when I lived in NYC I can tell you they produce more trash than you can imagine...it leaves on huge barges from Staten Island every single day it goes to your state, and mine, and it goes to China where most of the recycle processing is being done!!

Bring your own cloth reusable bag to the check out or a cardboard box! I like boxes too cause they don't fall over in the car ride home and you can reuse them for years if you take care of them!  Glass bottles are awesome you can keep them forever and refill them with your favorite beverage make your own beverages, teas, coffee. Use refillable pods not the ones made of one use plastic! Did you know they been lining the inside of canned food with this BPA stuff? It leeches into the food--

Recycling is one help but guess what its only makes up 30% of the plastics being manufactured..it is still 70% NEW material!!  As of late I have become a slacker, I was buying some products in plastic, but Mom and I just had a conversation, we are going to reduce our plastic use by as much as we possibly can, like my Mom's medicine comes in plastic, we can't change that!! Until Biodegradable packaging  becomes profitable it will be up to each of us to do the right thing!! NO more ONE use purchases of plastics for us. 
This stuff can not be thrown away...it goes from your hand right to the environment! It never goes away it stays for EVER, unless we process it into something else...and we really don't need these plastics to continue! We got along just fine with the old ways of packaging before plastics came along. 

SO I'm not preaching I am issuing a challenge, give some thought to the products you buy and try your very best to not buy plastic encased products...if you can't convince anyone else to follow your lead, no matter, you are making a difference, do the math to prove to yourself how much difference one person can make.





we must be the change we wish to see---Ghandi